TPGPL is back with a bang!!!! Today's meeting just proved that...
Anyways, for those of you who've forgotten... Here is a re-introduction of the key-members
CEO Tiger aka "Hemanth":
Claim to Fame: Poli Maathugalu...FreshhandHonest
Quotable Quotes: "Nin hendt....... kodtiya???? Bejar madkollalla...loafer nan magane" (I was at the recieving end :( )
CTO Bande aka "Deepak"
Claim to Fame: Allah ke bande
Quotable Quotes: "Toota toota ek saaman aise toota..."
CFO Kunta aka "Sriram"
Claim to Fame: (In)Famous jump from 5-point something wall, Vagator, Goa / Irrepairable 15 degree bend in left ankle.
Quotable Quotes: "Yamma... Yeno haikonde"
COO Mallu Boy aka "Sharath"
Claim to Fame: Adda
Quotable Quotes: "Adda" / "Ooo f**k" (before falling from bike)
HR BM aka "Bhargav"
Claim to Fame: Darshini, K.R. Circle, Bangalore.
Quotable Quotes: "Sss side ge hogu"
Recently deposed CEO Gay aka Students aka "Hari"
Claim to Fame: Mock Interview
Quotable Quotes: "Steve Waugh bowling mettage baratte.... aaadre pace iratte"
Bladebubba Nachi
Claim to Fame: Bubbalogue
Quotable Quote: Request the rest of the members to fill in
Software Engineers Mom aka Nish
Claim to Fame: Pondi in Placement Office
Quotable Quote: "1 year celibacy..."
Shetty
Claim to Fame: Yet to come
Quotable Quote: "Mmmdddiga".
Request others to post similar intros...
Sunday, November 25, 2007
Saturday, November 03, 2007
Living in a fantasy land
I was planning to gather info for this post and upload it later in the day but this thought struck me suddenly.
Reading a novel akin to Harry Potter, or atleast of the same genre of books, fantasy fiction, got me into thinking about how we wish to live in a deluded world. As I delved more, I found out that these books give you an out of the world experience, an experience which is truly implausible. It is no wonder they are called 'fantasy fiction'. People who haven't read such books might demur at these suggestions and term the others as demented but living in the fantasy world is a lot better than the actual world. The good part about these books is that there are no parallel stories and they are all part of a complex plot.
Most of these stories contain a protagonist who is still in school (the children's fantasy fiction) and has a prophecy made in his name which he/she must fulfil or die trying. There is of course the antagonist who acts as a demoniac. The hero of the book must descry various objects hidden or sometimes even encounter them during the course of his journey to fulfil his prophecy. Most often, the hero is deprived of desideratum in his childhood and sometimes considered as despicable by his peers.
To Be Continued...
Reading a novel akin to Harry Potter, or atleast of the same genre of books, fantasy fiction, got me into thinking about how we wish to live in a deluded world. As I delved more, I found out that these books give you an out of the world experience, an experience which is truly implausible. It is no wonder they are called 'fantasy fiction'. People who haven't read such books might demur at these suggestions and term the others as demented but living in the fantasy world is a lot better than the actual world. The good part about these books is that there are no parallel stories and they are all part of a complex plot.
Most of these stories contain a protagonist who is still in school (the children's fantasy fiction) and has a prophecy made in his name which he/she must fulfil or die trying. There is of course the antagonist who acts as a demoniac. The hero of the book must descry various objects hidden or sometimes even encounter them during the course of his journey to fulfil his prophecy. Most often, the hero is deprived of desideratum in his childhood and sometimes considered as despicable by his peers.
To Be Continued...
Friday, November 02, 2007
Getting Quizzical Pt 2
I tried to aggrandize my existing general knowledge in the past few weeks unsuccessfully. After round 3 i was muttering to myself.."Atleast some of the questions were trite"... Added to that, i had to sit in one place. Having played a truant all my life, this was one place i couldn't excuse myself out.
All the initial hype just turned out to be trumpery. Round 4, 5 and 6 were our rounds as all the turgid questions reduced and the torpor of our team seemed to have vanished. Though these rounds were tortuous, we had answers for most of the quesions. We traiped about answering most and agglomerating a lot of points thus building a healthy lead over the rest of the pack, second only to the top scorers. But then tocsins began to ring as the other teams closed in on the gap and we were unfortunate not to have got a few easy questions our way.
We ended up fourth but still that was a good show considering our start... I can describe the events into a tome but i restrict myself here as i'm feelign quite torpid.. :)
All the initial hype just turned out to be trumpery. Round 4, 5 and 6 were our rounds as all the turgid questions reduced and the torpor of our team seemed to have vanished. Though these rounds were tortuous, we had answers for most of the quesions. We traiped about answering most and agglomerating a lot of points thus building a healthy lead over the rest of the pack, second only to the top scorers. But then tocsins began to ring as the other teams closed in on the gap and we were unfortunate not to have got a few easy questions our way.
