Monday, August 20, 2007


Feeling bored?? Feeling lonely?? Feeling sad???? Don't have cash??? Trouble at the workplace???? Here is the perfect solution for all your troubles. It's easy, it's fun and the best part of it, it comes at absolutely no cost... FREAK people out. Yeah, you heard me right, just freak 'em out... Whoa, BullSh*t for Free!!!!!

Let me give you a background of freaking people out before I actually get into the intricacies of freaking out people:

Why do people freak out?? The answer is simple, coz, they have a certain set of ideas/ideologies, and you simply refuse to believe them. In short, you just make them believe that your beliefs are superior! (Atleast, that's what you make them believe). Confused??? Read on...

How do you know if a person has freaked out? This is simpler than the previous one... The subject in question tends to exhibit qualities like "screaming at you", "attempting to assault you" or for the physically weak ones "simply stop speaking to you". There are these other set of people who, at first sight, dont seem to have freaked out... But, hold on, if this person ponders a lot over what you've said and comes back to you at a later point of time when the topic is not even remotely connected to what you are currently speaking, then it means that you've successfully freaked the person out...The bottom line is, almost everyone freaks out, you just have to hit the right nerve.

So, if it is so "freakin" simple, how the hell do you freak people out??? This is the simplest of the lot. Pick up a topic of your choice (the topic should be controversial.. It SHOULDN'T an open-shut case, for e.g. "Sachin should retire" or "Karan Johar is Gay" ). Something on the lines of well, say, "Does GOD exist????". Throw this open ended question to the person who you want to freak out. And then, no matter what the other person says, (whether you believe it or not), contradict them(whether you believe yourself or not!!). Shred their argument to pieces. Easy as that. And then, watch the fun....

There are 2 stages to master this art:
Stage 1: Fend off any attempt to Freak you out...
Stage 2: Try freaking others out.

I've passed stage 1 with flying colours and currently in infancy of stage 2.

For live demo, drop in when Hari freaks out some poor soul, aided by your's truly. (I must admit it, Hari is the master at this, and I've learnt from the master.. :D ).

I've given out some trade secrets, but this is, as the secret agents say, "For your eyes only".
The next time you see me contradicting you, you know what I'm upto!!! :)

STATUTORY WARNING: Freaking Out People is NOT injurious to health!

Disclaimer: Messrs Hari and Bhargav claim no responsiblity of the aftermath of freaking people out after having read this post. For safe results, try on "Good Friends" only.

So, Who's on your FREAK-LIST today?

Friday, August 03, 2007

Here We Go

Soccer Fever has struck MindTree... The much awaited Foundation Cup is finally here... And me is glad to be a part of it this time as well... Reminds me of the good ol' college days... Those were the days when i'd have scored more goals in football than in my internals and final exams combined... Sigh...

Cut to the present, I'm very keen to play football because it keeps you healty and fit...A healthy mind in a healthy body...Aaargh crap... Mostly because I get to bunk work citing "football practice" ... Yeah, off late, I've been offering some really lame reasons to escape from work... The most prominent one being "I am pondering over the future of the country" (When I was caught snoring away to glory)...

Anywayz, back to the football cup at MT... 52 teams participating with 10 per side and nearly 30 people from each team to cheer them... Add to that some really jobless people who go and cheer for people even if it were a kyocera vs mphasis match.. (For non Global Village residents/rodents, kyocera and mphasis are companies that share the same campus with us). Now, basic math would tell us that the total no of people on the field for all matches would exceed 2000... (Hmmm..Wonder how they are managing to pay our salaries still)...

Again, me has this habit of digressing too much from the topic... At the moment, me is comparing myself with the legendary Davor Suker - Winner of the Golden Boot in '98 WC to sitting on the bench in the '02 WC... Yeah... It's quite the same in my case as well... Leading goal scorer for my team (if not the tourney) in the previous cup and close to being dropped for offering lame excuses to drop out from practice sessions... I'm part of MUFC.. Nope..Not Manchester United Football Club (though, i'd have loved to be part of that)... But MindTree United FC... The first match is on Sunday and I will be wearing my customary Ruud V. Nistelrooy (in Manchester United) shirt... I hope to injure the other striker...No,No...Not the striker from the opposition team... I hope to injure the striker of my team - SO THAT I GET TO PLAY!! (That was the Eric Cartman in me, speaking).

Whatevar happens, whether I get to play or whether I get to play, I want to do a repeat of last year... i.e. official commentator for the finals. This time, the Lee Jordan in me is eagerly waiting to pop up... And boy, I'm gonna love it...