What's In A Name?

Ever since I was a kid, people have been calling me all sorts of names except for that one decent name, my folks thought would identify me.

I've been tagged as "Suppandi" (for my stupidity) by my cousins; a name they'll probably use even when i'm an age-old grandpa (won't talk too much about grandpapas here.. more on that later)..

Enter school where people referred to me as Guinea Pig aka Piggie for my nearly football shaped body and a pouting nose. That name stuck to me for nearly a decade and hell yeah, I used to be annoyed by that one; though I din't have the fitness nor the drive to chase down the bullies who called me a Piggie. D'oh.. :x (Some of the meaner ones used to chant "Dummi" - a fat, really fat, girl... They had a song for it as well... Bhari-dummi, handi mamsa i.e. pig fat, chicken mutton)

2 days into my engineering, when I felt I'd exorcised the demons of Piggie, and hey-presto, I got a new nick name - Thatha aka Grandpapa. My wise-ass friends keenly observed my glaring physical attributes - a receding hairline and a pot belly and they decided that I was the "Thatha" of the gang. God, did that name stick to me like a leech. Oh, and shortly the same set of folks also started calling me "BM" - an acronym of a famous kannada quote that I'd better not quote :). Now, here was a guy who had nested nicknames.

Scene: Engg college canteen, football session goin on...
Deepak: Oi Thatha, pass the ball...
Me - ignore and take ball forward...
Hari: Loafer BM, pass the ball to Deepak...

Deepak and Hari together: Loafer Thatha - BM, ball pass maado...
And I'm like "D'oh... that's like saying Bhargav Bhargav ... like some african tribal called Djemba Djemba..

Ah... Sadly, these names stuck with me during my MindTree days as well. And as luck would have it more names got appended. This time the car gang named me Khokua. For the uninitiated, it means Gundygut or Glutton. Some respite huh!!!

Fresh set of faces, different location... I thought I'd left my legacy of nicknames back in good old Bengaluru when I left for Mumbai to do my MBA... Alas... Some folks just don't have any luck.. :(
Here, it is/was of a different kind though... Initially, the junta just couldn't digest the fact that Bhargav can be a first name as well (and not necessarily a surname)... once they came to accept that, I was better known as Bhaskar - coz brand-Bhargav recollection was a numeral that the Indians claimed to have discovered i.e. zero.

After Bhaskar came Baga (after the dumb-guy in Lagaan)... People have started called me Bhargava or Bargav (minus the 'h')... To add to my woes, the faculty calls me "Uday" and virtually every lecture I end up giving proxy to my dad...
Faculty: "Uday has something to say about this case"
Me: "Err...My dad hasn't read the case study... Uday Jr. has a point or two"

Faculty (While calling out the attendance): "Uday"
Me: " Yes Sir..." (Haah..take that...successfully gave proxy to my dad.... yet again)

I try to book my flight ticket and I get a mail saying "Mr Chandra, your flight details are..."
In a fit of rage, I delete the mail only to realize that I haven't boarded the flight yet...

Just when I thought that the place where I'm interning would be nick-name free, i get my email id which says "bhargav.udai@..... .com"...Spelling mistake..that's the last straw...

And today..what prompted me to post this blog - Some random chap in office calling me "Bhargesh"!!! D'oh :x

For the sake of everything that's holy, it is BHARGAV - B for Boring, H for Hopeless, A for jackAss, R for Retard, G for Goofy, A again for Jackass and V for Vork-shirk (does work start with a V or a W?)

Random Saturday Mutterings

True..I like weekends.. I mean, who doesn't.. (Blah..din't have any other way of starting off this post).. Am lazy to have breakfast/lunch, right now... The very fact that I have to provide the momentum to get my posterior up from this comfortable bed makes me think twice...

Shifted to my new apartment... Am now the proud 'part-owner' of a rented flat in Juhu!!! Whoa...The Juhu!!! (Question: If it is a rented flat, how does it make me the owner? Ans: Good question )

To take a break from the eternally stressful entity called work, I've been tracking the general elections and of course IPL.

I'm voting for this Mulayam singh bloke. To me, this guy has been the best of the lot in terms of speech... He's promised that he would be banning English and computers. Nice. This is exactly the kind of people our country needs. I mean, why do we need computers? Or english for that matter? We could go one step further and ban schools as well. No Schools => no colleges => no exams (Note: This comment is purely accidental and any correlation with the author's exams and pending results are purely coincidental). We need more leaders like him.