We ended up fourth but still that was a good show considering our start... I can describe the events into a tome but i restrict myself here as i'm feelign quite torpid.. :)
Thursday, November 01, 2007
Getting Quizzical
Ok, I am back with the "A Post A Day"...
Today's post describes an area of extra-curricular activity that i'm not good at... i.e. general knowledge...and quizzing has never been my forte... Thanks to being cooped up in my house and watching cartoon network all the time, I thought that my GK had hit rock bottom. But yesterday's quiz finals showed that there is some vestige.
Flash back to my office near Kengeri, a couple of weeks back, there was an announcement that there would be a general quiz contest. A few fellow timepass seekers and I formed a team - "Yakke"... "Yakkow" would've sounded better but sounded too raspy. Expecting a lot of recondite questions as the no of teams were high, we participated for timepass. By a quirk of fate, we got the easiest of questions...well, questions to which we knew the answers. We 'topped' the prelims and were termed as rubber champions, though i'm not sure why we got that tag. Now that left me in a quandary as I neither have/had the quizzing abilities nor did I brush up on my non-existent GK to add value to the team. After a dismal performance in round 2, we had no hopes of qualifying for the finals. Lady luck smiled on us twice and we just managed to scrape through to the finals.
Now, I dint want to go to the finals and get pummelled. Neither did i want to be branded as pusillanimous. Mustering courage I went there and took my seat next to some of the putative(reputed) quizzing giants. I was hoping to purloin some points here and there by hook or crook. After the first three rounds, our team was yet to open the account thanks to some really shoddy answering by your's truly. Added to that, some very easy questions were on the offering and they were devoured by the other teams. But such is the pulchritude of quiz. I had this puerile urge to go and erase all the points on the board so that the quiz would restart and hopefully i could gain a few points.
To Be Continued...
Today's post describes an area of extra-curricular activity that i'm not good at... i.e. general knowledge...and quizzing has never been my forte... Thanks to being cooped up in my house and watching cartoon network all the time, I thought that my GK had hit rock bottom. But yesterday's quiz finals showed that there is some vestige.
Flash back to my office near Kengeri, a couple of weeks back, there was an announcement that there would be a general quiz contest. A few fellow timepass seekers and I formed a team - "Yakke"... "Yakkow" would've sounded better but sounded too raspy. Expecting a lot of recondite questions as the no of teams were high, we participated for timepass. By a quirk of fate, we got the easiest of questions...well, questions to which we knew the answers. We 'topped' the prelims and were termed as rubber champions, though i'm not sure why we got that tag. Now that left me in a quandary as I neither have/had the quizzing abilities nor did I brush up on my non-existent GK to add value to the team. After a dismal performance in round 2, we had no hopes of qualifying for the finals. Lady luck smiled on us twice and we just managed to scrape through to the finals.
Now, I dint want to go to the finals and get pummelled. Neither did i want to be branded as pusillanimous. Mustering courage I went there and took my seat next to some of the putative(reputed) quizzing giants. I was hoping to purloin some points here and there by hook or crook. After the first three rounds, our team was yet to open the account thanks to some really shoddy answering by your's truly. Added to that, some very easy questions were on the offering and they were devoured by the other teams. But such is the pulchritude of quiz. I had this puerile urge to go and erase all the points on the board so that the quiz would restart and hopefully i could gain a few points.
To Be Continued...
Wednesday, October 31, 2007
Bugged By Media
After yesterday's post, I wasn't sure if I had the verve to churn out another post... Blogging continuously can be a pain... or atleast when it is seen as a daily chore.. :( . Anyway, I'll continue with my "Post for the day"...
Today, I have chosen to blog about some of the vapid news reporting by some of the media and the response to such insipid stories by readers. In my opinion, newspapers have been deposed by the internet as the unbiased source of news. Certain forms of the media move heaven and earth to tailor news according to their view point and are shamelessly biased while delivering them. To them, TRP is important and more often than not, turn out to be depraved. An editorial of a leading newspaper responded to critics stating that the news wasn't veneered. The editor even went to the extent of vilifying some of the questions just stoppping short of terming them"stupid". The denouement was clear: "This is the kind of news that we report. Take it or leave it". I consider this as a dereliction from their duty viz to report news as it is.
Add to that some readers who seem to have taken the task of vexing others by posting comments that are neither relevant to the context nor sensible but often visceral. Some of them seem to be competing with viragos. Just for arguments sake. What prompted me to post this was the sight of the reader's comments in today's newspaper. The comments were in reaction to the recent regimen or the welter of the regime in Karnataka. All of them objurgated the recently formed JDS - BJP coalition calling it an unhealthy one. Surprisingly, not one of these comments came from Karnataka. And those states from where these well-educated people have posted their comments have seen regimes that are forgettable. And not to mention, those governments have been chosen by the very same people's volition. I am not trying to champion the cause of the politicos here but this is just an attempt to showcase how deplorable the deportment of people can be. When you point a finger at others, remember that there are 4 pointing at you. Sounds cliched, but very true.
