Sunday, August 31, 2008

Mercury Rising...

Phooey... Nearly 3 months since my previous post.
Truth: I was so busy with college and studies that I din't have the 'time' to blog. (DUH!!!)
Lies: All me do in college is play DC (dumb charades) and do time-pass. Me a lazy moron and me dint feel like signing into blogger. Ergo, no posts from the past 3 months.

Fahrenheit (the inter-div competion) at NM just got over today and me writes about what me saw/perceived (D'oh!!! No OB jargon allowed in my blog) @ Fahrenheit.

Here's just a brief intro about the entire Div C: 60 odd bunch of supremely talented individuals, each unique. Love to jabber-jabber a lot post 2pm and consider 9am - 2pm as the hibernating period. Droopy eyes, dreamy looks characterize these bunch of wierdos (including myself) during the first half of the day. It's the second half of the day when the 'other side' of this bunch can be seen. Can eat a chocolate ice cream topped cake (mmmmmm..Chocolate..mmmmmmmm) in record time. (Err... 'Eat' wouldn't exactly be the right word here... Devour would probably fit in).

Aaargh.. digressing too much from the topic. I'll write about this whole fahrenheit thingie in truth/lies fashion. (This manner of writing was introduced by the co-author of the blog All copyrights reserved).

Truth: Lady luck was with Div C. Hence it won fahrenheit.
Lies: As I mentioned above, Div C has a set of 'supremely' talented individuals. And when this pool of inherent talent come together, there's nothing stopping them.

Truth: Div C won by a whisker.
Lies: Clean Sweep of Fahrenheit 2008. The others were competing for the 2nd and 3rd spot. I don't expect this kind of a performance to be repeated in the years to come. (Unless the current members of this section participate). The score of Div C (200) was much more than the sum total of the 2nd and 3rd teams put together. (100+90).

Truth: There was lack of co-ordination in Div C.
Lies: OB, Individual dynamics, team-work etc etc shouldn't be taught in class. All they had to do was watch Div C's performance in Fahrenheit.

Truth: The competitors were just peers.
Lies: The seniors and juniors of all the divisions of MBA-Core and MBA-sectoral combined, couldn't match upto the might of a certain Div C, of which most of the contribution came from the junior batch.

Truth : Div C sneaked in a few points here and there and managed to win the first prize
Lies: Mad-Ads - 1st, Dumb C - 1st, JAM - 1st, Poster Making - 1st, Antakshari - 1st, Light Indian Music -2nd, Movie-Spoof - 3rd, Choreo - 3rd, Gas-o-meter - 3rd. That was like, 9 out of 10 events. Do I need to say more???

Truth: Div C won by cheating
Lies: DUH. Losers have excuses for everything. They blame the position of the moon, the stars and even the vada pav outside the college for their loss. I've got one statement for most of the others who say that div C won by cheating - "People inside glasshouses shouldn't throw stones at others".

Truth: Div C won Fahrenheit.
Lies: Div C dint just win Fahrenheit. It won it COMPREHENSIVELY!!!


Thursday, July 03, 2008

Vacation's over...

After nearly a 3 year honeymoon period in the IT industry (read as no-work), I get back to college once again..
I feel a sense of deja-vu after the first 10 days in college...

Here are some things which I revisit in my college life...

1. Sitting in the back bench
2. Switching back to Prepaid mode.
3. Trying to make new friends.
4. Finding the first friend in class and later realizing that he is a jackass.
5. Listening to friends rant about their crushes and girlfriends. And then giving them some 'crude' advice.
6. Bargaining with the local shop keeper for petty amounts.
7. Daily checking the balance of my mobile.
8. Asking a friend to return the 2Rs he had borrowed for coffee.
9. Going to the hotel, hogging like a pig, and leaving without tipping the waiter.
10. Having crushes on seniors but fearing their boyfriends.
11. Fudging an assignment from the studious people in class.
12. Dozing off in class and giving an understanding nod to the unsuspecting faculty at regular intervals.
13. Playing pranks on any arbitrary individual.
14. Laughing at anything and everything in the middle of a session.