Moving on to the IPL, I am pished. Mighty pished. Being a diehard Bangalore Royal Challengers fan, i am upset at the fact that the Icon Player of RCB hasn't been featuring in the Playing - 11. He is 42 years old and he needs a walking stick. He's got supreme talent but it's just that he cannot bat, bowl and field. Barring these minor aberrations (that can be overlooked), he's a great asset. Sunil Joshi - you have me on your side.

Ah... The Vome Sick The Me

Thanks to the extremely 'long' break that i got between my exams and summers (2 WHOLE DAYS), my homesickness has increased exponentially.

Strangely, today it was a different feeling though; wasn't the regular 'Miss my folks', 'Miss my friends' homesickness.
Just jotted down what I missed today (and over the past few months):

-My Girlfriend :) :) (With a TVS Victor - name tag :) :)
-My TT practice session
-My bean bag (which was the culprit behind my '33' - waist size (to be taken in past tense)
-My Casio Keyboard (The neighbours are happy though :o)
-7 am breakfast with piping hot ghee-masala dosas at Sidappa's and Chikkanna'
-Weekend visits to Blossoms book house
- Amoeba bowling alley (and beating Hari comprehensively :P :P)
- My Super-Fast BSNL broadband connection
- My neighbourhood library
- Mafia sessions at MindTree
- TP @ MindTree :P :P
- Speaking in Kannada (currently, I'm in a bad shape - I am bad at English, I don't know Hindi and I'm forgetting/gotten Kannada
- My set of Tinkle and Indrajal comics
- World Space radio

I cannot go on any further... the list is never ending...

Boo Hoo... 2 more months...

Not So Entertaining

Why do people try to pi*s me off everytime...



Well... I'm not interested.. nor am I entertained...

Holi-day

Played Holi today. Calling it 'played' would be an understatement.
Was dragged out of my room at around 10.30 am. (Joshi - my roomie categorically told me that t-shirts were being ripped apart. He saved one t-shirt of mine as I decided to go bare chested).
Was given 5 whiplashes (the whip being a banian soaked in all sorts of colors).
Joshi again saved me by warning me that people who had applied oil to their body would be scrubbed with 'rin' before being doused with colours.

Some 'sane' bloke got this wonderful idea of creating a 'Nagraj' out of me. God knows what the mixture was (it smelt like a mixture of paint and grease), but its application on me rendered a face that would have given an African a run for his money.

Took me 5 scrubbings, once with a brush that is used for washing clothes, to get rid of one layer of color.

Resembled a kindergarten kid's coloring book gone bad..

Played holi at 10pm again, this time, with the gals around. Thankfully no nasty colours this time, one wash and everything was off...

It was fun all in all... (barring the post-holi bathing)... Waiting eagerly for '10 Holi..

Lucky Day

Had a bit of a lucky day today... Just managed to scrape through all rounds of Antakshari before hitting form in the final round... Managed to lose the toss as well in the final round, which actually proved to be a blessing in disguise in terms of the questions... Got 'masakali' in the dumb c round which was a sitter...
Was lucky enough to scrape through JAM finals through a series of objections...
Was lucky to get movies like Shawshank Redemption, events like Euphoria and personalities like Pranoy Roy in the final round of pot pourrie...
8th of March wasn't so bad after all... :) :)

Nice. I finally believe in something called 'luck'

A heaven named Woodlands...

Am too bored to blog... Infact too bored to do anything at all, right now...
Just returned from heaven... I din't know that heaven had an alias - 'Hotel Woodlands - Juhu'... Vaibhav, the broke soul, had to convince himself that the hostel mess food was 'nutritious' and 'tasty'... Of course, his credit history ain't that good for any of us to be lending him any money.. :) :)

Found a very cute kiddo in the hotel... just felt like beating up the parents (for cheap thrills) .. and then direct a movie called "Beat The Parents"...

Now on a novel reading spree...
Just done with Eric Segal's "Love Story" - It wasn't all that bad... Well, in hindsight, it was a good book...Shetty was right (for a change) :) :)
Gotto read "Prisoner of Birth" and "Gates of Fire" simultaneously.. Got Dirk Gently waiting in the pipeline with "India's Bismarck" as well... God help me in my third trimester exams...

Yet Another Arbit Post...

Binged on rice today... Found some Restaurant called 'Woodlands' that had pics of 'Taranga' for display (that too in the heart of Juhu)... Nice... Had enough lunch to skip dinner... Bisibele bath was great as well...

