Saturday, May 19, 2007


After a lot of pondering, confusion and innumerable no of phone calls, we decided to visit one of the pubs in Bangalore. Purple Faze or Haze or some such thing... For starters, I've got no clue as to what these guys think while naming the pubs.. And me being a saint that I am, have (mis)understood 'pub' to be a prefix of the word 'lication'.

All said and done, the five of us met at this place Purple Gaze and me was in the highest of spirits...(Not in the literal sense. I abstain from consuming spirit). When I first looked at this place I felt the same way as any Muggle(non-wizard) would after seeing No 12, Grimmauld Place(For details, read Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix, Chapter 2/3).

When I yanked the door open, a blast of 'something' hit me and I'm positively sure I do not know what that something was. (Or to be more precise, I cannot describe what that something was). I saw some creature that remotely resembled a homo-sapien writhing on the floor convulsing rapidly. The 'playing-the-good-samaritan' instincts took over and I searched for a piece of iron to give it to this person who was suffering from a bout of fits. Thankfully, I stopped myself, (just in time), seeing a lot of people not bothered about him and going about their daily routine without so-much as a glance towards him. Karthik had the grace to shout over the din that he was 'Ed-barging'. (or was it 'Head Banging'?)
Phew!!! Pub visitors - 1 Bhargav - 0

5 min later I had a distinct feeling of something throbbing and it took me another 5 minutes to realize that the 'something' happened to be my head. Sitting right next to the source of the noise (the TV/screen/something where a few more crazy dudes were clanging all the metals that can be found in the Periodic Table), gave me an opportunity to observe the 'crowd'(The sole reason for me to visit that place was because of an anonymous tip-off who mentioned that the place would be swarming with the offsprings of Hens). The dudes and dudettes all the other tables were rocking back and forth.(something that looked like a continuous sequence of "I'm gonna fall now.. Oh no, I'm not.. I'm gonna fall now.. No, I'm not")... Whacky antics to attract a person's attention...
Pub visitors - 2 Bhargav - 0

Couple of minutes later, some guy came up to me and whispered something into my ear... (On any normal occasion, I'd have thought that this guy was making advances..but sanity prevailed here)... After running and re-running whatever he said to me for umpteen no of times in my mind, I figured out that he was the waiter asking us to place our order... Me being a toteetaler (or was it teetotaler), had to nudge Karthik (who seemed to be rocking like a pendulum)to place the order. Several minutes/hours/light-years after that, this waiter came to our table holding something that looked like an oversize candle with something sticking out.. Sibin,Karthik and Sarang took deep puffs and blew out smoke while it was a quite a funny scene watching Chubby do it..(he took a deep breath and inhaled some of the stuff but to our amusement, nothing came out). (Note: Me abstains from inhaling anonymous liquids/gases). Oh, i'd just found out that that candle with a wick was popularly known as "Hukka".
Pub Vistors - 3 Bhargav - 0

3 Pitchers later, tongues were loosening and Sarang, Sibin and Karthik were muttering something about "Salvation", "Best friends", "I'm not drunk totally"... (That's what everyone says..I mean, who would want to admit it that they are drunk"). I had an urge to rush up to the bartender/DJ and ask him to play Kishore Kumar songs (that too slow ones), but again, the rush of adrenalin was stemmed when Karthik gave me a "You-must-be-a-wierdo-to-do-that" look. (Plus, the urge to eat curd rice at that point of time had to be curbed due to the same reasons).
Pub Visitors - 4 Bhargav - 0

At 11.15, the owners of the Pub had the courtesy and the decency to turn off the music... (thank the present Govt for the late night rules, version 0.3 reviewed by HDK himself). By this time, it was me who was muttering gibberish (though I hadn't touched a drop of that goddam* alcohol). Karthik stood up to imitate some jack-ass who was playing an imaginary guitar, but thank god, they switched off the TV.. (Else, I would have seen two rare species on the same night)..
Pub Visitors -4 Bhargav - 1

I reached home almost at midnight, after dumping Karthik at Sarang's place. Sibin was hollering loudly about eating an ice-cream. Sarang was laughing for any and every sentence. Karthik wore dark sunglasses while he sat behind me. (to think of it - Dark glasses at midnight. We were close to getting arrested for such a pathetic sense of dressing). Chubby was having a "What-the-heck-have-I-gotten-myself-into" look.

I was lucky, my parents were sleeping, else I'd have gotten a huge boot in my backside. And I also happened to set a record for being the first person to have visited a pub without having a drink/smoke whatsoever. (And yet, had a set of clothes that were stinking and I was smelling as if I'd just walked out of a gas chamber..Just hoping that my mom doesn't get to know).

And if you think I'm never gonna visit a pub again...HECK, YES, I WILL!!!! Not to smoke or to booze but just to increase the count to Pub Visitors - 4 Bhargav - 4!!!