Err...Ummm...Well...This idea is a rip off of one of my friends' posts...(He has restaurant reviews to his credit).. But, duh, this one is better...I mean the entire blog... No offense meant Meese Mama (Meese: A derogatory term in kannada for hair on unwanted parts of your body like the face)...
Book: DETECTIVE
Author: Arthur Hailey
Plot: Nothing very specific. Gives you the description of the daily life of a detective. And yes, he takes one serial killing case to illustrate this. Extremely well written. The description of the killings are gory. Not advisable for children. Absolutely no loopholes. Hailey manages to link all the sub plots convincingly.
My take: MUST READ.
Rating: ****
High Profile Readers' Comments: "A sizzling read!A Hailey Masterpiece!!!!" - Bhargav
Friday, February 09, 2007
Wednesday, February 07, 2007
THE NAME IS DON, SHELDON
Last week one of the greatest ever novelists passed away and this post is to pay my last respects to a prolific storyteller and one of my favorite authors.
There was a poll in the TOI on the next day after his death. I was quite surprised to see the 5 books, TOI thought were the best:
1. Rage of Angels
2. Sands of Time
3. Master of the Game
4. The Naked Face
5. Dont remember the name.
For all I know, these were by no means the best books by Sheldon. Not to sound immodest, but either my knowledge of fiction is poor, or TOI (times of india) has a crappy taste....How could they have missed out bestsellers like Windmills of the Gods (which created Angel - the best assasin in the whole wide world), or If Tomorrow Comes (Forgot the name of the protagonist, but she was one helluva con), or The Doomsday Conspiracy(My favorite and till date I consider many other books to be based with a similar storyline...IceStation(Matthew Reilly) and DigitalFortress(Dan Brown) included), or Tell Me Your Dreams(a tale well spun around Multiple Personality Disorder) or the GOD book - The Other Side of Midnight and it's GOD sequel - Memories of Midnight (I'm sure the character of Napolean Chotas would linger in the readers' minds).
I pay my last respects to the man, whose books made me switch from Hardy Boys to serious fiction.
May his soul R.I.P
There was a poll in the TOI on the next day after his death. I was quite surprised to see the 5 books, TOI thought were the best:
1. Rage of Angels
2. Sands of Time
3. Master of the Game
4. The Naked Face
5. Dont remember the name.
For all I know, these were by no means the best books by Sheldon. Not to sound immodest, but either my knowledge of fiction is poor, or TOI (times of india) has a crappy taste....How could they have missed out bestsellers like Windmills of the Gods (which created Angel - the best assasin in the whole wide world), or If Tomorrow Comes (Forgot the name of the protagonist, but she was one helluva con), or The Doomsday Conspiracy(My favorite and till date I consider many other books to be based with a similar storyline...IceStation(Matthew Reilly) and DigitalFortress(Dan Brown) included), or Tell Me Your Dreams(a tale well spun around Multiple Personality Disorder) or the GOD book - The Other Side of Midnight and it's GOD sequel - Memories of Midnight (I'm sure the character of Napolean Chotas would linger in the readers' minds).
I pay my last respects to the man, whose books made me switch from Hardy Boys to serious fiction.
May his soul R.I.P
Thursday, January 25, 2007
PANTHER ATTACKED!!!!!
What an outrageous thing to happen. Especially when they are endangered species. PETA must've started the protests by now. GODDAMMIT. It wasn't a 'PANTHER' it was 'PANDHER'. HAMBURGER. There is a conference room with a TV quite close to my cubicle (if you can call it a cubicle) and they are showing this footage of PANDHER being assaulted.
FAGS... Every single one of them... I'm not talking about PANDHER or PANTHER or whoever. I'm cursing the TV operator who is glued to TIMES NOW. I mean which sane person on earth watches TIMES NOW when you've got a whole lot of steamy commercials being aired on AXN.
The next set of goddamn ba****rds are these TIMES NOW journalists who are running and re-running the footage of Pandher being assaulted. I wonder if they are trying to get some sympathy votes for him. Or even worse, Ram Jethmalani might probably consider defending him. (That would just be the last straw: Ram Jethmalani calling Pandher a symbol of peace and a person who loves children just as he did while he defended that pot-smoking goddamn crunkie - Manu Whatever). Of course Pandher does love children, but not in the sense we are talking about. Or we could probably have that dickhead Jaffer Sharief taking out a procession in the communally (in)sensitive Shivajinagar to protest the inhuman treatment meted out to him by RSS (I don't know the connection between RSS and Pandher or his henchman Koli). Heck, that guy is a goddamn necrophiliac and a future politician (a successful one as well), so why show him in good light. For god's sake, that guy deserves a gruesome death penalty.. If possible pluck his fingers one by one and leave him to die a painful death.
I've still not recovered from the much hyped Ash-AB wedding (read Hari's blog on Aish set to marry AB's baby), or the Shilpa Shetty racism issue (dont Read Kunta's take on racism) and now this. (There is a storm brewing with Hema Malini's controversial comments as well).
I guess this is all a part of a big conspiracy to stop me from watching television.
I repeat...GODDAMN FAGS...EVERY SINGLE ONE OF THEM!!!!!
FAGS... Every single one of them... I'm not talking about PANDHER or PANTHER or whoever. I'm cursing the TV operator who is glued to TIMES NOW. I mean which sane person on earth watches TIMES NOW when you've got a whole lot of steamy commercials being aired on AXN.
The next set of goddamn ba****rds are these TIMES NOW journalists who are running and re-running the footage of Pandher being assaulted. I wonder if they are trying to get some sympathy votes for him. Or even worse, Ram Jethmalani might probably consider defending him. (That would just be the last straw: Ram Jethmalani calling Pandher a symbol of peace and a person who loves children just as he did while he defended that pot-smoking goddamn crunkie - Manu Whatever). Of course Pandher does love children, but not in the sense we are talking about. Or we could probably have that dickhead Jaffer Sharief taking out a procession in the communally (in)sensitive Shivajinagar to protest the inhuman treatment meted out to him by RSS (I don't know the connection between RSS and Pandher or his henchman Koli). Heck, that guy is a goddamn necrophiliac and a future politician (a successful one as well), so why show him in good light. For god's sake, that guy deserves a gruesome death penalty.. If possible pluck his fingers one by one and leave him to die a painful death.
I've still not recovered from the much hyped Ash-AB wedding (read Hari's blog on Aish set to marry AB's baby), or the Shilpa Shetty racism issue (dont Read Kunta's take on racism) and now this. (There is a storm brewing with Hema Malini's controversial comments as well).
I guess this is all a part of a big conspiracy to stop me from watching television.
I repeat...GODDAMN FAGS...EVERY SINGLE ONE OF THEM!!!!!
BOOKS,BOOKS 'N' MORE BOOKS
STATUTORY WARNING: If you are not a bookworm, or not one of those who like non-academic books, or one of those to whom I need to explain that "books" are not Extra-Terrestrial flying objects, please go the top right corner of this page. You will find a small box containing an 'X' mark. Please click on that to experience a magical effect. If you have any doubts related to reference books, then you may please keep them to yourself.
I spent a lot of time trying to figure out what I'm going to write about the books which have given me good company for most part of my 23 year old stay on Planet Earth. Please note that these books have got absolutely nothing to do with the ones they prescribe in school, college etc etc. (Heck I am not qualified enough to write about them).
Let me start off with the books that I read when I was ummm..well just about old enough to read them... Misha, Tinkle... These books rock till date... For those of you who don't know who Misha is, first of all Misha isn't a who, it is a what. One of the better things to happen to the USSR. I guess they found out about my addiction to Misha and hence USSR had to disintegrate. (Mebbe they dint want me to be the future editor of Misha) Dont know whether it still exists. Tinkle, champak and chandamama can be classified as classics.. Every single one of them.. Purists might like to point out that 'the Bard' Will Shakespeare's novels are classics, I say...Screw them... Oh and yes, Gokulam was equally good as well...It was the cheapest of the lot (available at Rs 3 way back in 1990), plus it featured the Undir stories.
I'm not sure as to how many would have of Indrajal Comics (no..no..they are not the ones which were made into Mithun Chakraborthy movies).. These were our good ol' Phantom, Superman, Garth, Mandrake... I'm willing to offer all my earnings to the person who can procure the entire set of these books.
Cut to my middle school when teenage detective novels were the hottest selling stuff around...Or at least I was addicted to them.. Hardy Boys and Nancy Drew... Sounds childish now..But back then, it was every youngster's dream to be a detective. There was a friend of mine who wanted to join CBI after reading Hardy Boys. The last time I heard from him, he was a software engineer... Oh...Please dont club The Three Investigators into the Hardy Boys - Nancy Drew league... That series was a class apart (specially the ones written by Alfred Hitchcock). For those of you who are wondering as to why I have included Enid Blyton in this list: She was a Englishwoman and hence I abstained from reading her novels. The truth: I was too busy playing 'gully' cricket and yes, 'Third term at Mallory Towers' wasn't the best Enid Blyton book to start off with.