Created 'FabCare/FabKare/ whatever, today'... Main features
- Washing clothes in Juhu Beach
- B-plan that made losses, not profits
- Realizing our dreams through your money (
- Delivery vans with the photos of the creators (B-I-O-S)
- Chairs in a laundry shop to 'entice' old people (whoa)

I think the excess-rice finally got to me..

Arbit Post

Just found out the purpose of my existence (for those who don't know read Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy) in the Corporate Strategy session today. There are 5000 varieties of cheese and I've just tasted 3 of them!!! So... 4997 to go and a whole lifetime ahead!!

Had been to Churchgate to meet Dad. He took me out to a couple of good "South Indian" restaurants. (And promptly regretted it). I acted like a malnourished kid being fed by a social worker (well, I couldn't have acted like one as it was a genuine case)

WHAT THE !!!*&^^%%^$^$

I AM PISSED!! Pissed with AB's baby. Pissed with a certain Ramprakash Omprakash Mehra whatever. Pissed off with a Moto Rockr phone. Pissed off with a stupid pigeon that
hogs more than 5 minutes of screen time.

I mean, come on, which insane moron could put Abhishek Bacchan in the lead role... The only role that suited Abhishek, was that in Dostana (where he was a natural)... Oh..And all the other roles where he dies in Scene 1 - (Good riddance) and the rest of the movie is carried through by other actors. (More about the death part later).Whenever there is Abhishek starring in a movie, you can observe the side actors / actresses, the trees, the backdrops and u'll find their acting better than his. Though it is quite amazing that he can pull off any role by portraying a constipated look.

I am so pissed with this movie called Delhi-6 that i actually began to like "Ghajini"!!!! Whoa!!! "The Ghajini". Infact, Delhi-6 makes Ghajini look like a sensible, well-crafted, enjoyable movie!!!! (More Whoa!!!) (Eyebrows, registering shock, raised so high that they are touching the back of my head)!!!

Another funny part of this movie (unintentional on the part of the director though). Abhishek ATTEMPTING to speak English!!!! And that too with a foreign accent. (Someone should tell him that he needs to work more on his tribal language first, which mostly sounds like Jhingalala Ho, Jhingala Ho, Hur, Hur; before making an attempt to speak ENGLISSSS). Tell you what; AB's baby is a Software Engineer who is on a BIG BIG BENCH!! Who else would come from America and stay indefinitely in India without having any plans of going back...

Right through the first half of the movie, uncle (read as AB's baby) roams around advertising his Moto phone. (Again, Moto has been stupid enough to retain him as a brand ambassador even after they've closed down operations in India. Duh!!!! I diint know that they were dumb enough not to identify that he was the cause for their brand failure in India. I mean, which sane guy would buy a Moto phone that AB's baby endorses!!! Hail India - the land where sensible people
live)

I still haven't been able to figure out what the director was trying to prove by stretching a 5 min movie to over 3 hours. Bugger doesn't have any sense of time. The most important part of the movie, and incidentally, the most entertaining part (where AB's baby was lynched by a thoughtful mob) lasted just for 5 min. I had offered to pay Su and the rest of the junta, Rs 10 (out of sheer joy) if AB's baby died in the movie;Rs 100 if he had died in the beginning of the movie. Though I was disappointed that neither happened, I did shell out 10 bucks when they beat the hell out of him. (God, How i hope that the filming of this scene was real)

Now to that godda*n pigeon. Masakali. Why...why..why, pray, does someone have to name that stupid pigeon Masakali and all it does it walk around here and there without adding value.. heck..had it atleast done what it can do best (leave bird-droppings) on the so called Hero's head, I wouldn't have objected for its existence in the movie.

Oh... I'd mentioned that AB's baby hits on Rishi Kapoor as well.. (Which is why I said he was a natural in Dostana).. Sample this: "You know, you are a very good looking guy" followed by "I am from America". I mean, how can anyone (anyone but AB's baby) call that obese, old, white-haired Rishi Kapoor "good looking"???!!!!!

Now for the 4 best parts of the movie:

1. The sensible mob lynching AB's baby.

2. The 5 mins i missed out during the interval buying popcorn. (I realized the importance of having spent those 5 minutes in a productive manner).

3. Sonam Kapoor - The only other value-add (apart from the popcorn) that prevented me from leaving the theater midway (and not shouting obscenities during the course of the movie).

3. Writing this blog after the movie.

And what pissed/pisses me off more than Delhi-6? Vaibhav spilling more than half of my popcorn!!!