...and some things which I am experiencing for the first time:
1. Hostel Life - I don't have something called a 'private life'. Added to that a factor of homesickness.
2. Ragging: Have been at the delivering end but never at the receiving end.
3. Washing clothes - God bless the inventor of the washing machine.
4. Living with 4 people in a single room.
5. Giving missed call to folks back home and waiting expectantly for them to call back.
6. Studying from day-1.
7. Going half-way to college after forgetting something and not getting a call from mom.
8. Speaking in Hindi for most part of the day. (Something at which I'm horribly bad and the cause of my non-participation in certain conversations when hard-core Hindi is used. My Hindi language is limited to "Arre yaar", "Kya", "Kyon","Kahan" and ofcourse the obscenities.)

Wednesday, June 18, 2008

3 mistakes of MY life

Before I start... Here's what a "Just Married.... ... ... To My New Lappie" status message could do to the no of people pinging you.. :) :)

Now, coming to the 3 Mistakes of my life:

Mistake #1: Reading Othla's post on

Mistake #2: Writing a comment for the same.

Mistake #3: Writing this worthless post to highlight my previous 2 mistakes.

Thursday, May 22, 2008

When Time Came to a standstill...

It was one of those bright sunny mornings - the ones that normally turn up after a Royal Challengers Bangalore victory, a rarity in itself. The day held no indication of the sequence of events that were to occur later in the day.

A hungry bunch of software proffessionals (with one ex-pro) set out to fulfil the signals sent by the stomach and their taste buds on this glorious morning. The trio waded through the exponentially increasing bangalore traffic, jumped traffic signals and cursed fellow motorists on the way to, what one can describe as, a foodie's heaven.

A 20 minute wait in the queue to enter Pattapatti Sidappa's house boosted the trio's appetite with one of them being a regular, one a future customer for life and the third one a newbie. While the omni-present "Kumaranna" served one "tuppa-khali" after another, the hungry lads munched on.

2 idlis, 2 tuppa khalis and one half-rice later, the unthinkable and un-imaginable happened.

The arrival of the half masala-dosas for the trio brought salivating, eye-popping stares from the fellow customers. While the regular and the would-be-customer-for-life gleefully offered their plates to devour the much awaited half-masala, the newbie placed his hand half an inch above his plate signalling his denial for the half-masala. (half-masala at Siddappa: The third greatest invention of all time, with the first being "Pappu" and the second being "i-Pod").

Time came to a standstill, the earth stopped rotating on it's axis, bandes started thinking, software engineers started working and several other impossible things happened all at once. This gesture brought about stares so vicious, the stares that could've burnt houses from the fellow customers. Some of them had expressions on their faces which displayed a host of emotions, from anger to surprise, all at the same time. Kumaranna himself was the most surprised of the lot and muttered an unmistakable "D'oh". Till date, no one had ever, ever, refused a half-masala at Sidappa!!! The only happy person was the lady sitting next to the newbie, who literally pounced on the dosa before the newbie could change his mind.

The newbie tried to make amends by apologizing and devouring another half-masala (which arrived 20 mins later) but the damage had been done. Mankind would never be the same again.

Interesting story, wasn't it? It most definitely wasn't a fictitious one - a story based on three lives which would never remain the same thereafter. The regular - Karthik MV, the future-customer-for-life : Myself and the newbie (and the anti-hero) of this story - Sarang.

People say life goes on, but this act will have significant impact on the lives of these three. For Karthik, he will never be treated again with the same respect at Sidappa; Sarang: Shrinks have already started analysing the various causes that might have led him to do the un-thinkable and for me: I'm still pissed-off that the half-masala went to the lady on the other side of Sarang and not to me.

Sunday, March 02, 2008

Planet Of the APES

'Tis been a month and half since I've posted something worthless. In other words, I've been accumulating truckloads of bullcr@p that I can dump on unsuspecting individuals who happen to visit this blog either by chance or 'coz of repeated nagging from moi. Me has always believed that some people can be extraordinary jackasses and me plans to enlighten more people about that. (Dont be surprised if you see a halo after reading this post).