After reading almost the entire Hardy Boys collection (during which time, my dad was on the verge of throwing me out of the house for spending Rs2 everyday on the hardy boys books which I used to daily borrow from the local library), there were a couple of years that I wasted reading academics (If i'm right, that was PU-1 and PU-2). To think of it, had I spent those two years fruitfully, I might have ended up adding few more authors to my collection of "I finished them" list.
Post PU it was Agatha Christie for almost the rest of the summer. AND THEN THERE WERE NONE, MURDER IN MESOPOTAMIA, MURDER OF ROGER ACKROYD, HICKORY DICKORY DOCK, POIROT's LAST CASE still give me sleepless nights... I'm not a fag... I dare anyone to read AND THEN THERE WERE NONE sitting all alone in a room, with no one at home on a dark, rainy night and sleep peacefully after reading it.
Sidney Sheldon's THE DOOMSDAY CONSPIRACY had me hooked on to his novels (yes, Sidney Sheldon is a HE and not a SHE). I've often said that DIGITAL FORTRESS (by Dan Brown) and other similar books have been cheap imitations of this Sheldon's thriller. Hari would disagree with me on this count. I almost forgot, except for the SANDS OF TIME, all his other books are must read books.
Speaking of the other must read books, Mario Puzo sure has delivered cult books GODFATHER, THE SICILIAN, OMERTA, LAST DON, FOURTH K being just some of them. And after reading all these books if you consider Mario Puzo as God, then please DONT read FOOLS DIE or THE FAMILY. Chances are that you might end up retching the food you ate weeks ago.
Colin Forbes is the easiest of all authors to plagiarize. Create an imaginary character called Tweed, who is human, has Chacha Chaudhary's brains, a side-kick assistant called Paula Gray, and some sidekick sharpshooter (called Marler), a reporter (Bob Newman) and keep running from Britain to Germany to France to Spain and back to Britain with this Tweed character trying to save the world from the evil forces. Also create an assasin(preferably the son or daughter of a Knight/Earl) who has the nickname of a 3 year old whose identity you should reveal at the end of the book. Refrain from using the 'F**K' word in your book and there you go. You can name yourself as Colin Forbes and start publishing.
John Grisham is one author who can be compared to our very own Vinod Kambli. He delivers brilliant bestselling novels like PELICAN BRIEF, CLIENT, THE PARTNER and whatnot and just as you are about to classify him as one of the best author's till date he comes up with equally pathetic novels like KING OF TORTS and THE INNOCENT MAN. Hamburger.
Michael Crichton is GOD. I cannot praise him further. For those of you who aren't familiar with his writings, start off with any book other than STATE OF FEAR.
Robert Ludlum, Fredrick Forsythe, Jack Higgins, Tom Clancy - Some of the world's best 'espionage' tale-spinners. Most of their novels are bestsellers. Having said that, Matthew Reilly's novels are the most fast-paced novels I've ever read. (If you doubt this statement of mine, read AREA-7).
I wont comment on JK Rowling. Awaiting her seventh book. Will dedicate an entire post to her.
Despite having read so many books, I feel that the world is divided into two categories:
Those who have read the HITCHHIKERS GUIDE TO THE GALAXY and those who haven't. The single greatest book to be ever written. I rest my case.
@All those who read my blog: I've left out a lot of big names here. Partially attributed to my failing memory and also due to the monotony of the blog. Also partially because I got bored typing. Please feel free to click on Comments-> Post a comment and type the rest of the names.
I spent a lot of time trying to figure out what I'm going to write about the books which have given me good company for most part of my 23 year old stay on Planet Earth. Please note that these books have got absolutely nothing to do with the ones they prescribe in school, college etc etc. (Heck I am not qualified enough to write about them).
Let me start off with the books that I read when I was ummm..well just about old enough to read them... Misha, Tinkle... These books rock till date... For those of you who don't know who Misha is, first of all Misha isn't a who, it is a what. One of the better things to happen to the USSR. I guess they found out about my addiction to Misha and hence USSR had to disintegrate. (Mebbe they dint want me to be the future editor of Misha) Dont know whether it still exists. Tinkle, champak and chandamama can be classified as classics.. Every single one of them.. Purists might like to point out that 'the Bard' Will Shakespeare's novels are classics, I say...Screw them... Oh and yes, Gokulam was equally good as well...It was the cheapest of the lot (available at Rs 3 way back in 1990), plus it featured the Undir stories.
I'm not sure as to how many would have of Indrajal Comics (no..no..they are not the ones which were made into Mithun Chakraborthy movies).. These were our good ol' Phantom, Superman, Garth, Mandrake... I'm willing to offer all my earnings to the person who can procure the entire set of these books.
Cut to my middle school when teenage detective novels were the hottest selling stuff around...Or at least I was addicted to them.. Hardy Boys and Nancy Drew... Sounds childish now..But back then, it was every youngster's dream to be a detective. There was a friend of mine who wanted to join CBI after reading Hardy Boys. The last time I heard from him, he was a software engineer... Oh...Please dont club The Three Investigators into the Hardy Boys - Nancy Drew league... That series was a class apart (specially the ones written by Alfred Hitchcock). For those of you who are wondering as to why I have included Enid Blyton in this list: She was a Englishwoman and hence I abstained from reading her novels. The truth: I was too busy playing 'gully' cricket and yes, 'Third term at Mallory Towers' wasn't the best Enid Blyton book to start off with.
After reading almost the entire Hardy Boys collection (during which time, my dad was on the verge of throwing me out of the house for spending Rs2 everyday on the hardy boys books which I used to daily borrow from the local library), there were a couple of years that I wasted reading academics (If i'm right, that was PU-1 and PU-2). To think of it, had I spent those two years fruitfully, I might have ended up adding few more authors to my collection of "I finished them" list.
Post PU it was Agatha Christie for almost the rest of the summer. AND THEN THERE WERE NONE, MURDER IN MESOPOTAMIA, MURDER OF ROGER ACKROYD, HICKORY DICKORY DOCK, POIROT's LAST CASE still give me sleepless nights... I'm not a fag... I dare anyone to read AND THEN THERE WERE NONE sitting all alone in a room, with no one at home on a dark, rainy night and sleep peacefully after reading it.
Sidney Sheldon's THE DOOMSDAY CONSPIRACY had me hooked on to his novels (yes, Sidney Sheldon is a HE and not a SHE). I've often said that DIGITAL FORTRESS (by Dan Brown) and other similar books have been cheap imitations of this Sheldon's thriller. Hari would disagree with me on this count. I almost forgot, except for the SANDS OF TIME, all his other books are must read books.
Speaking of the other must read books, Mario Puzo sure has delivered cult books GODFATHER, THE SICILIAN, OMERTA, LAST DON, FOURTH K being just some of them. And after reading all these books if you consider Mario Puzo as God, then please DONT read FOOLS DIE or THE FAMILY. Chances are that you might end up retching the food you ate weeks ago.
Colin Forbes is the easiest of all authors to plagiarize. Create an imaginary character called Tweed, who is human, has Chacha Chaudhary's brains, a side-kick assistant called Paula Gray, and some sidekick sharpshooter (called Marler), a reporter (Bob Newman) and keep running from Britain to Germany to France to Spain and back to Britain with this Tweed character trying to save the world from the evil forces. Also create an assasin(preferably the son or daughter of a Knight/Earl) who has the nickname of a 3 year old whose identity you should reveal at the end of the book. Refrain from using the 'F**K' word in your book and there you go. You can name yourself as Colin Forbes and start publishing.
John Grisham is one author who can be compared to our very own Vinod Kambli. He delivers brilliant bestselling novels like PELICAN BRIEF, CLIENT, THE PARTNER and whatnot and just as you are about to classify him as one of the best author's till date he comes up with equally pathetic novels like KING OF TORTS and THE INNOCENT MAN. Hamburger.
Michael Crichton is GOD. I cannot praise him further. For those of you who aren't familiar with his writings, start off with any book other than STATE OF FEAR.
Robert Ludlum, Fredrick Forsythe, Jack Higgins, Tom Clancy - Some of the world's best 'espionage' tale-spinners. Most of their novels are bestsellers. Having said that, Matthew Reilly's novels are the most fast-paced novels I've ever read. (If you doubt this statement of mine, read AREA-7).
I wont comment on JK Rowling. Awaiting her seventh book. Will dedicate an entire post to her.