P.S. I'm coming out with a new movie called Bangalore - 78 (if that guy can make a stupid 3 hour movie after a Pin code of Delhi, why cant I make a full fledged Kyunki Saas Bhi Kabhi Bahu Thi series with Bangalore?)

P.P.S. Sagar (aka Subbu) came up with this brilliant status msg (very apt as well) which left me in splits. I've taken all necessary permissions from him to upload this as a part of my revised post - Sagar.Leo says : "gosh!! had their will prevailed, d monkeys livin at 110006 wud hv sued AB2 4 portrayin kala bandar"

P.P.P.S Roopam's status msg..another killer status msg...everyone seems to be in form "LATEst on "Bandar mania" :-- Monkey man has been spotted living in PEACE at Jalsa,Juhu,Mumbai-400049 ...wen he gets bored,he does however fly/leap to delhi-(11000)6 and terrorises innocents ;)"

Mercury Rising...

Phooey... Nearly 3 months since my previous post.
Truth: I was so busy with college and studies that I din't have the 'time' to blog. (DUH!!!)
Lies: All me do in college is play DC (dumb charades) and do time-pass. Me a lazy moron and me dint feel like signing into blogger. Ergo, no posts from the past 3 months.

Fahrenheit (the inter-div competion) at NM just got over today and me writes about what me saw/perceived (D'oh!!! No OB jargon allowed in my blog) @ Fahrenheit.

Here's just a brief intro about the entire Div C: 60 odd bunch of supremely talented individuals, each unique. Love to jabber-jabber a lot post 2pm and consider 9am - 2pm as the hibernating period. Droopy eyes, dreamy looks characterize these bunch of wierdos (including myself) during the first half of the day. It's the second half of the day when the 'other side' of this bunch can be seen. Can eat a chocolate ice cream topped cake (mmmmmm..Chocolate..mmmmmmmm) in record time. (Err... 'Eat' wouldn't exactly be the right word here... Devour would probably fit in).

Aaargh.. digressing too much from the topic. I'll write about this whole fahrenheit thingie in truth/lies fashion. (This manner of writing was introduced by the co-author of the blog http://jobless-dot-org.blogspot.com/. All copyrights reserved).

Truth: Lady luck was with Div C. Hence it won fahrenheit.
Lies: As I mentioned above, Div C has a set of 'supremely' talented individuals. And when this pool of inherent talent come together, there's nothing stopping them.

Truth: Div C won by a whisker.
Lies: Clean Sweep of Fahrenheit 2008. The others were competing for the 2nd and 3rd spot. I don't expect this kind of a performance to be repeated in the years to come. (Unless the current members of this section participate). The score of Div C (200) was much more than the sum total of the 2nd and 3rd teams put together. (100+90).

Truth: There was lack of co-ordination in Div C.
Lies: OB, Individual dynamics, team-work etc etc shouldn't be taught in class. All they had to do was watch Div C's performance in Fahrenheit.

Truth: The competitors were just peers.
Lies: The seniors and juniors of all the divisions of MBA-Core and MBA-sectoral combined, couldn't match upto the might of a certain Div C, of which most of the contribution came from the junior batch.

Truth : Div C sneaked in a few points here and there and managed to win the first prize
Lies: Mad-Ads - 1st, Dumb C - 1st, JAM - 1st, Poster Making - 1st, Antakshari - 1st, Light Indian Music -2nd, Movie-Spoof - 3rd, Choreo - 3rd, Gas-o-meter - 3rd. That was like, 9 out of 10 events. Do I need to say more???

Truth: Div C won by cheating
Lies: DUH. Losers have excuses for everything. They blame the position of the moon, the stars and even the vada pav outside the college for their loss. I've got one statement for most of the others who say that div C won by cheating - "People inside glasshouses shouldn't throw stones at others".

Truth: Div C won Fahrenheit.
Lies: Div C dint just win Fahrenheit. It won it COMPREHENSIVELY!!!

Div C ROKKKZZZZZZZZZZZ....

Vacation's over...

After nearly a 3 year honeymoon period in the IT industry (read as no-work), I get back to college once again..
I feel a sense of deja-vu after the first 10 days in college...

Here are some things which I revisit in my college life...

