Monday, July 23, 2007

Cupid Strikes the ME!

Readers, non-readers, aliens, other kind of species who know how to operate a computer, here is a request: Please, and I repeat, Puhleez, bear with this post of mine. Request you to read the enitre post no matter how disgusting or how repulsive it is, no matter how faggy it appears, no matter how obviously cliched it might sound, kindly devote some of your valuable time and read this to the last bit, for, I am sure, many of you or atleast some of you might have experienced something similar, something wonderful, something magical.

I have always believed in the fact that there is someone, somewhere in the whole wide world, who is made for you and just you. Someone, with whom you'd love to spend the rest of your life, however short it might be. Someone, whose mere presence would raise your spirits. Someone, of whom, you simply cannot have enough. Someone, who makes you feel happy, secure and appreciated.

There comes a time in life, when you have to choose. Choose between that special someone and the rest of the world. You will be envied by some, admired by others when you are seen with this special someone. And no matter how tough it might be, you'd be ready to do anything, I mean, anything and everything, to be with this special someone.

In short, it means that you are in LOVE with that special person. Having said this, I hereby announce to the world and am proud to do so: I AM IN LOVE.

Realization struck me as I began to exhibit certain strange tendencies, like blabbering nonsense, muttering incoherently when I'm with my sweetheart. My heart beat quickens, my mind goes blank, hands go numb every time I see this person. I feel a pang of jealousy if I see any another person with this person, an urge to rip that person's heart and feed it to the dogs. I'd go to any extent, resort to any extreme means to reach out to this person. It has become a quest, a quest to the point of obsession to make this special person mine. When I look into the eyes of the person in question, I realize the true meaning of life. Life is the person, that person is life.

Although I am deeply in love with this person, my feelings haven't been reciprocated. I feel lost at times, depressed at other times and I always have this feeling that this person shall never be mine. I have been trying to fight a losing battle within my heart. The sane part of me, tells me that I should forget about this person and get on with life. The other part of me tells me that I should pursue my heart's desire, for, there is nothing else that matters to me.

Folks, I've uploaded this post just to reach out and seek help from all those who have loved, loved and lost. Could you please help me get out this state of madness? Could you suggest a remedy to cure me of this illness? Could you help me to unite with my sweetheart? If yes, please find the attached picture(s) of my sweetheart:

You can either transfer the same to my bank account or give it to me in person. It's all up to your convenience. The various caps or slabs that can be transferred can be obtained from one of my previous posts: Money Matters (Most)

Sunday, July 15, 2007


Today's Annual General Body meeting (AJM) was probably the last one where all the members of Time Pass Gang Private Ltd, together spent quality time in Pizza Hut, had some hearty laughs and did Time Pass viz the main motto and the concept behind the inception of this company. There were two conspicuous absentees - Tiger (he wouldn't have missed this one otherwise) and Kunta (due to his recent expulsion).

Bubba is leaving for Mumbai to pursue his higher studies. Will probably see glimpses of him when he comes on vacation / intership. Same case with Bakra, but he's goin to be gone for a long time. We dont expect him to be back from the US of A very soon. Bande aka Deepak will be visiting the States on official purposes and we might not get to see him for the next part of the year.

This is just the beginning. There are still 5 board members of TPGPL but nah, the "gang" is as good as dissolved. The whole thing was well summarized by Bubba - "... And then there were none).

Wish you all the very best dudes, for all your future endeavours and yeah, keep the TimePass flag flying high.

One last hurrah to TPGPL... ADIOS AMIGOS.

Monday, July 09, 2007

Project Management - A Practical Approach

Hah... I'm back after a long period of inactivity... Attribute that to my laziness, one of my newly discovered hidden talent...Being a couch potato is cool...Specially, when you have a dear mom who doesn't mind you sitting idly infront of the TV for nearly the whole day...

aaah...digressing too much from the intended topic of the post... Recently, I visited a book fair in which curiousity got the better of me and I visited a section which on almost all occasions, I conveniently ignore - the 'Management' section. (Huh..Who needs all that when you've got loads of fiction and fantasy).

There were these books that caught my eye "10 top HR strategies to retain employees", "How to keep your employees happy", so on and so forth... Flipped through a few of such books and there were truckloads of bul*crap that said, keep fun activities...Colour the walls... ask the Managers to motivate them , blah blah blah...

Now here is what I would do if I were the manager/HR/something other than the usual geek who sits infront of the computer typing "#include stdio.h" (I guess I got the syntax wrong ... but hell...the Microsoft editor will point that out to me)...

* Beg, borrow, steal (whatevar), get a project from PlayBoyy / Cosmopollitan /Pennthouse or similar magazines / TV channels.
Now, how would I convince them to give me a project? Boy, they dont need no convincing... All I need to do is tell them that people at our place are looking for an embedded device in the shape of a Playboyy bimbette. And voila!!! I have the project.

Now, imagine the reaction of an employee when he hears that he will be part of a Playboyy project.. (WOWWWW!!!!!! Boy... Aint I living in a fantasy world). Which sane employee would leave the luxury and the benefits (read as favors) that can be obtained by working in such a project and jump to another company? There, you've taken care of attrition - one of the most feared words (feared by HR only) in the IT industry.

* Let us assume that some dude who is addicted to the net (read as surfing all banned and explicit sites) has seen enough of Playboyy and wants to quit to do lesser serious stuff. Send him onsite to the Playboyy office. This can be done on a round robin basis as well.

Sample this :

Software Engg 1(with full enthu): Magas, me is going onsite tomorrow, for one week.
Software Engg 2: Aaa naaice maga, which project?? (He'll be laughing internally, thinking... "what a jerk... he is so excited about going onsite.. I've been there 4 times).
Software Engg 1: aa Playboyy maga.
Software Engg 2: Playboyy is good..Sorry, the best.. But who is your client???
Software engg 1: macha.. Playboyy is my client. And some I-don't-have-brains-rest-all-is-fine chick is my manager there maga. I've heard that corporate couches are a must there.

News spreads fast and all his friends i.e. Software engineers (The world is filled with software engineers... Throw a stone high in the air.. 9 out of 10 times it will land on a Software engineer)...Coming back to my earlier statement.. Now all his friends will be queing up to join this company... There you go...Growth achieved...

Growth achieved, attrition curbed... what else do you want for a company to grow?? More projects??? Huh... With such projects being executed, who wouldn't want to be your client????

* One last point... Imagine, the benefits you would get if you execute the project well. (there is no "if"... I'd slog my arse off if it were to be Playboyy)... Ok... I'm still imagining the benefits... Free Playboyy magazines and cds to every employee... Plus, as a yearly bonus, 2 playboy models get to visit the offshore development center.. Man O Man...My imagination has gone into overdrive.

I've just kept Playboyy as the benchmark. You could always start off with other B grade local magazines as well... And for the other set of people who pretty much get disgusted with Playboyy and similar magazines... Hunt for a project on Man's World or similar magazines.

Ummm... I'd better have a talk with my manager regarding this... Who knows, I might get lucky...

Saturday, July 07, 2007

Fortune favors the Me

This post is/was not pre-planned. Just saw my orkut homepage and this is what I saw:

Dad - THANKS A TON!!!!!!