Despite having read so many books, I feel that the world is divided into two categories:
Those who have read the HITCHHIKERS GUIDE TO THE GALAXY and those who haven't. The single greatest book to be ever written. I rest my case.
@All those who read my blog: I've left out a lot of big names here. Partially attributed to my failing memory and also due to the monotony of the blog. Also partially because I got bored typing. Please feel free to click on Comments-> Post a comment and type the rest of the names.
Saturday, January 06, 2007
TESTIMONIALS FOR ALL MY FRIENDS
People,
Contrary to my previous posts which actually did not mean whatever I'd written...
Here is a post that comes truly from thy heart and everything written here is intentional and is intended to be
personal (quite contrary to the "Nothing Personal about it..")...
Lemme cut the crap and get straight to the point...
Of all the "crappy" set of fags I've got as friends (Note: Statement used by kunta in reply to my previous post and
I put a disclaimer here) I thought it would be a nice gesture on my part if were to reveal a few of their traits/personality/behaviour/whatever to mankind. This is a goodwill gesture on my part to homosapiens, so that they
dont form any "first impressions" about these people.
Let me start with the femme fatales (with due respect to the people of the opposite sex) first:
Also, names have been changed to protect privacy.
1. Nish:
- Also known as Jane Bond.For details refer holyplanet.com. The others know what i'm refering to
- Associated with alternate streets, roads, etc
- Mother to most kids including me.
- One of the butt of our marriage jokes (read on to find the other one)
- Respects Bangalore muls and condemns Geralites. (Any takers????)
- Has a pact with Sriram. (watch F.R.I.E.N.D.S for more details)
2. Shett
- Huge fan of Aishwarya Rai and other similar people
- The other person i mentioned in the previous para.
- Anti-Bandes
- Anti-Congress
- Tries to maintain "miss two goody shoes" impression but fails miserably.
3. Nachi
- The very fact that I've included him in this category is sufficient.
Moving on to the "Macho Men"
1. Hari:
- Hates Muls
- Hates Hippies
- Hates Bongs
- Hates the rest of mankind
In that order
- Self proclaimed gay
2. Deepak:
- Biggest Bande Hater
- Eric cartman of the group. Need I say more
3. Kunta:
- Pro Bande
- Pro congress
- Semi Pro Communism
- Tweek of the first order
- Big Asshole
- Considered to be a fag by many including yours truly.
- Butt of most jokes (unknown to him though)
4. Sharath:
- Most punctual
- Has a trace of English accent (DISCLAIMER: I am quoting Hari)
- Will tell you more about him once I understand what he speaks. (Again, Quoting Hari)
5. Yours truly
- The floor is all yours. Go to Comments -> Post a comment and start typing..
6. Tiger: ASE - Aunty Social Element (Thanks deepak). As the name suggests, this dude has totally the hots for any lady above the age of 40. He loves them preferably b/w the age of 50 and 120.Has taken up every shitty exam under the sun and has done this just to kill time.Absolutely concerned on the livelyhood of others esp. taxi drivers, pani-puriwallas etc. Hates MNC's esp the food joints but a huge fan of Pizzas and burgers.
7)Bakra : Named so for the obvious reasons.Is the living example of the phrase "Horny as a trout". Always looking for opportunities for meeting girls and this can be in the most innappropriate of situations(ex: he will do this to a bride at her wedding)
Contrary to my previous posts which actually did not mean whatever I'd written...
Here is a post that comes truly from thy heart and everything written here is intentional and is intended to be
personal (quite contrary to the "Nothing Personal about it..")...
Lemme cut the crap and get straight to the point...
Of all the "crappy" set of fags I've got as friends (Note: Statement used by kunta in reply to my previous post and
I put a disclaimer here) I thought it would be a nice gesture on my part if were to reveal a few of their traits/personality/behaviour/whatever to mankind. This is a goodwill gesture on my part to homosapiens, so that they
dont form any "first impressions" about these people.
Let me start with the femme fatales (with due respect to the people of the opposite sex) first:
Also, names have been changed to protect privacy.
1. Nish:
- Also known as Jane Bond.For details refer holyplanet.com. The others know what i'm refering to
- Associated with alternate streets, roads, etc
- Mother to most kids including me.
- One of the butt of our marriage jokes (read on to find the other one)
- Respects Bangalore muls and condemns Geralites. (Any takers????)
- Has a pact with Sriram. (watch F.R.I.E.N.D.S for more details)
2. Shett
- Huge fan of Aishwarya Rai and other similar people
- The other person i mentioned in the previous para.
- Anti-Bandes
- Anti-Congress
- Tries to maintain "miss two goody shoes" impression but fails miserably.
3. Nachi
- The very fact that I've included him in this category is sufficient.
Moving on to the "Macho Men"
1. Hari:
- Hates Muls
- Hates Hippies
- Hates Bongs
- Hates the rest of mankind
In that order
- Self proclaimed gay
2. Deepak:
- Biggest Bande Hater
- Eric cartman of the group. Need I say more
3. Kunta:
- Pro Bande
- Pro congress
- Semi Pro Communism
- Tweek of the first order
- Big Asshole
- Considered to be a fag by many including yours truly.
- Butt of most jokes (unknown to him though)
4. Sharath:
- Most punctual
- Has a trace of English accent (DISCLAIMER: I am quoting Hari)
- Will tell you more about him once I understand what he speaks. (Again, Quoting Hari)
5. Yours truly
- The floor is all yours. Go to Comments -> Post a comment and start typing..
6. Tiger: ASE - Aunty Social Element (Thanks deepak). As the name suggests, this dude has totally the hots for any lady above the age of 40. He loves them preferably b/w the age of 50 and 120.Has taken up every shitty exam under the sun and has done this just to kill time.Absolutely concerned on the livelyhood of others esp. taxi drivers, pani-puriwallas etc. Hates MNC's esp the food joints but a huge fan of Pizzas and burgers.
7)Bakra : Named so for the obvious reasons.Is the living example of the phrase "Horny as a trout". Always looking for opportunities for meeting girls and this can be in the most innappropriate of situations(ex: he will do this to a bride at her wedding)
Friday, December 22, 2006
F.R.I.E.N.D.S FOREVER!
As I watch the code on my monitor with a sense of despair, my mind wanders to some of the conversation and some of the events that have taken place in my life of late. I'm not one of those who you would typically classify as a "sentimental" person. However, there are certain times when you happen to say whatever comes to your mind... I guess this is one of those times...
I WILL NOT put a disclaimer here asking people about their interests. This is dedicated to a special set of people and I request you to read on no matter how much you might curse me at the end of this! Enough of prelude, let me get straight to the point...
Last week when Hari, Kunta and myself were chatting away to glory at our regular Adda i.e McDonalds Cunningham road, we happened to just talk about the year 2017. (Dont remember the exact context). That was when Hari said "Dudes, we dont know where we are going to be 10 years from now". That statement did not hit me until I was just tossing around in one of those sleepless nights (Courtesy: KPTCL). It was then that I realized the fact that gone are the days of our hanging together, our "putting adda", chilling out on some "katte" and talking sense and nonsense(Nonsense including "How to better our Country").
I fondly remember those wonderful days when we used to meet up in someone's house and ravage all the junk food while pulling the leg of group's bakra. Or those days when we ended up spending more time planning for the movie than going and watching it. Or the eager anticipation for the start of the trip (read as countdown which one of us i.e. Sriram( name changed to protect privacy) used to spam us with).
There have been fights, mostly petty ones but I still smile thinking about all the "weird" things we've fought about. And lots of other things which I am not able to recollect currently... I guess Bryan Adams' Summer of '69 should sum it up: "Those were the best days of my life"...
If I were to just recollect those days, the specifics elude me but all I hear is the collective laughter and the feeling of being on top of the world. The rest is all an aberration. It might sound as if I'm an age old grandpa recollecting the events of the previous six decades. The truth is that we still do the same thing whatever I've mentioned in the previous para, but it is on the declining mode. We might not admit that we've all drifted apart, but deep down if you keep count of the number of times we've been "hanging out" in the recent past, the 10 fingers in our hands are sufficient.
In a short while from now, some of us will move on with our careers (switch jobs or go onsite), some of us will continue with studies(few have left and there are some who will be leaving), some of us will get married. I'm not an astrologer who can predict what the future holds in store for us, but all I know is that I might be meeting some of them for the last time. (Who knows, we might bump into each other sometime later).
I just want you to know that I will miss each of you very badly and it will be a void that cannot be refilled. I'm glad that I have such great friends... guys with whom i don't have to wear a mask on my personality... guys who don't judge me by my flaws... guys with whom I can share all my joys and sorrows... and guys who are the most level headed people...
Well, lots of people say that they've achieved a lot in their life and more often than not they are talking about fame or money or both. In such a short duration , I'm proud to have acquired a set of friends for whom I could pay all the money in the world just to relive those wonderful days, for whom I could die for!
