Recap: These two posts (check out the previous one as well) are dedicated to a good friend of mine (Harikrishnan S aka Students aka Arbitrary Hari).. He has been bestowed with the honorary Arbitrary title because of his ability to speak bullsh*t fluently. Only those close to him know that he is bullsh*tting while lesser mortals look at him in awe. Read on to know more about this genlte giant who is also a pukka a**hole.
I'll now relive those moments which saw arbitrary Hari transform into a man of contradictions (note that the steve waugh incident could also be considered for the same but the author has the right to change the roles as and when he likes).
Semester 6 exams had just ended and as usual the four of us (Deepak, Adarsh, Hari and myself) found ourselves in some deep sh*t courtesy the microcontroller paper which nearly left us in tears (DSP was also bad and so were the other 4 subjects, not to mention the labs). Only the 3 of us had been recruited by two "Janata"(mass recruiters) companies i.e. Infy and MindTree. Our pal Hari, as expected, delivered loads of bullcrap in his interviews and ended up goofing them. At this point, Kunta, Deepak, Nachi, Sharath, Meese mama (smiley) and myself (The IEEE - gang) decided to conduct mock interviews for Hari.
Location: Our adda during the IEEE days (PDS mam's room)
Starring: Deepak, Kunta, Smiley, Nachi and Bhargav as the interview panelists of some arbit company (God knows what would have happened to the company if all five of us were in the same company).
Actor in Negative Role: Harikrishnan S
The scene: Hari enters through the door walks all the way to the panelists. All of us are staring at him intently.
Smiley: Did we ask you to come in?
Hari (innocently): Can I come in? (The other four panelists were trying hard to maitain a straight face).
Hari then rests his heavy bu*t on the chair in an awkward manner(God I don't have words to describe how he actually did it).
Smiley: Did we ask you to sit down?
Hari(Springs up on his toes): Can I sit down?
Smiley: What do you have in your hand?
Hari (clutching his resume as if it were his prized possestion): My resume. (doesn't bother to hand it over).
Smiley: So, aren't you supposed to hand it over to us?
Hari (realization dawning over him): Oh,Here sir, Here is my resume (He was still reluctant to part with it).
This was when we decided to stop the interview and made him go over the routine again and again till it resembled something that was acceptable if not perfect.
Note: We had a tough time having him practice some basic etiquettes.
Location: Lecture Complex.(our timepass-adda)
Starring: The same set of people
The scene: Hari has now perfected the art of entering the interview room elegantly and greeting the interviewers. Now to the actual interview.
Kunta: Tell me something about yourself
Hari: Blabbers some nonsense and is done within 15 seconds (surprising for Hari's standards).
Kunta: Ayyo cha*per, blade haku anta chance kottaga blade hakalvalla neenu...
Hari then rants something about himself for about a minute.
Deepak: Are you a money-oriented person?
Deepak: Suppose we pay 4.5 L p.a and tomorrow another company offers you 5 L p.a. will you join them because of the money?
Hari: Yes (we are stunned)
Deepak: That means you are money oriented
Hari: (Unfazedly) Yes
We were trying hard to contain our laughter. (The gravity of the situation demanded so).
Smiley: Are you planning to do higher studies?
Hari: (Emphatic) NO! (Someone had told him that such things should not be mentioned in the interview).
Sriram: Even if the job demands you to do higher studies and if we were to encourage you, would you still opt out?
Hari: (Again, emphatically) NO! I am not going to do my higher studies.
This is when we keyed the term "HARIism" to all those statements that contradicted the previous statements.
After 3 hours of such mock interview, Hari was still the lively man that he always is. I guess, the pic i've attached below describes our state at the end of the mock interview. (I attribute my receding hair line to that day's interview).
Not much has changed since then, but the only thing (a significant development) is that Hari Uncle manages to maitain a straight face (previously, realization used to dawn upon him and this was visible in his facial expression).
Well, there's more to this guy. I've just mentioned the most significant "contradictions" aspect of his. The other aspects are not worth mentioning!
And who knows some day I might get to write another post on another significant contradiction (oops contribution) by Hari!