1. Sitting in the back bench
2. Switching back to Prepaid mode.
3. Trying to make new friends.
4. Finding the first friend in class and later realizing that he is a jackass.
5. Listening to friends rant about their crushes and girlfriends. And then giving them some 'crude' advice.
6. Bargaining with the local shop keeper for petty amounts.
7. Daily checking the balance of my mobile.
8. Asking a friend to return the 2Rs he had borrowed for coffee.
9. Going to the hotel, hogging like a pig, and leaving without tipping the waiter.
10. Having crushes on seniors but fearing their boyfriends.
11. Fudging an assignment from the studious people in class.
12. Dozing off in class and giving an understanding nod to the unsuspecting faculty at regular intervals.
13. Playing pranks on any arbitrary individual.
14. Laughing at anything and everything in the middle of a session.

...and some things which I am experiencing for the first time:
1. Hostel Life - I don't have something called a 'private life'. Added to that a factor of homesickness.
2. Ragging: Have been at the delivering end but never at the receiving end.
3. Washing clothes - God bless the inventor of the washing machine.
4. Living with 4 people in a single room.
5. Giving missed call to folks back home and waiting expectantly for them to call back.
6. Studying from day-1.
7. Going half-way to college after forgetting something and not getting a call from mom.
8. Speaking in Hindi for most part of the day. (Something at which I'm horribly bad and the cause of my non-participation in certain conversations when hard-core Hindi is used. My Hindi language is limited to "Arre yaar", "Kya", "Kyon","Kahan" and ofcourse the obscenities.)

3 mistakes of MY life

Before I start... Here's what a "Just Married.... ... ... To My New Lappie" status message could do to the no of people pinging you.. :) :)



Now, coming to the 3 Mistakes of my life:

Mistake #1: Reading Othla's post on http://chamaks.blogspot.com/2008/06/more-than-3-mistakes-of-my-life.html

Mistake #2: Writing a comment for the same.

Mistake #3: Writing this worthless post to highlight my previous 2 mistakes.

When Time Came to a standstill...

It was one of those bright sunny mornings - the ones that normally turn up after a Royal Challengers Bangalore victory, a rarity in itself. The day held no indication of the sequence of events that were to occur later in the day.

A hungry bunch of software proffessionals (with one ex-pro) set out to fulfil the signals sent by the stomach and their taste buds on this glorious morning. The trio waded through the exponentially increasing bangalore traffic, jumped traffic signals and cursed fellow motorists on the way to, what one can describe as, a foodie's heaven.

A 20 minute wait in the queue to enter Pattapatti Sidappa's house boosted the trio's appetite with one of them being a regular, one a future customer for life and the third one a newbie. While the omni-present "Kumaranna" served one "tuppa-khali" after another, the hungry lads munched on.

2 idlis, 2 tuppa khalis and one half-rice later, the unthinkable and un-imaginable happened.

The arrival of the half masala-dosas for the trio brought salivating, eye-popping stares from the fellow customers. While the regular and the would-be-customer-for-life gleefully offered their plates to devour the much awaited half-masala, the newbie placed his hand half an inch above his plate signalling his denial for the half-masala. (half-masala at Siddappa: The third greatest invention of all time, with the first being "Pappu" and the second being "i-Pod").

Time came to a standstill, the earth stopped rotating on it's axis, bandes started thinking, software engineers started working and several other impossible things happened all at once. This gesture brought about stares so vicious, the stares that could've burnt houses from the fellow customers. Some of them had expressions on their faces which displayed a host of emotions, from anger to surprise, all at the same time. Kumaranna himself was the most surprised of the lot and muttered an unmistakable "D'oh". Till date, no one had ever, ever, refused a half-masala at Sidappa!!! The only happy person was the lady sitting next to the newbie, who literally pounced on the dosa before the newbie could change his mind.

The newbie tried to make amends by apologizing and devouring another half-masala (which arrived 20 mins later) but the damage had been done. Mankind would never be the same again.

Interesting story, wasn't it? It most definitely wasn't a fictitious one - a story based on three lives which would never remain the same thereafter. The regular - Karthik MV, the future-customer-for-life : Myself and the newbie (and the anti-hero) of this story - Sarang.

People say life goes on, but this act will have significant impact on the lives of these three. For Karthik, he will never be treated again with the same respect at Sidappa; Sarang: Shrinks have already started analysing the various causes that might have led him to do the un-thinkable and for me: I'm still pissed-off that the half-masala went to the lady on the other side of Sarang and not to me.

Planet Of the APES

'Tis been a month and half since I've posted something worthless. In other words, I've been accumulating truckloads of bullcr@p that I can dump on unsuspecting individuals who happen to visit this blog either by chance or 'coz of repeated nagging from moi. Me has always believed that some people can be extraordinary jackasses and me plans to enlighten more people about that. (Dont be surprised if you see a halo after reading this post).