All I want to say is that at any point in time, I will always be there for you!
I WILL NOT put a disclaimer here asking people about their interests. This is dedicated to a special set of people and I request you to read on no matter how much you might curse me at the end of this! Enough of prelude, let me get straight to the point...
Last week when Hari, Kunta and myself were chatting away to glory at our regular Adda i.e McDonalds Cunningham road, we happened to just talk about the year 2017. (Dont remember the exact context). That was when Hari said "Dudes, we dont know where we are going to be 10 years from now". That statement did not hit me until I was just tossing around in one of those sleepless nights (Courtesy: KPTCL). It was then that I realized the fact that gone are the days of our hanging together, our "putting adda", chilling out on some "katte" and talking sense and nonsense(Nonsense including "How to better our Country").
I fondly remember those wonderful days when we used to meet up in someone's house and ravage all the junk food while pulling the leg of group's bakra. Or those days when we ended up spending more time planning for the movie than going and watching it. Or the eager anticipation for the start of the trip (read as countdown which one of us i.e. Sriram( name changed to protect privacy) used to spam us with).
There have been fights, mostly petty ones but I still smile thinking about all the "weird" things we've fought about. And lots of other things which I am not able to recollect currently... I guess Bryan Adams' Summer of '69 should sum it up: "Those were the best days of my life"...
If I were to just recollect those days, the specifics elude me but all I hear is the collective laughter and the feeling of being on top of the world. The rest is all an aberration. It might sound as if I'm an age old grandpa recollecting the events of the previous six decades. The truth is that we still do the same thing whatever I've mentioned in the previous para, but it is on the declining mode. We might not admit that we've all drifted apart, but deep down if you keep count of the number of times we've been "hanging out" in the recent past, the 10 fingers in our hands are sufficient.
In a short while from now, some of us will move on with our careers (switch jobs or go onsite), some of us will continue with studies(few have left and there are some who will be leaving), some of us will get married. I'm not an astrologer who can predict what the future holds in store for us, but all I know is that I might be meeting some of them for the last time. (Who knows, we might bump into each other sometime later).
I just want you to know that I will miss each of you very badly and it will be a void that cannot be refilled. I'm glad that I have such great friends... guys with whom i don't have to wear a mask on my personality... guys who don't judge me by my flaws... guys with whom I can share all my joys and sorrows... and guys who are the most level headed people...
Well, lots of people say that they've achieved a lot in their life and more often than not they are talking about fame or money or both. In such a short duration , I'm proud to have acquired a set of friends for whom I could pay all the money in the world just to relive those wonderful days, for whom I could die for!
All I want to say is that at any point in time, I will always be there for you!
Sunday, November 26, 2006
AAAAA BALLZ
Dudes and Dudettes, request you to kindly ignore my earlier post on the Indian Cricket Team (mebbe I was sloshed when I wrote that). Anyways, here's my message to the individual members of the Cricket Team. Hope dept of posts hand delivers this to our "boys" who are getting f*&ked in the backside in some remote continent.
@Sehwag: I guess the milk you've been drinking isn't coming from the right sources. Try Amul milk next time.
@Kaif: Try for the 100m dash in some slum in your hometown. You might come second.
@Raina: Go study for your class IX exams
@Mongia: You must be a real ass-licker to still be in the team. I guess your tongue might be worn out by now after all the licking
@Dhoni: Mysore sandal soap isn't making you any fairer. Try Lux next time.
@Agarkar: Stand in front of the mirror and practice some emotions.
@Harbhajan: Try Rapidex English speaking course. Helps you to curse better.
@Pathan: Year's ago people termed you as a potent weapon with the ball. Dude, go watch some PORN. You're impotent!
@Dravid: No use mate, you need the other guys to perform as well. You can as well stay at home.
@Sachin: Dude, dont think I'm gonna call you the last crusader etc etc. YOU SUCK BIG TIME!
@Dada: Go Fu&K yourself!
@Any others in the team: Do some ads right away. This may be your last chance.
@Guru Greg: I've got two words for you "UP YOURS!"
Indian Cricket is Dead. Long Live Indian Cricket!
@Sehwag: I guess the milk you've been drinking isn't coming from the right sources. Try Amul milk next time.
@Kaif: Try for the 100m dash in some slum in your hometown. You might come second.
@Raina: Go study for your class IX exams
@Mongia: You must be a real ass-licker to still be in the team. I guess your tongue might be worn out by now after all the licking
@Dhoni: Mysore sandal soap isn't making you any fairer. Try Lux next time.
@Agarkar: Stand in front of the mirror and practice some emotions.
@Harbhajan: Try Rapidex English speaking course. Helps you to curse better.
@Pathan: Year's ago people termed you as a potent weapon with the ball. Dude, go watch some PORN. You're impotent!
@Dravid: No use mate, you need the other guys to perform as well. You can as well stay at home.
@Sachin: Dude, dont think I'm gonna call you the last crusader etc etc. YOU SUCK BIG TIME!
@Dada: Go Fu&K yourself!
@Any others in the team: Do some ads right away. This may be your last chance.
@Guru Greg: I've got two words for you "UP YOURS!"
Indian Cricket is Dead. Long Live Indian Cricket!
Thursday, November 09, 2006
MORE CONTRADICTIONS...
Contd From Part 1:
Recap: These two posts (check out the previous one as well) are dedicated to a good friend of mine (Harikrishnan S aka Students aka Arbitrary Hari).. He has been bestowed with the honorary Arbitrary title because of his ability to speak bullsh*t fluently. Only those close to him know that he is bullsh*tting while lesser mortals look at him in awe. Read on to know more about this genlte giant who is also a pukka a**hole.
I'll now relive those moments which saw arbitrary Hari transform into a man of contradictions (note that the steve waugh incident could also be considered for the same but the author has the right to change the roles as and when he likes).
Semester 6 exams had just ended and as usual the four of us (Deepak, Adarsh, Hari and myself) found ourselves in some deep sh*t courtesy the microcontroller paper which nearly left us in tears (DSP was also bad and so were the other 4 subjects, not to mention the labs). Only the 3 of us had been recruited by two "Janata"(mass recruiters) companies i.e. Infy and MindTree. Our pal Hari, as expected, delivered loads of bullcrap in his interviews and ended up goofing them. At this point, Kunta, Deepak, Nachi, Sharath, Meese mama (smiley) and myself (The IEEE - gang) decided to conduct mock interviews for Hari.
Scene1:
Location: Our adda during the IEEE days (PDS mam's room)
Starring: Deepak, Kunta, Smiley, Nachi and Bhargav as the interview panelists of some arbit company (God knows what would have happened to the company if all five of us were in the same company).
Actor in Negative Role: Harikrishnan S
The scene: Hari enters through the door walks all the way to the panelists. All of us are staring at him intently.
Smiley: Did we ask you to come in?
Hari (innocently): Can I come in? (The other four panelists were trying hard to maitain a straight face).
Hari then rests his heavy bu*t on the chair in an awkward manner(God I don't have words to describe how he actually did it).
Smiley: Did we ask you to sit down?
Hari(Springs up on his toes): Can I sit down?
Smiley: What do you have in your hand?
Hari (clutching his resume as if it were his prized possestion): My resume. (doesn't bother to hand it over).
Smiley: So, aren't you supposed to hand it over to us?
Hari (realization dawning over him): Oh,Here sir, Here is my resume (He was still reluctant to part with it).
This was when we decided to stop the interview and made him go over the routine again and again till it resembled something that was acceptable if not perfect.
Note: We had a tough time having him practice some basic etiquettes.
Scene 2:
Location: Lecture Complex.(our timepass-adda)
Starring: The same set of people
The scene: Hari has now perfected the art of entering the interview room elegantly and greeting the interviewers. Now to the actual interview.
Kunta: Tell me something about yourself
Hari: Blabbers some nonsense and is done within 15 seconds (surprising for Hari's standards).
Kunta: Ayyo cha*per, blade haku anta chance kottaga blade hakalvalla neenu...
Hari then rants something about himself for about a minute.
Deepak: Are you a money-oriented person?
Hari: NO!
Deepak: Suppose we pay 4.5 L p.a and tomorrow another company offers you 5 L p.a. will you join them because of the money?
Hari: Yes (we are stunned)
Deepak: That means you are money oriented
Hari: (Unfazedly) Yes
We were trying hard to contain our laughter. (The gravity of the situation demanded so).
Smiley: Are you planning to do higher studies?
Hari: (Emphatic) NO! (Someone had told him that such things should not be mentioned in the interview).
Sriram: Even if the job demands you to do higher studies and if we were to encourage you, would you still opt out?
