Saturday, February 21, 2009

WHAT THE !!!*&^^%%^$^$

I AM PISSED!! Pissed with AB's baby. Pissed with a certain Ramprakash Omprakash Mehra whatever. Pissed off with a Moto Rockr phone. Pissed off with a stupid pigeon that
hogs more than 5 minutes of screen time.

I mean, come on, which insane moron could put Abhishek Bacchan in the lead role... The only role that suited Abhishek, was that in Dostana (where he was a natural)... Oh..And all the other roles where he dies in Scene 1 - (Good riddance) and the rest of the movie is carried through by other actors. (More about the death part later).Whenever there is Abhishek starring in a movie, you can observe the side actors / actresses, the trees, the backdrops and u'll find their acting better than his. Though it is quite amazing that he can pull off any role by portraying a constipated look.

I am so pissed with this movie called Delhi-6 that i actually began to like "Ghajini"!!!! Whoa!!! "The Ghajini". Infact, Delhi-6 makes Ghajini look like a sensible, well-crafted, enjoyable movie!!!! (More Whoa!!!) (Eyebrows, registering shock, raised so high that they are touching the back of my head)!!!

Another funny part of this movie (unintentional on the part of the director though). Abhishek ATTEMPTING to speak English!!!! And that too with a foreign accent. (Someone should tell him that he needs to work more on his tribal language first, which mostly sounds like Jhingalala Ho, Jhingala Ho, Hur, Hur; before making an attempt to speak ENGLISSSS). Tell you what; AB's baby is a Software Engineer who is on a BIG BIG BENCH!! Who else would come from America and stay indefinitely in India without having any plans of going back...

Right through the first half of the movie, uncle (read as AB's baby) roams around advertising his Moto phone. (Again, Moto has been stupid enough to retain him as a brand ambassador even after they've closed down operations in India. Duh!!!! I diint know that they were dumb enough not to identify that he was the cause for their brand failure in India. I mean, which sane guy would buy a Moto phone that AB's baby endorses!!! Hail India - the land where sensible people

I still haven't been able to figure out what the director was trying to prove by stretching a 5 min movie to over 3 hours. Bugger doesn't have any sense of time. The most important part of the movie, and incidentally, the most entertaining part (where AB's baby was lynched by a thoughtful mob) lasted just for 5 min. I had offered to pay Su and the rest of the junta, Rs 10 (out of sheer joy) if AB's baby died in the movie;Rs 100 if he had died in the beginning of the movie. Though I was disappointed that neither happened, I did shell out 10 bucks when they beat the hell out of him. (God, How i hope that the filming of this scene was real)

Now to that godda*n pigeon. Masakali. Why...why..why, pray, does someone have to name that stupid pigeon Masakali and all it does it walk around here and there without adding value.. heck..had it atleast done what it can do best (leave bird-droppings) on the so called Hero's head, I wouldn't have objected for its existence in the movie.

Oh... I'd mentioned that AB's baby hits on Rishi Kapoor as well.. (Which is why I said he was a natural in Dostana).. Sample this: "You know, you are a very good looking guy" followed by "I am from America". I mean, how can anyone (anyone but AB's baby) call that obese, old, white-haired Rishi Kapoor "good looking"???!!!!!

Now for the 4 best parts of the movie:

1. The sensible mob lynching AB's baby.

2. The 5 mins i missed out during the interval buying popcorn. (I realized the importance of having spent those 5 minutes in a productive manner).

3. Sonam Kapoor - The only other value-add (apart from the popcorn) that prevented me from leaving the theater midway (and not shouting obscenities during the course of the movie).

3. Writing this blog after the movie.

And what pissed/pisses me off more than Delhi-6? Vaibhav spilling more than half of my popcorn!!!

P.S. I'm coming out with a new movie called Bangalore - 78 (if that guy can make a stupid 3 hour movie after a Pin code of Delhi, why cant I make a full fledged Kyunki Saas Bhi Kabhi Bahu Thi series with Bangalore?)

P.P.S. Sagar (aka Subbu) came up with this brilliant status msg (very apt as well) which left me in splits. I've taken all necessary permissions from him to upload this as a part of my revised post - Sagar.Leo says : "gosh!! had their will prevailed, d monkeys livin at 110006 wud hv sued AB2 4 portrayin kala bandar"

P.P.P.S Roopam's status msg..another killer status msg...everyone seems to be in form "LATEst on "Bandar mania" :-- Monkey man has been spotted living in PEACE at Jalsa,Juhu,Mumbai-400049 ...wen he gets bored,he does however fly/leap to delhi-(11000)6 and terrorises innocents ;)"


Rishu said...

Thnx Bhargav. I promise i won't watch the movie. And yeah, Bengaluru-78 would have one more viewer for sure!!

ashish said...

thanx a tonne bhargav for such a good insight on the movie.I think junta should pay you half of the amount saved by not watching this movie after such a good review. BTW wen r u coming out with bengaluru-78.

Sachin Shanbhogue said...

U are no particular fan of Small B.. So I knew u wil run him down again in this one.. (BTW I too heard the movie is a drag and it sucks big time)..

Lets now prepare for Bangalore-78, a South Bangalore dream... A movie that u are producing and I am directing..(Cos if it flops u wil be working at the underpass in 15th cross!!!)

Adashtu actors JP Nagara davru irli maga.. Yakandre aa feeel barathe... Bere kade indha bandhre fake maadthare..:D (Ajay Vikas, Karthik, Abhishek SN in right now.. Hunt on for the female leads?!!!)

Hari Krishnan said...

Dude.. I think u shud make the movie as bengaluru 1 aka UVCE!!

sagar said...

wel said...wish i read dis blog of urs 12 hrs earlier, i wud hv bn saved 100bucks!!

Karthik said...


Its actually shocking that you hate AB Baby going by the reputation you have earned recently in your college. :)(Not sure how many of you would understood this)
Eitherways, thanks for the heads up info, u defenitely saved 100 bucks. So one SIDAPPA DOSE from my side this time u come to bangalore

Vikas said...

M reading this blog of urs in MAY ...but i generally dont watch Mr 17 straight flops in bollywood