Saturday, May 19, 2007

PUB-(H)LIC VENTURE

After a lot of pondering, confusion and innumerable no of phone calls, we decided to visit one of the pubs in Bangalore. Purple Faze or Haze or some such thing... For starters, I've got no clue as to what these guys think while naming the pubs.. And me being a saint that I am, have (mis)understood 'pub' to be a prefix of the word 'lication'.

All said and done, the five of us met at this place Purple Gaze and me was in the highest of spirits...(Not in the literal sense. I abstain from consuming spirit). When I first looked at this place I felt the same way as any Muggle(non-wizard) would after seeing No 12, Grimmauld Place(For details, read Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix, Chapter 2/3).

When I yanked the door open, a blast of 'something' hit me and I'm positively sure I do not know what that something was. (Or to be more precise, I cannot describe what that something was). I saw some creature that remotely resembled a homo-sapien writhing on the floor convulsing rapidly. The 'playing-the-good-samaritan' instincts took over and I searched for a piece of iron to give it to this person who was suffering from a bout of fits. Thankfully, I stopped myself, (just in time), seeing a lot of people not bothered about him and going about their daily routine without so-much as a glance towards him. Karthik had the grace to shout over the din that he was 'Ed-barging'. (or was it 'Head Banging'?)
Phew!!! Pub visitors - 1 Bhargav - 0

5 min later I had a distinct feeling of something throbbing and it took me another 5 minutes to realize that the 'something' happened to be my head. Sitting right next to the source of the noise (the TV/screen/something where a few more crazy dudes were clanging all the metals that can be found in the Periodic Table), gave me an opportunity to observe the 'crowd'(The sole reason for me to visit that place was because of an anonymous tip-off who mentioned that the place would be swarming with the offsprings of Hens). The dudes and dudettes all the other tables were rocking back and forth.(something that looked like a continuous sequence of "I'm gonna fall now.. Oh no, I'm not.. I'm gonna fall now.. No, I'm not")... Whacky antics to attract a person's attention...
Pub visitors - 2 Bhargav - 0

Couple of minutes later, some guy came up to me and whispered something into my ear... (On any normal occasion, I'd have thought that this guy was making advances..but sanity prevailed here)... After running and re-running whatever he said to me for umpteen no of times in my mind, I figured out that he was the waiter asking us to place our order... Me being a toteetaler (or was it teetotaler), had to nudge Karthik (who seemed to be rocking like a pendulum)to place the order. Several minutes/hours/light-years after that, this waiter came to our table holding something that looked like an oversize candle with something sticking out.. Sibin,Karthik and Sarang took deep puffs and blew out smoke while it was a quite a funny scene watching Chubby do it..(he took a deep breath and inhaled some of the stuff but to our amusement, nothing came out). (Note: Me abstains from inhaling anonymous liquids/gases). Oh, i'd just found out that that candle with a wick was popularly known as "Hukka".
Pub Vistors - 3 Bhargav - 0

3 Pitchers later, tongues were loosening and Sarang, Sibin and Karthik were muttering something about "Salvation", "Best friends", "I'm not drunk totally"... (That's what everyone says..I mean, who would want to admit it that they are drunk"). I had an urge to rush up to the bartender/DJ and ask him to play Kishore Kumar songs (that too slow ones), but again, the rush of adrenalin was stemmed when Karthik gave me a "You-must-be-a-wierdo-to-do-that" look. (Plus, the urge to eat curd rice at that point of time had to be curbed due to the same reasons).
Pub Visitors - 4 Bhargav - 0

At 11.15, the owners of the Pub had the courtesy and the decency to turn off the music... (thank the present Govt for the late night rules, version 0.3 reviewed by HDK himself). By this time, it was me who was muttering gibberish (though I hadn't touched a drop of that goddam* alcohol). Karthik stood up to imitate some jack-ass who was playing an imaginary guitar, but thank god, they switched off the TV.. (Else, I would have seen two rare species on the same night)..
Pub Visitors -4 Bhargav - 1

I reached home almost at midnight, after dumping Karthik at Sarang's place. Sibin was hollering loudly about eating an ice-cream. Sarang was laughing for any and every sentence. Karthik wore dark sunglasses while he sat behind me. (to think of it - Dark glasses at midnight. We were close to getting arrested for such a pathetic sense of dressing). Chubby was having a "What-the-heck-have-I-gotten-myself-into" look.


I was lucky, my parents were sleeping, else I'd have gotten a huge boot in my backside. And I also happened to set a record for being the first person to have visited a pub without having a drink/smoke whatsoever. (And yet, had a set of clothes that were stinking and I was smelling as if I'd just walked out of a gas chamber..Just hoping that my mom doesn't get to know).

And if you think I'm never gonna visit a pub again...HECK, YES, I WILL!!!! Not to smoke or to booze but just to increase the count to Pub Visitors - 4 Bhargav - 4!!!

27 comments:

Karthik M V said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Karthik M V said...