Hari: (Again, emphatically) NO! I am not going to do my higher studies.
This is when we keyed the term "HARIism" to all those statements that contradicted the previous statements.
After 3 hours of such mock interview, Hari was still the lively man that he always is. I guess, the pic i've attached below describes our state at the end of the mock interview. (I attribute my receding hair line to that day's interview).
Not much has changed since then, but the only thing (a significant development) is that Hari Uncle manages to maitain a straight face (previously, realization used to dawn upon him and this was visible in his facial expression).
Well, there's more to this guy. I've just mentioned the most significant "contradictions" aspect of his. The other aspects are not worth mentioning!
And who knows some day I might get to write another post on another significant contradiction (oops contribution) by Hari!
Recap: These two posts (check out the previous one as well) are dedicated to a good friend of mine (Harikrishnan S aka Students aka Arbitrary Hari).. He has been bestowed with the honorary Arbitrary title because of his ability to speak bullsh*t fluently. Only those close to him know that he is bullsh*tting while lesser mortals look at him in awe. Read on to know more about this genlte giant who is also a pukka a**hole.
I'll now relive those moments which saw arbitrary Hari transform into a man of contradictions (note that the steve waugh incident could also be considered for the same but the author has the right to change the roles as and when he likes).
Semester 6 exams had just ended and as usual the four of us (Deepak, Adarsh, Hari and myself) found ourselves in some deep sh*t courtesy the microcontroller paper which nearly left us in tears (DSP was also bad and so were the other 4 subjects, not to mention the labs). Only the 3 of us had been recruited by two "Janata"(mass recruiters) companies i.e. Infy and MindTree. Our pal Hari, as expected, delivered loads of bullcrap in his interviews and ended up goofing them. At this point, Kunta, Deepak, Nachi, Sharath, Meese mama (smiley) and myself (The IEEE - gang) decided to conduct mock interviews for Hari.
Scene1:
Location: Our adda during the IEEE days (PDS mam's room)
Starring: Deepak, Kunta, Smiley, Nachi and Bhargav as the interview panelists of some arbit company (God knows what would have happened to the company if all five of us were in the same company).
Actor in Negative Role: Harikrishnan S
The scene: Hari enters through the door walks all the way to the panelists. All of us are staring at him intently.
Smiley: Did we ask you to come in?
Hari (innocently): Can I come in? (The other four panelists were trying hard to maitain a straight face).
Hari then rests his heavy bu*t on the chair in an awkward manner(God I don't have words to describe how he actually did it).
Smiley: Did we ask you to sit down?
Hari(Springs up on his toes): Can I sit down?
Smiley: What do you have in your hand?
Hari (clutching his resume as if it were his prized possestion): My resume. (doesn't bother to hand it over).
Smiley: So, aren't you supposed to hand it over to us?
Hari (realization dawning over him): Oh,Here sir, Here is my resume (He was still reluctant to part with it).
This was when we decided to stop the interview and made him go over the routine again and again till it resembled something that was acceptable if not perfect.
Note: We had a tough time having him practice some basic etiquettes.
Scene 2:
Location: Lecture Complex.(our timepass-adda)
Starring: The same set of people
The scene: Hari has now perfected the art of entering the interview room elegantly and greeting the interviewers. Now to the actual interview.
Kunta: Tell me something about yourself
Hari: Blabbers some nonsense and is done within 15 seconds (surprising for Hari's standards).
Kunta: Ayyo cha*per, blade haku anta chance kottaga blade hakalvalla neenu...
Hari then rants something about himself for about a minute.
Deepak: Are you a money-oriented person?
Hari: NO!
Deepak: Suppose we pay 4.5 L p.a and tomorrow another company offers you 5 L p.a. will you join them because of the money?
Hari: Yes (we are stunned)
Deepak: That means you are money oriented
Hari: (Unfazedly) Yes
We were trying hard to contain our laughter. (The gravity of the situation demanded so).
Smiley: Are you planning to do higher studies?
Hari: (Emphatic) NO! (Someone had told him that such things should not be mentioned in the interview).
Sriram: Even if the job demands you to do higher studies and if we were to encourage you, would you still opt out?
Hari: (Again, emphatically) NO! I am not going to do my higher studies.
This is when we keyed the term "HARIism" to all those statements that contradicted the previous statements.
After 3 hours of such mock interview, Hari was still the lively man that he always is. I guess, the pic i've attached below describes our state at the end of the mock interview. (I attribute my receding hair line to that day's interview).
Not much has changed since then, but the only thing (a significant development) is that Hari Uncle manages to maitain a straight face (previously, realization used to dawn upon him and this was visible in his facial expression).
Well, there's more to this guy. I've just mentioned the most significant "contradictions" aspect of his. The other aspects are not worth mentioning!
And who knows some day I might get to write another post on another significant contradiction (oops contribution) by Hari!
Monday, November 06, 2006
CONTRADICTIONS GALORE!!!
Statutory Warning: Knowing this person could be injurious to health
This post is dedicated to a person who is a unique specimen. A one of his kind... (The world would be better off without him...and more of such species would have resulted in a catastrophe).
Meet Mr Harikrishnan S aka Students, 6ft 2" tall, weighing over 200 pounds and has a tongue that outruns his other physical attributes..
The first day I met him, our pal had just got a branch change from Computer Sci and was using jargon unknown to most..
Deepak, Adarsh and myself were the first to hear his Hari-isms(a term that I plan to describe in detail a little later).
Here's Hari for you during the early years:
Hari: Naanu ninge SPAM madbidtini... (come-on, during first sem, I had absolutely no clue of what SPAM stood for... Heck, I didn't even have an email id then... I just thought that it was abbreviation for somekind of curse...)
And during those initial days, our pal had a rare quality (jeez, it aint rare, it's the only one of it's kind)... Here's how the conversation used to go:
One of us: Hari, bartiyeno football adakke?
Hari: Illa kano, telephone bill katt beku (damn, it's 6am in the morning)
Another occasion:
One of us: Hari, yeno madta iddiya
Hari: Ille electricity bill kattuta iddini (it's only around 9.30 pm in the night)
Oh the other Hari popped up in semester 3.. (God knows where he'd disappeared in semester 2)... And this time he was back with a bang..Sledging his way through.. ( I remember, the batsman at the crease was virtually in tears when Hari who was positioned as short cover shouted "This guy has NO TALENT!!" )...
Cut to semester 5; Hari, Deepak and myself are sitting in the library (one of the rarest sights second only to the UFO spotting in some non-descript town in Uncle SAM's backyard).
Adarsh on his way to borrow some books stops by and the conversation drifts to Steve Waugh:
Hari: Steve Waugh yeno gabbu bowler... Slow agi urlkond baratte...
Adarsh: Aaae illa ley, bejan fast haktane..bouncers yella haktane..
Hari: Adu houdu, pace iratte avana bowling alli..
That was just the beginning...Or that's when we began to concentrate on what Hari actually said. It's quite tough to describe in words his facial expression when he knows that he's contradicted himself before he has completed his uncontradicted version. (These days, it's the same old Hari , but with a straight face. His acquaintances look up to him with awe.If only they were able to concentrate on what he says ...)
Writing about Hari aint a one day affair...So, let me go the Ekta Kapoor way and say To Be Continued...
This post is dedicated to a person who is a unique specimen. A one of his kind... (The world would be better off without him...and more of such species would have resulted in a catastrophe).
Meet Mr Harikrishnan S aka Students, 6ft 2" tall, weighing over 200 pounds and has a tongue that outruns his other physical attributes..
The first day I met him, our pal had just got a branch change from Computer Sci and was using jargon unknown to most..
Deepak, Adarsh and myself were the first to hear his Hari-isms(a term that I plan to describe in detail a little later).
Here's Hari for you during the early years:
Hari: Naanu ninge SPAM madbidtini... (come-on, during first sem, I had absolutely no clue of what SPAM stood for... Heck, I didn't even have an email id then... I just thought that it was abbreviation for somekind of curse...)
And during those initial days, our pal had a rare quality (jeez, it aint rare, it's the only one of it's kind)... Here's how the conversation used to go:
One of us: Hari, bartiyeno football adakke?
Hari: Illa kano, telephone bill katt beku (damn, it's 6am in the morning)
Another occasion:
One of us: Hari, yeno madta iddiya
Hari: Ille electricity bill kattuta iddini (it's only around 9.30 pm in the night)
Oh the other Hari popped up in semester 3.. (God knows where he'd disappeared in semester 2)... And this time he was back with a bang..Sledging his way through.. ( I remember, the batsman at the crease was virtually in tears when Hari who was positioned as short cover shouted "This guy has NO TALENT!!" )...
Cut to semester 5; Hari, Deepak and myself are sitting in the library (one of the rarest sights second only to the UFO spotting in some non-descript town in Uncle SAM's backyard).