Recently, I had to visit Mumbai for some reason that can be classified underSection2320923 of IPC. And for that, me had to book a two way flight from B'lore to Mumbai. Me return flight was at 8.30pm from Mumbai and it got cancelled. (Thanks to that I was offered FREE dinner at the OBEROI!!!!!). As a result of this, i was offloaded to some other International Flight that happened to be passing by Mumbai. The point to be noted here is that the flight was at 3am.(Me has never seen that time of the day).

Sitting at the airport I happened to chance upon a couple of weirdos who could be preserved and displayed in some museum. Sample this:

Airport Authority (at the flight boarding gate): "Ahmedabad, Ahmedabad, Ahmedabad!!!"
(Now those of you who've visited the Majestic Bus Stand in B'lore will know the kind of tone that I am referring to).
And here's what our pal had to say to all those passengers who were entering that terminal after their security checks and passport stampings: "Ahmedabad, Ahmedabad??" (in a questioning tone).
Me thinks: "DUDE, what the Fudge is the Public Announcement System for?!!!@#&%$#*"

And just as I thought that this was the limit, in comes Mr Smarty Pants, well dressed, carrying a laptop bag.

Airport Authority: "Ahmedabad?"
Smarty Pants : "Haan.. Ready Hai???"
Me mutter to myself: (with the choicest of swear words): "What the *&%$!!!! Do you have an option to take another flight. Heck, this aint a bus stand where you take a bus that's ready to leave, birdbrain. (More curse words)."

And mind you, all this is happening at 2am at an "International Airport"!!!

If you think that's all, hang on, there is more in store. Me boards flight, me promptly drifts into slumber.
Suddenly, me feel something shaking. Then me realize that the something is my body and some external force is applying pressure to shake me body. Me wake up groggy eyed only to see an air-host (NOTE: not an air-hostess).

Me: "Have we arrived?"
Air-"Host" - " No Sir, here's your snack"
Me check time: 4.00 am (!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!)
At un-earthly hours, me brain doesn't function properly and cannot recollect swear words. So, thanks to the short-circuiting of some of the nerves in my brain, me uttered some curse words that sounded something like this: "htryl garb bwjel ajworyw ereradfa"
Me thinks at least me will have snack: Me open box and me find 2 slices of bread which half a slice of cheese in between and a visiting card that says "We hand-pick the choicest of food for our invaluable customers"
Me pished big-time.

Now, moving away from the airport incident(s), me was going to work and me found this instruction written on a government building "DO NOT URINATE". Me being a simpleton and a person who does not want to get into the wrong side of the law, promptly decided to obey this order issued by the government. It so happened that my biological system is least concerned about the Indian Laws and me had to break the law after me controlled myself from urinating for over 4 hours. (The police are probably on the lookout for me now). Me thinks that the instruction should've been "Do not urinate HERE", but who knows, me is an uneducated duffer and me takes little or no interest in local affairs.

Sample another one: Here's a direction finder board that displayed in big bold letters on JC Road:

K.R Market Majestic Richmond Road



As far as I know, one could reach majestic by going straight ahead instead of digging and going underground!!!

With that, i've dumped all the bullcr#p that had existed in my system for a month and a half.

Before I sign off, here's a killer one:
Gyan on the back-side of autorickshaw: "LIFE IS DRAMA. MAN IS ACTOR"
Me: "D-U-H!!!!!!"

Native Hangover

Back to Bloggyland after a seemingly long period of inactivity. (Read as Non-availability of topics).

First of all, I would like to offer my tribute to the person who, though technically speaking was not my grandmother, was as doting as my other Grannies. I feel a stab of pain when I recollect some fond memories of her... And a pang of guilt surges as I could not be beside her when she breathed her last. May Rohinakka's soul R.I.P.

Secondly, I doff my hat to iPod, the second greatest (i really mean greatest) invention of all time, the first being "Pappu" (A delicacy made out of Dal, available at Andhra Style restaurants... Slurrp...Slurrp).

Back to my post. Me just returned back from Tirthalli and it's taking some time for me to return to normalcy. I could safely say that the past 3-4 days were some of the best-est days of my recent times. I could describe the trip in 6 words flat (not counting the hyphens): Eat-Sleep-Eat-Sleep-More Sleep. In the process, I haven't done anything good to my ever increasing waist size. I might add that there were few instances of sheer lunacy (good enough to get us admitted into Ashok mama's hospital) that fit into this eat-sleep cycle.