Recently, I had to visit Mumbai for some reason that can be classified underSection2320923 of IPC. And for that, me had to book a two way flight from B'lore to Mumbai. Me return flight was at 8.30pm from Mumbai and it got cancelled. (Thanks to that I was offered FREE dinner at the OBEROI!!!!!). As a result of this, i was offloaded to some other International Flight that happened to be passing by Mumbai. The point to be noted here is that the flight was at 3am.(Me has never seen that time of the day).

Sitting at the airport I happened to chance upon a couple of weirdos who could be preserved and displayed in some museum. Sample this:

Airport Authority (at the flight boarding gate): "Ahmedabad, Ahmedabad, Ahmedabad!!!"
(Now those of you who've visited the Majestic Bus Stand in B'lore will know the kind of tone that I am referring to).
And here's what our pal had to say to all those passengers who were entering that terminal after their security checks and passport stampings: "Ahmedabad, Ahmedabad??" (in a questioning tone).
Me thinks: "DUDE, what the Fudge is the Public Announcement System for?!!!@#&%$#*"

And just as I thought that this was the limit, in comes Mr Smarty Pants, well dressed, carrying a laptop bag.

Airport Authority: "Ahmedabad?"
Smarty Pants : "Haan.. Ready Hai???"
Me mutter to myself: (with the choicest of swear words): "What the *&%$!!!! Do you have an option to take another flight. Heck, this aint a bus stand where you take a bus that's ready to leave, birdbrain. (More curse words)."

And mind you, all this is happening at 2am at an "International Airport"!!!

If you think that's all, hang on, there is more in store. Me boards flight, me promptly drifts into slumber.
Suddenly, me feel something shaking. Then me realize that the something is my body and some external force is applying pressure to shake me body. Me wake up groggy eyed only to see an air-host (NOTE: not an air-hostess).

Me: "Have we arrived?"
Air-"Host" - " No Sir, here's your snack"
Me check time: 4.00 am (!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!)
At un-earthly hours, me brain doesn't function properly and cannot recollect swear words. So, thanks to the short-circuiting of some of the nerves in my brain, me uttered some curse words that sounded something like this: "htryl garb bwjel ajworyw ereradfa"
Me thinks at least me will have snack: Me open box and me find 2 slices of bread which half a slice of cheese in between and a visiting card that says "We hand-pick the choicest of food for our invaluable customers"
Me pished big-time.

Now, moving away from the airport incident(s), me was going to work and me found this instruction written on a government building "DO NOT URINATE". Me being a simpleton and a person who does not want to get into the wrong side of the law, promptly decided to obey this order issued by the government. It so happened that my biological system is least concerned about the Indian Laws and me had to break the law after me controlled myself from urinating for over 4 hours. (The police are probably on the lookout for me now). Me thinks that the instruction should've been "Do not urinate HERE", but who knows, me is an uneducated duffer and me takes little or no interest in local affairs.

Sample another one: Here's a direction finder board that displayed in big bold letters on JC Road:

K.R Market Majestic Richmond Road

As far as I know, one could reach majestic by going straight ahead instead of digging and going underground!!!

With that, i've dumped all the bullcr#p that had existed in my system for a month and a half.

Before I sign off, here's a killer one:
Gyan on the back-side of autorickshaw: "LIFE IS DRAMA. MAN IS ACTOR"
Me: "D-U-H!!!!!!"

Tuesday, January 15, 2008

Native Hangover

Back to Bloggyland after a seemingly long period of inactivity. (Read as Non-availability of topics).

First of all, I would like to offer my tribute to the person who, though technically speaking was not my grandmother, was as doting as my other Grannies. I feel a stab of pain when I recollect some fond memories of her... And a pang of guilt surges as I could not be beside her when she breathed her last. May Rohinakka's soul R.I.P.

Secondly, I doff my hat to iPod, the second greatest (i really mean greatest) invention of all time, the first being "Pappu" (A delicacy made out of Dal, available at Andhra Style restaurants... Slurrp...Slurrp).