Adarsh on his way to borrow some books stops by and the conversation drifts to Steve Waugh:
Hari: Steve Waugh yeno gabbu bowler... Slow agi urlkond baratte...
Adarsh: Aaae illa ley, bejan fast haktane..bouncers yella haktane..
Hari: Adu houdu, pace iratte avana bowling alli..
That was just the beginning...Or that's when we began to concentrate on what Hari actually said. It's quite tough to describe in words his facial expression when he knows that he's contradicted himself before he has completed his uncontradicted version. (These days, it's the same old Hari , but with a straight face. His acquaintances look up to him with awe.If only they were able to concentrate on what he says ...)
Writing about Hari aint a one day affair...So, let me go the Ekta Kapoor way and say To Be Continued...
Friday, November 03, 2006
FROM RICHES TO RAGS
As I mulled over my current financial status (which isn't something good), I did some mental math and came to the conclusion that I would have had a cool 1,00,23,040 bucks in my bank account had I used my head.
For those who haven't figured out how a bummer (slang for beggar) like me would have so much of cash, the calculation is explained stepwise:
1. Four years of engineering. Each sem has 6 subjects + 2 labs.
2. Therefore total no of subjects = (6sub * 8 semesters)+(2 labs*8semesters) = 64 . (Note: The assumption here is that there are no backlogs. If there are backlogs, please add the same to the no of subjects).
3. Let us term this as a variable called No_of_Subjects. (My software engg skills are coming into picture here)
PLEASE UNDERSTAND THE REASONING BEHIND EACH STEP NOW ON:
4. Each subject has roughly around 3 reference books + 1 VTU book.
5. At the beginning of the semester, 1 reference book would have been purchased/borrowed from the library (Oh, just purchased and NOT read). That leaves me with 2 reference books + 1 VTU book.
6. No of chapters to be studied to attempt 5 questions in exam = 6 (Roughly)
7. No of pages per chapter = 50 (approx).
8. Therefore, total no of pages to be read = 50*6=300
9. Total No of pages from the 2 reference books + 1 VTU book = 300*2 +300*1=900.
10. Total No of pages throughout the engineering course = 900*No_of_Subjects = 57600 = No of pages that need to be photocopied.
11. Cost of photocopy = 0.40Rs per page.
12. Total cost of photocopy = 57600 *0.40 = Rs 23,040
13. No of Redundant photocopies = 1000 (redundancy might be caused by getting the same book photocopied twice or by having the genius to take a photocopy of book owned by oneself..psst..one of my friends actually did it..)
14. Total cost of redundant photocopies = 1000 * 0.40 = 400
15. Total cost of photocopies = 23,040+400 = Rs 23,440.
So, there we are. A stepwise explanation to achieve the mentioned at the top of this post.
Oh and yes, for those of you who are wondering where the other 1,00,00,000 Rs fits in:
....
....
....
....
....
GO ROB A BANK!!
I almost forgot.. Himesh can't sing!!!For those who haven't figured out how a bummer (slang for beggar) like me would have so much of cash, the calculation is explained stepwise:
1. Four years of engineering. Each sem has 6 subjects + 2 labs.
2. Therefore total no of subjects = (6sub * 8 semesters)+(2 labs*8semesters) = 64 . (Note: The assumption here is that there are no backlogs. If there are backlogs, please add the same to the no of subjects).
3. Let us term this as a variable called No_of_Subjects. (My software engg skills are coming into picture here)
PLEASE UNDERSTAND THE REASONING BEHIND EACH STEP NOW ON:
4. Each subject has roughly around 3 reference books + 1 VTU book.
5. At the beginning of the semester, 1 reference book would have been purchased/borrowed from the library (Oh, just purchased and NOT read). That leaves me with 2 reference books + 1 VTU book.
6. No of chapters to be studied to attempt 5 questions in exam = 6 (Roughly)
7. No of pages per chapter = 50 (approx).
8. Therefore, total no of pages to be read = 50*6=300
9. Total No of pages from the 2 reference books + 1 VTU book = 300*2 +300*1=900.
10. Total No of pages throughout the engineering course = 900*No_of_Subjects = 57600 = No of pages that need to be photocopied.
11. Cost of photocopy = 0.40Rs per page.
12. Total cost of photocopy = 57600 *0.40 = Rs 23,040
13. No of Redundant photocopies = 1000 (redundancy might be caused by getting the same book photocopied twice or by having the genius to take a photocopy of book owned by oneself..psst..one of my friends actually did it..)
14. Total cost of redundant photocopies = 1000 * 0.40 = 400
15. Total cost of photocopies = 23,040+400 = Rs 23,440.
So, there we are. A stepwise explanation to achieve the mentioned at the top of this post.
Oh and yes, for those of you who are wondering where the other 1,00,00,000 Rs fits in:
....
....
....
....
....
GO ROB A BANK!!
Thursday, November 02, 2006
TO CUT A LONG STORY SHORT...
I've drawn some flak for my previous posts. (the criticism was that the blogs were too taxing and voluminous for the reader). Well, I've decided to keep this one short.
"我有許多工作。我不是失業的"
"J'ai un bon nombre de travail. Je ne suis pas sans emploi"
"나는 일의 제비를 가지고 있는다. 나는 실직 중이 아니다 이지 않는다"
"Έχω τα μέρη της εργασίας. Δεν είμαι άνεργος"
"Ich habe Lose Arbeit. Ich bin nicht arbeitslos"
FIGURE THAT OUT SUCKERS!!!
Well... I'm done. Nothing more to pen for now.
"我有許多工作。我不是失業的"
"J'ai un bon nombre de travail. Je ne suis pas sans emploi"
"나는 일의 제비를 가지고 있는다. 나는 실직 중이 아니다 이지 않는다"
"Έχω τα μέρη της εργασίας. Δεν είμαι άνεργος"
"Ich habe Lose Arbeit. Ich bin nicht arbeitslos"
FIGURE THAT OUT SUCKERS!!!
Well... I'm done. Nothing more to pen for now.
Tuesday, October 31, 2006
INTERNAL AFFAIRS!!!
It's that time of the day when your vision becomes hazy and you begin to see 2 objects instead of 1... Naaaah, it aint 11pm, it's 2.30 pm on a dull afternoon with my damager, oops, manager keeping a constant watch on me... Aaaaaaaaa b@llz to him... Let me continue with my post!!!
Here goes ...
Today, after lunch, Karthik and myself were chattering away to glory(as usual) much to the dispair of Chubby and Sibin who had to listen to us patiently.. (Raghavendra - Chubby's tech lead was snoring away to glory under the coconut tree)... And as usual we come up with some topic that would leave me nostalgic. Oh yes, today we spoke about the days in college we were at our notorious best... I'm talking about the days in college when we had internals...
Cut to Semester 1, somewhere in 2001, when Deepak
and Hari 
struck a deal with chemistry lab budda (translated as "old man" for those who are unfamiliar with these jargon)... The chemistry internal paper cost us a hefty sum of Rs 50.. (oh i almost forgot, we made quite a bit of profit out of this. Half the class parted with Rs 5 each for the paper and we ended up with the question paper plus a profit of 100 bucks and I'm sure NR Bhat and Suraj would want their money back on hearing this)...
Cost of Question Paper: Rs 50
Cost of Xerox: Rs 20
The look on the lecturer's face when he sees me scoring 25/25 without attending a single class: PRICELESS!!!!
And the fact that we did it again for our second internals just proved that the first one was no accident!
This was just the beginning of our 4 year course which saw us face about 100 internals. And at the end of it all coming out unscathed, if you can call it that.
By the end of the first semester copying was almost a unwritten rule. And it wasn't that we were looking down upon people who actually studied. We needed such people. We needed a source as well!!!
Second semester saw most of us reaching college an hour or two before the internals. (something that was conspicuously absent during regular classes). The fear of losing a seat next to the topper (or someone who had studied for that subject) got our asses going early in the morning. Oh yes, the 3 hour gap between internals were very well utilized. We saw many emerging soccer stars from our class, your's truly included. (I had to mention this :) )
In the third semester there was a new revelation in the form of Harikrishnan S. I vaguely remember Deepak whispering "resistance b/w tracks" or "electromagnetic induction" or some such thing during the ECET (One screw#d up subject) and till date God knows what Hari saw in those two phrases. He went on to write a novel in the given 1 hour span that would have made Sidney Sheldon or Jeffrey Archer proud. (God save the evaluator if he ever evaluated that paper).