Maga this seems to be an attempt to showcasing urself as the good boy ;)
Anyways good post and something similar happend to us also last night, drunk shailesh and shariq, victim shitiz.........

dharmu said...

bro, remember my pubby story when went to a pub for the first time???

this reminded me of that, but very well written!!!

EnigmaFan said...

Enidu? yaarna impress maaDo plan? pub ge hOde adre didnt touch a thing anta ella? ;)

Bhargav said...

@karthik mv: This is not an attempt to showcase myself as a good boy.. I AM A GOOD BOY!!
And thanks for the other comment which you deleted..Increased the number of comments in my blog.. Please continue the good work..

@Dharmu: Yeah...I do remember vaguely.. Could you please send me the link once again(me memory very poor..Want to re-read it).

@Enigmafan:(thinking aloud to myself: How the hell did you get to know :):) )Ok..Actual reason: pub ge hode adre dint touch a thing - Hogid reason e bere viz "...because of an anonymous tip-off who mentioned that the place would be swarming with the offsprings of Hens".

Shailesh said...

I just felt that carpet skipping off my legs, you dont booze!!! Man I had thought that you must have been a barrel capacity!! Total mistake!!!
btw, didnt know you were fond of Non-Muggles.. I too am...

Bhargav said...

@Shailesh: Two things dude:
1. What gave you the impression that I booze and have the capacity to guzzle a barrel????????? Honestly, you are the first guy to have said this... I should probably start working out, and try to focus on reducing my paunch (which you mistook to be a beer belly).

2. As far as non-Muggles aka Wizardary is concerned, calling me 'fond' would be an understatement..Me is absolutely crazy about 'em... Makes me feel sometimes that I've got wizarding powers as well.. :)... Eagerly awaiting the last of the Potter Series..

Abhishek said...

whatever may be the intention of this entry,
the Language looks amazing!
Amazing enough to reach me!

good one

karthik said...

Magas, as I dont remember(ahrrr, dont know, probably) wat happened after we entered the pub, I have no right to comment on the content ;). Nicely written one.
U forgot to mention the weird cooling "sun" glass that guy wore in the night.(GOD!! I dont understand how ppl can do such things to get attracted;) )

Aslan said...

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Purple_Haze_%28disambiguation%29 - enough reasons to name the pub thus, methinks! and thanx fer linking me. will do likewise :) should do wonders for that hit counter.

Sac said...

The topic chosen is refreshingly different..Pub city boy speaks out after years of frustration..:)

As a common man--I feel the language in some places is unnecessarily devious.
U need to keep in mind that too much is too bad..Hi-funda english should be used but interspersed with digestable words..

As a blogger-- Good one man..Fellow bloggers will appreciate nuances in this write-up.I dint like the humor though which I thought was sorta thrust upon us..
All in all,nowhere close to ur INTERNAL MATTERS blog.I rest my case..

@Karthik MV--U seem to have the habit of deleting 1 comment each time and I think u are merely following instructions..2 points macha..

1)Thatha(Mr Bhargav)is a vothla senior..Dont be scared of him.

2)Do visit my blog sometime and leave a(or 2) comments.. :)

http://sacshan.blogspot.com

Shariq said...

First of all. congrats bhargav to spend such an evening at Purple Haze and not consuming anything...that is quite an accomplishment...U want to go to a pub just to increase the count??? Do that sitting at home or office..coz if you go there your count will fail miserably..believe me..... :)

EnigmaFan said...

sikkidra yaradru offsprings of hens :D

Sriram Rajagopal said...

You Pig fuckers didnt call me... screw you guys i am going.. er.. hmm.. well.. can you please take me next time around..

nikhil said...

nicely written.....

but junta, can someone testify these assertions??

Bhargav said...

@Abhishek: You will know the intention behind this in my next blog.

@Karthik Sr: I have mentioned that as well - "...wore dark sunglasses while he sat behind me. (to think of it - Dark glasses at midnight. We were close to getting arrested for such a pathetic sense of dressing)"

@Aslan aka Kutty: Thanks for the info. Hoping to see my name in ur blog...(that'll be a real honour).. :)

@Sac: The only reason why i haven't disassociated myself from you is because you've termed this post to be refreshing. :) . About the other comments, refrain from making them next time around. Btw, could you please elaborate the statement "...humor though which I thought was sorta thrust upon us..."
And dont you dare try to woo the patrons of this blog (read as Karthik MV) into commenting in your blog.

@Shariq: As I've mentioned before, the intent of going to this pub was "...because of an anonymous tip-off who mentioned that the place would be swarming with the offsprings of Hens". I was sadly disappointed though.

@Enigmafan: Sorry to say that I dint find any of those species but the other kind of species were in abundance...But, being an optimist, I won't let this one-off incident bog me down.

@Sriram: If I remember right, the doctor had operated on something we all know as "appendix" but he made a terrible mistake. (I'm not goin to mention that). So, thought that it won't be safe for girls to venture into pubs late at night..