Back to my post. Me just returned back from Tirthalli and it's taking some time for me to return to normalcy. I could safely say that the past 3-4 days were some of the best-est days of my recent times. I could describe the trip in 6 words flat (not counting the hyphens): Eat-Sleep-Eat-Sleep-More Sleep. In the process, I haven't done anything good to my ever increasing waist size. I might add that there were few instances of sheer lunacy (good enough to get us admitted into Ashok mama's hospital) that fit into this eat-sleep cycle.

Sample this: Sitting in the crowded hotel-beside-the-busstop at Tirthalli and ordering North Indian Delicacies that I/we (read as Dharmashree Rao and your's truly) haven't tried in B'lore. (Disclaimer: They were delicious). Whilst waiting for our order, singing loudly enough to have attracted attention from say, half of tirthalli. (P.S. Anushree and Nidhi were really dignified in their behavior. From the corner of my eye, i could see them trying to disassociate themselves from us).

Or this : 4 of us fatsos (fatso would be an understatement) squeezing into a bed (that was made for a 1 normal size person or at max 2 really really thin people) and successfully dozing off for about 3 hours. The pic should prove that I'm not exaggerating.

How bout this: Going to the TTH (TTH - ThirThaHalli) bus stand on Sunday morning with all bag and baggage ready to go back to B'lore/M'lore and then just before boarding the bus changing our mind, deciding to stay back for another day, sending back our bags with a stunned-Duttumama (He was all set to get rid of us.. hehehe) and then boarding the same bus to go to Bhadravati instead to visit Jayashree Doddamma. And if you think that was all, hang on... Singing our way to glory in a bus full of townsfolk and attracting "you-must-be-from-outerspace" looks.

Or going to a Mallu restaurant in Shimoga!!!!!! (Wowow... Mallus even in Shimoga!!!!! And of all places we had to go there!!!) and ordering a "Cocke" (I mean "Coke"). Can it get any worse??(Disclaimer: I dont mean any disrespect to Mallus, but they're there just about, say, everywhere).

Enough said, let me get to the actual post.(I'm assuming that the readers have managed upto this point painstakingly). When me thinks of me childhood, the first thing that comes to me mind is TTH. A haven of fun and frolic...I've never spent a boring day in TTh. From times immemorial (immemorial atleast to me), me has always looked forward to go to what others call "native" and what I call "home away from home". And each time I go there I remember some of the wonderful times I've had with my cousins (In descending order: Ganeshanna, Shilpakka, Madhavanna, Dharmashree Akka, Shruthi, Dharmaraj, Anushree and Nidhi), my uncles and aunts who have been surrogate parents to me when i've been there( 'm reallly really lucky - and I thank my stars for having such wonderful relatives. Note: 'Wonderful' would really be an understatement). From making paper boats (using Kodachaadri newspaper) to eating Gobi Manchuri at 10pm sitting on the bridge, I can just say "Been there...Done That".

Recollecting some of the noteworthy incidents at Tirthalli:
-> Walking all the way to Koppa circle under the scorching sun, all for a Maaza, and then getting conned. (Ganeshanna, you owe us one. :D :D).
-> Having a stone throwing competition at Kalsaara, and then getting blasted left, right and center by a lady.
-> Playing hide and seek behind the pillars and getting Madhavanna Out. (The modus operandi was scream "Madhavanna, there is something behind you" and voila he used to run from his hiding place).
-> Sleeping on the "Upparige" Joola oblivious to the entire outside world.
-> Feeding(should I say overfeeding) a cow to the point of indigestion.
-> Duttumama's jokes... (Chit Chaat Chataal , Guddi Guddi etc).
-> Maralugudde. (Can write a post on that, but will restrict myself).
-> And lots more. (Thanks to my memory I haven't been able to recollect all of them. Please do leave a comment of your memorable incidents).

And each time I leave from the place (or about to leave from the place), this is the feeling:
"Yeh Ghadi Na Jaaye Beet" (Song: Aa laut ke aaja, Movie: Rani Roopmati).

Me thinks if there is any place called Heaven, it has to be at this house by the riverside in this small town called Kuruvalli. I rest my case.