Sunday, November 26, 2006

AAAAA BALLZ

Dudes and Dudettes, request you to kindly ignore my earlier post on the Indian Cricket Team (mebbe I was sloshed when I wrote that). Anyways, here's my message to the individual members of the Cricket Team. Hope dept of posts hand delivers this to our "boys" who are getting f*&ked in the backside in some remote continent.

@Sehwag: I guess the milk you've been drinking isn't coming from the right sources. Try Amul milk next time.

@Kaif: Try for the 100m dash in some slum in your hometown. You might come second.

@Raina: Go study for your class IX exams

@Mongia: You must be a real ass-licker to still be in the team. I guess your tongue might be worn out by now after all the licking

@Dhoni: Mysore sandal soap isn't making you any fairer. Try Lux next time.

@Agarkar: Stand in front of the mirror and practice some emotions.

@Harbhajan: Try Rapidex English speaking course. Helps you to curse better.

@Pathan: Year's ago people termed you as a potent weapon with the ball. Dude, go watch some PORN. You're impotent!

@Dravid: No use mate, you need the other guys to perform as well. You can as well stay at home.

@Sachin: Dude, dont think I'm gonna call you the last crusader etc etc. YOU SUCK BIG TIME!

@Dada: Go Fu&K yourself!

@Any others in the team: Do some ads right away. This may be your last chance.

@Guru Greg: I've got two words for you "UP YOURS!"

Indian Cricket is Dead. Long Live Indian Cricket!

4 comments:

Anonymous said...

Well !!!
Bhargav u r spot on!!
All the roles assigned by u to diff players r tailormade to those futile players!!


and u sounded the likes of a typical bollixed-up indian !!!

Well this is the opine of millions of indians now!!

In a country like india[where cricket is contemplated to be a religion],ppl r too fad about the game of 6sticks,a willow,and a globule weighing 1 pound!!

Each time 11 meatheads jaunt on to the cricketing cropland,they r representing a country of billions of cricketing fans who always r acquisitive of india winning every single match!!

And the result of the southafrican tour and prior tours have led a rupture of indian cricketing fans...

a difference of opinion has started to prevail betwixt indians!! All start commenting on in their own way!!! some want some ex-players to be back and some ask for the justification of some idiotic players in the team!!

well.this is the country with the utmost volatility!! and guess wat?? inspite of all this downtrodden team,ppl still stick to idiot-box hoping an indian-win!!

God save the country and its cricketing buffs!!

dharmu said...

well done, looks like you are at your satirical best!!!

Anonymous said...

Dude.... I know that you are angry with the Indian team.. I mean who isn't... Got an idea... Here are the mail ids of the Indian cricketers..Give them heck ;-)

1.LAXMAN:
available@home-only.com

2.GANGULY:
nowdays@no_use.com

3.KUMBLE:
only@test_match.com

4.SACHIN:
admitted@hospital.com

5.KAIF:
good@for_nothing.com

6.SEHWAG:
consistently@out_of_form.com

7.DRAVID:
stick@crease_like_fevicol.com

8.PATHAN:
takewickets@only_with_kenya.com

9. GREG CHAPPELL
only_experiment@noresult.com

10. Munaf Patel
only_line&length@nospeed.com

11.Harbhajan Singh
no_spinpitch@nowicket.com

12. Suresh Raina
why_i_am_there@god_knows.com

kishore...... The crazy Indian fan said...

Though i'm late in leavin my comment.. This is well said..Inspite of all the critisism, yet BCCI is not ready to show the hard stick for these f..krs..This one good reason is enough for Indian Cricket to loose its fans n the craze..

Wining and loosin is part of a game.. but the issue here isn't abt loosing the world cup.. its the attitude of the players and the team management, which is hurting the most.........

Hope to see good days in Indian Cricket..