We
met Sriram aka Kunta (a third class rascal from Info Science dept) somewhere in the middle of the fourth semester and he was one step ahead of all of us. A true engineer that he was he made use of the existing technology, Solar energy, Lunar energy etc etc and all the other non-descript energies in the world and came out with a path breaking innovation... "DATA IMPRESSION"... Sounds Hi-Fi, but the ground reality was that it was just a simple and effective way of using pressure of the ball point pen (supposed to be another great invention..but this time not by any one of us) and writing the answers without actual ink.
At this point of time, I must mention that there were some loud shouts of protest from Archana, Nisha and Shilpa (Angels (of charlie's angels fame) - we call them, though they are not what we call them, rather the opposite). Oh yes, ethics and values were their key points!! Despite the vociferous protests, we actually implemented it and it worked out very much to our favour. To anyone who said "Honesty pays" our question was simple "By cash or kind".
From the fifth sem onwards it was a radically new approach taken. Most often there used to be a contest as to who would come out of the hall first. We saw people coming out in 3 min (a record held by me and which I thought should be mentioned... I'm bragging about myself, but hell, this is my blog, so I gotta do it). Football sessions were an integral part of the 3 hour break I mentioned earlier.
Copying became an "Art" in the truest sense. Some were gifted with it by birth. Others developed it after sheer hard work. Fudging from the text books was done only when the football sessions were absent.
Right thoughout this post there hasn't been a single of instance where I've said that I studied for the internals. I haven't mentioned it coz I dont lie and dont want to write about things I didn't do.
Enough bragging...
Some highlights of my 4 years stint:
- Sampath getting caught by KGS (goddamit, he was dumb enough not to cook up an story and instead admitted to copying..well no prizes for guessing what happened after that...KGS didn't take no pity)
- Rohit Ganguly copying word to word from Suraj...Bugger did not even leave the spelling mistakes..(Oh yes, BKV figured that out).
- Hari filling up a 40 page blue book with an input of 2 phrases from Deepak.
- Kunta running from first bench to last bench under the eyes of the so-called invigilator.
-
Karthik and Purtod getting caught by MLS - our HOD (MLS conveniently neglected that coz Purtod and Karthik were kinda the most studious guys..had it been anyone else ...) for fudging right from the book.
- Me (the great) submitting an empty blue book to MLS (to think of it, I had the nerve to do it then) and walking out with a nonchalant shrug (DBMS internals) after 3 min (God knows how I survived that one).
All of us waiting for the invigilator to show up and then choosing the appropriate class room (it so happened that we used to end up 4 in a bench).
-Many more which I'm not able to recollect. If anyone remembers any other significant incident or if you so happen to just read this post and associate yourself with it and have a similar experience please feel free to post an arbit (arbitrary) comment. (Am doing some shameless advertisement :D :D )
I'd stop it here... Oo..I'M SO GONNA GET MY ASS KICKED FROM MY MANAGER!!!
One parting shot!!! HIMESH still can't sing!!!! (@Akshay - up yours!!!!! :) )
Here goes ...
Today, after lunch, Karthik and myself were chattering away to glory(as usual) much to the dispair of Chubby and Sibin who had to listen to us patiently.. (Raghavendra - Chubby's tech lead was snoring away to glory under the coconut tree)... And as usual we come up with some topic that would leave me nostalgic. Oh yes, today we spoke about the days in college we were at our notorious best... I'm talking about the days in college when we had internals...
Cut to Semester 1, somewhere in 2001, when Deepak
and Hari 
struck a deal with chemistry lab budda (translated as "old man" for those who are unfamiliar with these jargon)... The chemistry internal paper cost us a hefty sum of Rs 50.. (oh i almost forgot, we made quite a bit of profit out of this. Half the class parted with Rs 5 each for the paper and we ended up with the question paper plus a profit of 100 bucks and I'm sure NR Bhat and Suraj would want their money back on hearing this)...Cost of Question Paper: Rs 50
Cost of Xerox: Rs 20
The look on the lecturer's face when he sees me scoring 25/25 without attending a single class: PRICELESS!!!!
And the fact that we did it again for our second internals just proved that the first one was no accident!
This was just the beginning of our 4 year course which saw us face about 100 internals. And at the end of it all coming out unscathed, if you can call it that.
By the end of the first semester copying was almost a unwritten rule. And it wasn't that we were looking down upon people who actually studied. We needed such people. We needed a source as well!!!
Second semester saw most of us reaching college an hour or two before the internals. (something that was conspicuously absent during regular classes). The fear of losing a seat next to the topper (or someone who had studied for that subject) got our asses going early in the morning. Oh yes, the 3 hour gap between internals were very well utilized. We saw many emerging soccer stars from our class, your's truly included. (I had to mention this :) )
In the third semester there was a new revelation in the form of Harikrishnan S. I vaguely remember Deepak whispering "resistance b/w tracks" or "electromagnetic induction" or some such thing during the ECET (One screw#d up subject) and till date God knows what Hari saw in those two phrases. He went on to write a novel in the given 1 hour span that would have made Sidney Sheldon or Jeffrey Archer proud. (God save the evaluator if he ever evaluated that paper).
We
met Sriram aka Kunta (a third class rascal from Info Science dept) somewhere in the middle of the fourth semester and he was one step ahead of all of us. A true engineer that he was he made use of the existing technology, Solar energy, Lunar energy etc etc and all the other non-descript energies in the world and came out with a path breaking innovation... "DATA IMPRESSION"... Sounds Hi-Fi, but the ground reality was that it was just a simple and effective way of using pressure of the ball point pen (supposed to be another great invention..but this time not by any one of us) and writing the answers without actual ink.At this point of time, I must mention that there were some loud shouts of protest from Archana, Nisha and Shilpa (Angels (of charlie's angels fame) - we call them, though they are not what we call them, rather the opposite). Oh yes, ethics and values were their key points!! Despite the vociferous protests, we actually implemented it and it worked out very much to our favour. To anyone who said "Honesty pays" our question was simple "By cash or kind".
From the fifth sem onwards it was a radically new approach taken. Most often there used to be a contest as to who would come out of the hall first. We saw people coming out in 3 min (a record held by me and which I thought should be mentioned... I'm bragging about myself, but hell, this is my blog, so I gotta do it). Football sessions were an integral part of the 3 hour break I mentioned earlier.
Copying became an "Art" in the truest sense. Some were gifted with it by birth. Others developed it after sheer hard work. Fudging from the text books was done only when the football sessions were absent.
Right thoughout this post there hasn't been a single of instance where I've said that I studied for the internals. I haven't mentioned it coz I dont lie and dont want to write about things I didn't do.
Enough bragging...
Some highlights of my 4 years stint:
- Sampath getting caught by KGS (goddamit, he was dumb enough not to cook up an story and instead admitted to copying..well no prizes for guessing what happened after that...KGS didn't take no pity)
- Rohit Ganguly copying word to word from Suraj...Bugger did not even leave the spelling mistakes..(Oh yes, BKV figured that out).
- Hari filling up a 40 page blue book with an input of 2 phrases from Deepak.
- Kunta running from first bench to last bench under the eyes of the so-called invigilator.
-
Karthik and Purtod getting caught by MLS - our HOD (MLS conveniently neglected that coz Purtod and Karthik were kinda the most studious guys..had it been anyone else ...) for fudging right from the book.- Me (the great) submitting an empty blue book to MLS (to think of it, I had the nerve to do it then) and walking out with a nonchalant shrug (DBMS internals) after 3 min (God knows how I survived that one).
All of us waiting for the invigilator to show up and then choosing the appropriate class room (it so happened that we used to end up 4 in a bench).
-Many more which I'm not able to recollect. If anyone remembers any other significant incident or if you so happen to just read this post and associate yourself with it and have a similar experience please feel free to post an arbit (arbitrary) comment. (Am doing some shameless advertisement :D :D )
I'd stop it here... Oo..I'M SO GONNA GET MY ASS KICKED FROM MY MANAGER!!!
One parting shot!!! HIMESH still can't sing!!!! (@Akshay - up yours!!!!! :) )
Sunday, October 29, 2006
OOH AAH INDIA, AARGH YUCK INDIA!!!!!
Annihilate , Decimate etc etc... These terms are still too mild to describe what the mighty Aussies did to India yesterday (29th of October 2006)...
I've been reading a lot of posts that analyze, chastise India's performance on the field. Most of them are ardent Ganguly fans who seem to think that sacking Chappel, Dravid and bringing Ganguly back into the Indian team is the solution to all woes. Aaaaargh BULLSH*T!!!!!!!!!
For starters, Ganguly WAS a good player. Not anymore. And to get into the team you need to look at the PRESENT performance not PAST records. If people want Ganguly back into the team looking at his previous records, then Kapil Dev and Sunil Gavaskar should also play... Let's face it, Ganguly's days as a player are over. All he can do is appear in a Pepsi commercial hoping that the selectors look at his acting performance now.