Sample this: Sitting in the crowded hotel-beside-the-busstop at Tirthalli and ordering North Indian Delicacies that I/we (read as Dharmashree Rao and your's truly) haven't tried in B'lore. (Disclaimer: They were delicious). Whilst waiting for our order, singing loudly enough to have attracted attention from say, half of tirthalli. (P.S. Anushree and Nidhi were really dignified in their behavior. From the corner of my eye, i could see them trying to disassociate themselves from us).

Or this : 4 of us fatsos (fatso would be an understatement) squeezing into a bed (that was made for a 1 normal size person or at max 2 really really thin people) and successfully dozing off for about 3 hours. The pic should prove that I'm not exaggerating.

How bout this: Going to the TTH (TTH - ThirThaHalli) bus stand on Sunday morning with all bag and baggage ready to go back to B'lore/M'lore and then just before boarding the bus changing our mind, deciding to stay back for another day, sending back our bags with a stunned-Duttumama (He was all set to get rid of us.. hehehe) and then boarding the same bus to go to Bhadravati instead to visit Jayashree Doddamma. And if you think that was all, hang on... Singing our way to glory in a bus full of townsfolk and attracting "you-must-be-from-outerspace" looks.

Or going to a Mallu restaurant in Shimoga!!!!!! (Wowow... Mallus even in Shimoga!!!!! And of all places we had to go there!!!) and ordering a "Cocke" (I mean "Coke"). Can it get any worse??(Disclaimer: I dont mean any disrespect to Mallus, but they're there just about, say, everywhere).

Enough said, let me get to the actual post.(I'm assuming that the readers have managed upto this point painstakingly). When me thinks of me childhood, the first thing that comes to me mind is TTH. A haven of fun and frolic...I've never spent a boring day in TTh. From times immemorial (immemorial atleast to me), me has always looked forward to go to what others call "native" and what I call "home away from home". And each time I go there I remember some of the wonderful times I've had with my cousins (In descending order: Ganeshanna, Shilpakka, Madhavanna, Dharmashree Akka, Shruthi, Dharmaraj, Anushree and Nidhi), my uncles and aunts who have been surrogate parents to me when i've been there( 'm reallly really lucky - and I thank my stars for having such wonderful relatives. Note: 'Wonderful' would really be an understatement). From making paper boats (using Kodachaadri newspaper) to eating Gobi Manchuri at 10pm sitting on the bridge, I can just say "Been there...Done That".

Recollecting some of the noteworthy incidents at Tirthalli:
-> Walking all the way to Koppa circle under the scorching sun, all for a Maaza, and then getting conned. (Ganeshanna, you owe us one. :D :D).
-> Having a stone throwing competition at Kalsaara, and then getting blasted left, right and center by a lady.
-> Playing hide and seek behind the pillars and getting Madhavanna Out. (The modus operandi was scream "Madhavanna, there is something behind you" and voila he used to run from his hiding place).
-> Sleeping on the "Upparige" Joola oblivious to the entire outside world.
-> Feeding(should I say overfeeding) a cow to the point of indigestion.
-> Duttumama's jokes... (Chit Chaat Chataal , Guddi Guddi etc).
-> Maralugudde. (Can write a post on that, but will restrict myself).
-> And lots more. (Thanks to my memory I haven't been able to recollect all of them. Please do leave a comment of your memorable incidents).

And each time I leave from the place (or about to leave from the place), this is the feeling:
"Yeh Ghadi Na Jaaye Beet" (Song: Aa laut ke aaja, Movie: Rani Roopmati).

Me thinks if there is any place called Heaven, it has to be at this house by the riverside in this small town called Kuruvalli. I rest my case.

TPGPL Reloaded!!!!!

TPGPL is back with a bang!!!! Today's meeting just proved that...
Anyways, for those of you who've forgotten... Here is a re-introduction of the key-members

CEO Tiger aka "Hemanth":

Claim to Fame: Poli Maathugalu...FreshhandHonest
Quotable Quotes: "Nin hendt....... kodtiya???? Bejar madkollalla...loafer nan magane" (I was at the recieving end :( )

CTO Bande aka "Deepak"

Claim to Fame: Allah ke bande
Quotable Quotes: "Toota toota ek saaman aise toota..."

