Saturday, January 06, 2007

TESTIMONIALS FOR ALL MY FRIENDS

People,
Contrary to my previous posts which actually did not mean whatever I'd written...
Here is a post that comes truly from thy heart and everything written here is intentional and is intended to be
personal (quite contrary to the "Nothing Personal about it..")...
Lemme cut the crap and get straight to the point...

Of all the "crappy" set of fags I've got as friends (Note: Statement used by kunta in reply to my previous post and
I put a disclaimer here) I thought it would be a nice gesture on my part if were to reveal a few of their traits/personality/behaviour/whatever to mankind. This is a goodwill gesture on my part to homosapiens, so that they
dont form any "first impressions" about these people.


Let me start with the femme fatales (with due respect to the people of the opposite sex) first:
Also, names have been changed to protect privacy.

1. Nish:
- Also known as Jane Bond.For details refer holyplanet.com. The others know what i'm refering to
- Associated with alternate streets, roads, etc
- Mother to most kids including me.
- One of the butt of our marriage jokes (read on to find the other one)
- Respects Bangalore muls and condemns Geralites. (Any takers????)
- Has a pact with Sriram. (watch F.R.I.E.N.D.S for more details)

2. Shett
- Huge fan of Aishwarya Rai and other similar people
- The other person i mentioned in the previous para.
- Anti-Bandes
- Anti-Congress
- Tries to maintain "miss two goody shoes" impression but fails miserably.

3. Nachi
- The very fact that I've included him in this category is sufficient.

Moving on to the "Macho Men"

1. Hari:
- Hates Muls
- Hates Hippies
- Hates Bongs
- Hates the rest of mankind
In that order
- Self proclaimed gay

2. Deepak:
- Biggest Bande Hater
- Eric cartman of the group. Need I say more

3. Kunta:
- Pro Bande
- Pro congress
- Semi Pro Communism
- Tweek of the first order
- Big Asshole
- Considered to be a fag by many including yours truly.
- Butt of most jokes (unknown to him though)

4. Sharath:
- Most punctual
- Has a trace of English accent (DISCLAIMER: I am quoting Hari)
- Will tell you more about him once I understand what he speaks. (Again, Quoting Hari)

5. Yours truly
- The floor is all yours. Go to Comments -> Post a comment and start typing..

6. Tiger: ASE - Aunty Social Element (Thanks deepak). As the name suggests, this dude has totally the hots for any lady above the age of 40. He loves them preferably b/w the age of 50 and 120.Has taken up every shitty exam under the sun and has done this just to kill time.Absolutely concerned on the livelyhood of others esp. taxi drivers, pani-puriwallas etc. Hates MNC's esp the food joints but a huge fan of Pizzas and burgers.

7)Bakra : Named so for the obvious reasons.Is the living example of the phrase "Horny as a trout". Always looking for opportunities for meeting girls and this can be in the most innappropriate of situations(ex: he will do this to a bride at her wedding)

7 comments:

Bhargav said...

@hari:

1) Showing signs of reverting back to ur prev sexual preferences. Considered to be the gay magnet. (Due to obvious reasons. New year being the most prominent)

2. Tiger's reaction (Did I just hear the word Aunty anywhere)

3. Bakra: I'm sure won't have the time to read all this.. Will be hunting for Friend's friends friends friends friends brothers gf..

4. I dont know whether the equation with stan marsh is a complement or a remark.. I assume it is the former

5. Ashoka: Paste the pic of a football here to get him to read this post

Anonymous said...

NO COMMENTS....LETS DISCUSS ABOUT THIS NEXT TIME WE MEET...IF YOU HAVE THE BALLS TO DO IT.

Anonymous said...

Heheheh .... Awesome timepass!!!

My additions ...

Nisha & Shetty - Dont know !

Before I start about the rest ... one important fact

LKBs (@#$s) rock and I have great repect for them

Nachi - Sucks at being an @#$
Rating : * into Tiger
( To be read as 1 star multiplied by tiger)

Sharath - a misunderstood @#$ i.e he's an @#$ and we havent understood tht ... thks to him being pachka pachka !

Rating : * 1/2 into Tiger

BM : Until 2nd PUC he thought all holes were meant for eating - Dodd @#$ !

Rating : ** into Tiger

Hari - Most Understood @#$ ... always ready with facts and figures to prove his level of @#$ness

Rating : *** into Tiger

Kunta - He thinks the world has only two places - Bangalore and Goa ! WHAT AN @#$ !

Rating : *** 1/2 into Tiger

Barbar - Most seasoned @#$!

Rating : **** into Tiger

Tiger - He's not an @#$

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Anonymous said...

Who is this zhengcunye? i guess its nachi..

Anonymous said...

What an ENTRY!!! My God!! :D

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