Secondly, I feel it is unfair to just blame Dravid and Chappel for this pathetic performance. A coach and captain influence the outcome of a match only to a certain extent. However, the final performance is individual. If a batsman like Sehwag does not show any remorse after being dismissed for an atrocious shot which he calls "playing his natural game", the captain
can atmost rebuke him. But it is upto the player to rectify his mistake and not commit the same blunder.
What needs to be improved in the current Indian cricket team:
1. USE YOUR HEAD: I presume everyone has sufficient amount of stuff in the "upper chamber" of the body. If that is filled with vaccum, then God save the team.
2. BODY LANGUAGE: The most lacking aspect in the current team.One boundary from the batsman, or some chin music from the bowler and you end up seeing drooping shoulders. Half the match is played in the mind/attitude and once that is lost, there is a slim chance of winning a match unless the opposition is West Indies who have an uncanny knack of goofing up the simplest of things. Expect no quarter and give no quarter to the opposition.
Learn from the Aussies in this department. At no stage in the match do their shoulders drop. They are intimidating at every instant and pounce on the slightest of fear shown by the opposition.
3. PREPARE: Use the technology, identify your mistakes and rectify them. Learn from the champions what they do differently. Practice makes a man perfect sounds cliched but it still holds good.
4. STICK to CRICKET ONLY: For Christ's sake we have specialized actors who can perform on Television. We want our cricketers to bat, bowl and field well, not show their emotions well in commercials. No one cares if Dhoni's complexion turns fair after his usage of Mysore Sandal soap, as long as he is good behind the wicket and with the bat.
The team has talent but no grit and determination to perform. Added to it, there are some players who are on borrowed time.
A note for those who think cricket can be made more entertaining by wearing revealing clothes while anchoring or by using jargon that are 5000 feet above sea level. Cricket is a sport; spelt as S-P-O-R-T and not TV S-O-A-P.
Ms Mandira and Mr.Sidhu, I hope you are listening.
Also, HIMESH RESHAMMIYA can't sing for nuts!!!!!
I've been reading a lot of posts that analyze, chastise India's performance on the field. Most of them are ardent Ganguly fans who seem to think that sacking Chappel, Dravid and bringing Ganguly back into the Indian team is the solution to all woes. Aaaaargh BULLSH*T!!!!!!!!!
For starters, Ganguly WAS a good player. Not anymore. And to get into the team you need to look at the PRESENT performance not PAST records. If people want Ganguly back into the team looking at his previous records, then Kapil Dev and Sunil Gavaskar should also play... Let's face it, Ganguly's days as a player are over. All he can do is appear in a Pepsi commercial hoping that the selectors look at his acting performance now.
Secondly, I feel it is unfair to just blame Dravid and Chappel for this pathetic performance. A coach and captain influence the outcome of a match only to a certain extent. However, the final performance is individual. If a batsman like Sehwag does not show any remorse after being dismissed for an atrocious shot which he calls "playing his natural game", the captain
can atmost rebuke him. But it is upto the player to rectify his mistake and not commit the same blunder.What needs to be improved in the current Indian cricket team:
1. USE YOUR HEAD: I presume everyone has sufficient amount of stuff in the "upper chamber" of the body. If that is filled with vaccum, then God save the team.
2. BODY LANGUAGE: The most lacking aspect in the current team.One boundary from the batsman, or some chin music from the bowler and you end up seeing drooping shoulders. Half the match is played in the mind/attitude and once that is lost, there is a slim chance of winning a match unless the opposition is West Indies who have an uncanny knack of goofing up the simplest of things. Expect no quarter and give no quarter to the opposition.
Learn from the Aussies in this department. At no stage in the match do their shoulders drop. They are intimidating at every instant and pounce on the slightest of fear shown by the opposition.3. PREPARE: Use the technology, identify your mistakes and rectify them. Learn from the champions what they do differently. Practice makes a man perfect sounds cliched but it still holds good.
4. STICK to CRICKET ONLY: For Christ's sake we have specialized actors who can perform on Television. We want our cricketers to bat, bowl and field well, not show their emotions well in commercials. No one cares if Dhoni's complexion turns fair after his usage of Mysore Sandal soap, as long as he is good behind the wicket and with the bat.
The team has talent but no grit and determination to perform. Added to it, there are some players who are on borrowed time.
A note for those who think cricket can be made more entertaining by wearing revealing clothes while anchoring or by using jargon that are 5000 feet above sea level. Cricket is a sport; spelt as S-P-O-R-T and not TV S-O-A-P.
Ms Mandira and Mr.Sidhu, I hope you are listening.
Also, HIMESH RESHAMMIYA can't sing for nuts!!!!!
Saturday, August 12, 2006
It's A Small World Out There
May 18th 2006:
00.00 hours IST: Indian Airlines flight from Bangalore to Singapore delayed by an hour and half.
Five and half hours later after what seemed to be a never ending flight, I step out and take a deep breath. I've landed in a country which does not discriminate based on caste or creed, a country where crime is unheard of, a country where people "mind their own business".
3000 miles away from corruption, politics, traffic I feel relieved to enter into a country where law is paramount. The first thing that strikes me is the magnificient Changi Airport - Winner of the Best International Airport for the 'n'th consecutive time. As I walk to the lobby of the aiport awestruck by its grandeur my mind quickly goes into a "Spot the 6 differences" mode: Bangalore Airport v/s Singapore Airport. Hell, I think of 600 hundred differences ranging from the "paan stained" airport premises in Bangalore to the pleasant immigration officer at Changi.
Fifteen minutes later I watch in awe as the taxi driver sails through the well laid roads. I feel he is gliding over the roads, not riding on them. I close my eyes as he rapidly accelerates, awaiting the moment of screeching brakes bracing myself for the impending crash. Much to my surprise he has coolly overtaken the car opposite us without much ado. I strain my ear to hear any verbal abuse from the driver of the other car. I am surprised, he has just shifted gears and is focussed on the road ahead. The taxi driver takes me to the hotel in a matter of minutes. I expect him to haggle the moment I get out and I prepare myself mentally. I am astonished as he gives me a print-out of the bill and politely says "Thank you sir. Have a nice trip".
To switch rapidly from a city of utter chaos to a well organized robotic city is asking a bit too much. My "Bangalorean" instincts got the better of me as I stepped onto the road from the footpath. Surprisingly, I was the only one to do so and suddenly it struck me. Jaywalking is an offence and the penalty to be paid is roughly around 100$. That would have meant a 2 day salary cut for me. I quickly hop back to the footpath and my eyes scan for a pedestrian crossing.
At the pedestrian crossing I'm surprised yet again when I find passing cars awaiting for the pedestrians to cross. On any normal day in Bangalore, I would have seen scurrying pedestrians and angry drivers. Well, lesson no 1 learnt. In Singapore, to honk is a sign of disrepect to the other person and the pedestrian is considered supreme.
I quickly learn that it is not hi-fi technology and gadgets that makes Singapore a clean city. It is the adherence to the rules laid down that makes it what it is.
For two weeks I am totally dumbfounded by all the high rise buildings, all the man made rainforests, the artificial beaches and artificial whatnots. For two weeks I go on with 'ooh' and 'aah' and 'wow : what a place..on the contrary, look at India..they cannot do such simple things..all they look at is money etc etc'.
For those who think I am making a God out of Singapore read on..
On 2nd of July, I am all set into move into a furnished apartment and my landlord offers to carry my luggage from the hotel to the apartment. Just to make small talk I ask him "So sir, how long have you been here?". "17 years" comes the reply. "How do you find the living here? You must be really happy". He cuts me before I could complete my sentence "I'm sick of this place la (la - a Singaporean equivalent for the Indian "da" ). I want to go to another country la". End of conversation.
At the end of my two-month stay in Singapore I have interacted with atleast 100 Singapore citizens (and I am talking about people whose ancestors started families in Singapore). I recieve the same response from each of them. I find a feeling of restlessness, an urge to break free from the monotony of life, a desperation to live in a place where one can live without having to worry about paying his/her monthly salary as fine for a forgivable offence. I find that money and technology can make high rise buildings and lot of other contraption but along with it comes a cost, a cost of being a prisoner bound to a set of extremely stringent rules and regulations.
I however do agree that there are a lot of positives that can be taken to make India better. As the famous RangDeBasanti dialogue goes "Koi bhi desh perfect nahin hota. use behter banaana padta hai".
I offer a silent prayer, thanking God that I have been born in India - a country that needs no artificial beautification, a country where I govern my life, a country which has the concept of large families/gatherings (as opposed to a "2/3 people is considered to be a group/family"), a country where I can hear laugther around and not the silence of a graveyard. I can think of a thousand other things that makes India unique but I restrict myself here.
"Mera Bharat Mahan".
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