@Nikhil: Thanks pal... To testify for this blog, senior karthik has already commented, plus awaiting the comments from the other three dudes..

kd said...

was a close contest uh..

good u were content with a tie
a victory would have been better :P..

besides a peg would have taken you to record scores unimagined of..

vinu said...

Hey Bhargav,
You have jotted down a very nice blog here. Definitely the first thing that strikes for anyone who reads this blog is your writing style and your rich vocabulary....

Very nice writing !!!!!

Now coming to your experience... i think this is a common experince for any person who abstains from alcohol but goes pubbing, but nothing wrong at all in that...

I support the team Bhargav, and will look for the day where your scores are level....

But no extra time in this, a direct penalty shootout !!!!!!

Hari Krishnan said...

@Bhargav : Dude.. now you know how a child feels in a topless bar..All those things that you said("I abstain from consuming spirit".."Me abstains from inhaling anonymous liquids/gases"..) Wat the hell man.. itz because of people like you that my company is making less than 30 crores a day!!!!Itz totally un-kewl man.. totally...
P.S. You are now officially BUTTERS of our "group"

@Sachin: Dude.. You go one up on Thatha nee Bhargav... Cheap Publicity Rocks!!!!

@Sriram: Lo Kunta.. Wat the Freak dude..This is a family blog...we are totally not interested in your sexual preferences(see Pig f@$kers)

Bhargav said...

@kd: At first I thought, the difference in the scores were increasing like the Australian Run-Rate.. Slowed down a bit after i got accustomed to the place.. :)

@Vinay: Thanks a ton.. It was a different experience altogether... (Have exaggerated a bit... I mean, i wasn't that much of a simpleton.. :) )... But yeah, definitely looking to settle the scores... ... WITHOUT THE PENALTY SHOOTOUT!!! :)

@Hari: Dude, honestly, I am disappointed... You should've been the first guy to comment... After all, I'm always the first (and last) to comment in your blog.
And, you cannot claim that I'm causing losses to your company coz in a couple of months time, they'll be claiming the same stuff.. And FYI, I'm not the only one causing losses... I've got a friend by name Hari... (Honestly, you speak as if you bring revenues worth crores to your company)...
And when did I become BUTTERS? I thought I was Stan Marsh...
@Hari's take on Sachin: Agree 100%
@Hari's take on Kunta: Hehehe..Agree once again...

P.S. Did you for a minute think that there is no exaggeration in this post of mine.. about all those acts of a simpleton...(like curd rice, kishore kumar etc..).. If yes, i'm disappointed..I thought you knew me better...

Abhishek said...

Bugger!!!!

What the hell have u written?

All you have mentioned is how good you are/were!

I have had at least 20 ppl coming and asking me when i started to "consume spirit" thanx to you saying that you were the only one who stayed away from it!!!!!

Abhishek said...

And you comfortably forgot to mention the incident where a HOT girl came and gave a you a chocolate thinking you were a small kid and scolded us for having brought a kid to a place like that!

Of course, her boy friend later corrected her saying that you were not a kid but a mentally retarded guy! And we were just trying to help you grow up mentally :P

Ann M said...

i see a drunken brawl by chubby in the comment section.!bet u bribed the others with two shots of tequila,thats why i dnt see there comments here.! sarang,sibin,acharaya karthink is this guy tellin the truth .??

Shariq said...

i completely agree with ann...bhargav definitely must have bribed others so that his drinking secrets do not get spilled out...and what is this that chubby wrote?? i am sure u must have enjoyed the chocolate from the HOT gal ;)

Bhargav said...

@Chubby' Comment #1: Thanks... For acknowledging that I am good... And for those 20 people who asked you as to when you started consuming spirit, you can ask them to read this comment of mine (and if possible, leave another comment here.. :)
Hello 20 people: Chubby dint consume spirit...

There you go...

@Chubby Comment #2: Anything for a HOT girl dude..You know that very well... How I wish, something like that had happened..I wouldn't have minded too much about play-acting the mentally retarded kid... :) :)

P.S. Thanks for comment #2...It increased the count of my comments...

@Ann: For the sake of bhatru, read with your eyes open..Chubby and sr. Karthik have replied to this post.. They have directly or indirectly acknowledged the fact that I dint consume any spirit.. Sibin was too drunk that day to know who all were with him the other day..So, I dint/dont expect a comment from him... Am in the process of bullying Sarang into writing one...

@Shariq: Read the above 2 responses... Hot Girl...Again..anything for a Hot girl.. :)

Shailesh said...

here I come again dude on spl request.. Well your paunch didn't indicate anything!! But just felt that you to be big time boozer!! you carry all the traits of being one..!!! like , ofcourse the prosperous belly, the look on your face, the style... I can actually go on and on..
I too m waiting for the last release man!! and why dont you try to swing your wand sometimes... might work who knows!!! Wizards dont know their powers..!! Just dont be like You-Know-Who..

Atul said...

nice one b(m)aga.. could relate to it very well.... nxt time u will be writing a blog dedicated 2 all the (social) drunkards of our class.