Tuesday, May 19, 2009

What's In A Name?

Ever since I was a kid, people have been calling me all sorts of names except for that one decent name, my folks thought would identify me.

I've been tagged as "Suppandi" (for my stupidity) by my cousins; a name they'll probably use even when i'm an age-old grandpa (won't talk too much about grandpapas here.. more on that later)..

Enter school where people referred to me as Guinea Pig aka Piggie for my nearly football shaped body and a pouting nose. That name stuck to me for nearly a decade and hell yeah, I used to be annoyed by that one; though I din't have the fitness nor the drive to chase down the bullies who called me a Piggie. D'oh.. :x (Some of the meaner ones used to chant "Dummi" - a fat, really fat, girl... They had a song for it as well... Bhari-dummi, handi mamsa i.e. pig fat, chicken mutton)

2 days into my engineering, when I felt I'd exorcised the demons of Piggie, and hey-presto, I got a new nick name - Thatha aka Grandpapa. My wise-ass friends keenly observed my glaring physical attributes - a receding hairline and a pot belly and they decided that I was the "Thatha" of the gang. God, did that name stick to me like a leech. Oh, and shortly the same set of folks also started calling me "BM" - an acronym of a famous kannada quote that I'd better not quote :). Now, here was a guy who had nested nicknames.

Scene: Engg college canteen, football session goin on...
Deepak: Oi Thatha, pass the ball...
Me - ignore and take ball forward...
Hari: Loafer BM, pass the ball to Deepak...

Deepak and Hari together: Loafer Thatha - BM, ball pass maado...
And I'm like "D'oh... that's like saying Bhargav Bhargav ... like some african tribal called Djemba Djemba..

Ah... Sadly, these names stuck with me during my MindTree days as well. And as luck would have it more names got appended. This time the car gang named me Khokua. For the uninitiated, it means Gundygut or Glutton. Some respite huh!!!

Fresh set of faces, different location... I thought I'd left my legacy of nicknames back in good old Bengaluru when I left for Mumbai to do my MBA... Alas... Some folks just don't have any luck.. :(
Here, it is/was of a different kind though... Initially, the junta just couldn't digest the fact that Bhargav can be a first name as well (and not necessarily a surname)... once they came to accept that, I was better known as Bhaskar - coz brand-Bhargav recollection was a numeral that the Indians claimed to have discovered i.e. zero.

After Bhaskar came Baga (after the dumb-guy in Lagaan)... People have started called me Bhargava or Bargav (minus the 'h')... To add to my woes, the faculty calls me "Uday" and virtually every lecture I end up giving proxy to my dad...
Faculty: "Uday has something to say about this case"
Me: "Err...My dad hasn't read the case study... Uday Jr. has a point or two"

Faculty (While calling out the attendance): "Uday"
Me: " Yes Sir..." (Haah..take that...successfully gave proxy to my dad.... yet again)

I try to book my flight ticket and I get a mail saying "Mr Chandra, your flight details are..."
In a fit of rage, I delete the mail only to realize that I haven't boarded the flight yet...

Just when I thought that the place where I'm interning would be nick-name free, i get my email id which says "bhargav.udai@..... .com"...Spelling mistake..that's the last straw...

And today..what prompted me to post this blog - Some random chap in office calling me "Bhargesh"!!! D'oh :x

For the sake of everything that's holy, it is BHARGAV - B for Boring, H for Hopeless, A for jackAss, R for Retard, G for Goofy, A again for Jackass and V for Vork-shirk (does work start with a V or a W?)

Saturday, May 09, 2009

Random Saturday Mutterings

True..I like weekends.. I mean, who doesn't.. (Blah..din't have any other way of starting off this post).. Am lazy to have breakfast/lunch, right now... The very fact that I have to provide the momentum to get my posterior up from this comfortable bed makes me think twice...

Shifted to my new apartment... Am now the proud 'part-owner' of a rented flat in Juhu!!! Whoa...The Juhu!!! (Question: If it is a rented flat, how does it make me the owner? Ans: Good question )

To take a break from the eternally stressful entity called work, I've been tracking the general elections and of course IPL.

I'm voting for this Mulayam singh bloke. To me, this guy has been the best of the lot in terms of speech... He's promised that he would be banning English and computers. Nice. This is exactly the kind of people our country needs. I mean, why do we need computers? Or english for that matter? We could go one step further and ban schools as well. No Schools => no colleges => no exams (Note: This comment is purely accidental and any correlation with the author's exams and pending results are purely coincidental). We need more leaders like him.

Moving on to the IPL, I am pished. Mighty pished. Being a diehard Bangalore Royal Challengers fan, i am upset at the fact that the Icon Player of RCB hasn't been featuring in the Playing - 11. He is 42 years old and he needs a walking stick. He's got supreme talent but it's just that he cannot bat, bowl and field. Barring these minor aberrations (that can be overlooked), he's a great asset. Sunil Joshi - you have me on your side.