CFO Kunta aka "Sriram"

Claim to Fame: (In)Famous jump from 5-point something wall, Vagator, Goa / Irrepairable 15 degree bend in left ankle.
Quotable Quotes: "Yamma... Yeno haikonde"

COO Mallu Boy aka "Sharath"

Claim to Fame: Adda
Quotable Quotes: "Adda" / "Ooo f**k" (before falling from bike)

HR BM aka "Bhargav"

Claim to Fame: Darshini, K.R. Circle, Bangalore.
Quotable Quotes: "Sss side ge hogu"

Recently deposed CEO Gay aka Students aka "Hari"

Claim to Fame: Mock Interview
Quotable Quotes: "Steve Waugh bowling mettage baratte.... aaadre pace iratte"

Bladebubba Nachi

Claim to Fame: Bubbalogue
Quotable Quote: Request the rest of the members to fill in

Software Engineers Mom aka Nish

Claim to Fame: Pondi in Placement Office
Quotable Quote: "1 year celibacy..."

Shetty

Claim to Fame: Yet to come
Quotable Quote: "Mmmdddiga".

Request others to post similar intros...

Living in a fantasy land

I was planning to gather info for this post and upload it later in the day but this thought struck me suddenly.
Reading a novel akin to Harry Potter, or atleast of the same genre of books, fantasy fiction, got me into thinking about how we wish to live in a deluded world. As I delved more, I found out that these books give you an out of the world experience, an experience which is truly implausible. It is no wonder they are called 'fantasy fiction'. People who haven't read such books might demur at these suggestions and term the others as demented but living in the fantasy world is a lot better than the actual world. The good part about these books is that there are no parallel stories and they are all part of a complex plot.

Most of these stories contain a protagonist who is still in school (the children's fantasy fiction) and has a prophecy made in his name which he/she must fulfil or die trying. There is of course the antagonist who acts as a demoniac. The hero of the book must descry various objects hidden or sometimes even encounter them during the course of his journey to fulfil his prophecy. Most often, the hero is deprived of desideratum in his childhood and sometimes considered as despicable by his peers.

To Be Continued...

Getting Quizzical Pt 2

I tried to aggrandize my existing general knowledge in the past few weeks unsuccessfully. After round 3 i was muttering to myself.."Atleast some of the questions were trite"... Added to that, i had to sit in one place. Having played a truant all my life, this was one place i couldn't excuse myself out.
All the initial hype just turned out to be trumpery. Round 4, 5 and 6 were our rounds as all the turgid questions reduced and the torpor of our team seemed to have vanished. Though these rounds were tortuous, we had answers for most of the quesions. We traiped about answering most and agglomerating a lot of points thus building a healthy lead over the rest of the pack, second only to the top scorers. But then tocsins began to ring as the other teams closed in on the gap and we were unfortunate not to have got a few easy questions our way.
We ended up fourth but still that was a good show considering our start... I can describe the events into a tome but i restrict myself here as i'm feelign quite torpid.. :)

Getting Quizzical

Ok, I am back with the "A Post A Day"...
Today's post describes an area of extra-curricular activity that i'm not good at... i.e. general knowledge...and quizzing has never been my forte... Thanks to being cooped up in my house and watching cartoon network all the time, I thought that my GK had hit rock bottom. But yesterday's quiz finals showed that there is some vestige.

Flash back to my office near Kengeri, a couple of weeks back, there was an announcement that there would be a general quiz contest. A few fellow timepass seekers and I formed a team - "Yakke"... "Yakkow" would've sounded better but sounded too raspy. Expecting a lot of recondite questions as the no of teams were high, we participated for timepass. By a quirk of fate, we got the easiest of questions...well, questions to which we knew the answers. We 'topped' the prelims and were termed as rubber champions, though i'm not sure why we got that tag. Now that left me in a quandary as I neither have/had the quizzing abilities nor did I brush up on my non-existent GK to add value to the team. After a dismal performance in round 2, we had no hopes of qualifying for the finals. Lady luck smiled on us twice and we just managed to scrape through to the finals.

Now, I dint want to go to the finals and get pummelled. Neither did i want to be branded as pusillanimous. Mustering courage I went there and took my seat next to some of the putative(reputed) quizzing giants. I was hoping to purloin some points here and there by hook or crook. After the first three rounds, our team was yet to open the account thanks to some really shoddy answering by your's truly. Added to that, some very easy questions were on the offering and they were devoured by the other teams. But such is the pulchritude of quiz. I had this puerile urge to go and erase all the points on the board so that the quiz would restart and hopefully i could gain a few points.

To Be Continued...