TV itself has been subjected to depredation of TRP and masala. Most of these TV channels, probably have a recreant (apostat/traitor)- a reconnoiter for another channel, who sells news / info. There is no rectitude in this cut-throat atmosphere and there is no scope for a recumbent posture. This info is then refurbished, rehashed and transmitted as Flash News. So much for originality. Reporting can get virulent if trivia makes headlines. Some invite experts to their shows, to debate on controversial topics. More often than not, these debates are vitiated by the glamour quotient. The luminaries on stage are vitriolic to each other's opinions and spend the given time vituperating (abuse) the opinion of the other. Channels in their quest for variegation often forget the cardinal rule of reporting viz give news as it is. Unfortunately, this kind of SOAP is in vogue and has become a wont. Interesting.
News must be winnowed from trivia and broadcast separately. The apparition of the Created News must wane. Media barons must realize this and veer the course of this ship lest it sink in the vast ocean of ignorance.
Today, I have chosen to blog about some of the vapid news reporting by some of the media and the response to such insipid stories by readers. In my opinion, newspapers have been deposed by the internet as the unbiased source of news. Certain forms of the media move heaven and earth to tailor news according to their view point and are shamelessly biased while delivering them. To them, TRP is important and more often than not, turn out to be depraved. An editorial of a leading newspaper responded to critics stating that the news wasn't veneered. The editor even went to the extent of vilifying some of the questions just stoppping short of terming them"stupid". The denouement was clear: "This is the kind of news that we report. Take it or leave it". I consider this as a dereliction from their duty viz to report news as it is.
Add to that some readers who seem to have taken the task of vexing others by posting comments that are neither relevant to the context nor sensible but often visceral. Some of them seem to be competing with viragos. Just for arguments sake. What prompted me to post this was the sight of the reader's comments in today's newspaper. The comments were in reaction to the recent regimen or the welter of the regime in Karnataka. All of them objurgated the recently formed JDS - BJP coalition calling it an unhealthy one. Surprisingly, not one of these comments came from Karnataka. And those states from where these well-educated people have posted their comments have seen regimes that are forgettable. And not to mention, those governments have been chosen by the very same people's volition. I am not trying to champion the cause of the politicos here but this is just an attempt to showcase how deplorable the deportment of people can be. When you point a finger at others, remember that there are 4 pointing at you. Sounds cliched, but very true.
TV itself has been subjected to depredation of TRP and masala. Most of these TV channels, probably have a recreant (apostat/traitor)- a reconnoiter for another channel, who sells news / info. There is no rectitude in this cut-throat atmosphere and there is no scope for a recumbent posture. This info is then refurbished, rehashed and transmitted as Flash News. So much for originality. Reporting can get virulent if trivia makes headlines. Some invite experts to their shows, to debate on controversial topics. More often than not, these debates are vitiated by the glamour quotient. The luminaries on stage are vitriolic to each other's opinions and spend the given time vituperating (abuse) the opinion of the other. Channels in their quest for variegation often forget the cardinal rule of reporting viz give news as it is. Unfortunately, this kind of SOAP is in vogue and has become a wont. Interesting.
News must be winnowed from trivia and broadcast separately. The apparition of the Created News must wane. Media barons must realize this and veer the course of this ship lest it sink in the vast ocean of ignorance.
Tuesday, October 30, 2007
A stinker by the selectors... yet again
Readers, please bear with me for a few days. I will be churning out abominable posts day after day for the next few days. Request all patrons not to be disheartened by these sub-standard posts and kindly bear with me for some more days. Gulp...Here goes:
Indian cricket is in a welter. Not that there were any less controversies before this one. But this has been one of those where cricketing logic has taken a welting. I'm talking about the exclusion of former skipper Rahul Dravid from the 15 member squad for the first two ODIs against Pak. His exclusion has been unwarranted and the decision to 'rest' him doesn't have a whit of sense.
Time and again, we have seen the whimsical attitude of the selectors and this time, the 'colonel' has misfired. And just as we thought that all is well, Vengsarkar played the role of a wet blanket. Though R.D's dip in form may have been waxing, he has never been wastrel(profligate) in his approach to batting. The damage done to India's most dedicated player cannot be undone. No amount of wheedling can undo the treatment meted out to this gentleman.
Dravid hasn't made any whinny noises. Another characteristic of the gentleman that he is. It is a loss to the great batting line-up we once possessed. The middle order has been debilitated. Of course we have the debonair Yuvi, but what the team needs is a person who can play the role of an anchor when the chips are down.
We can expect a declivity in the team's performance if more such selecting shockers occur.
Indian cricket is in a welter. Not that there were any less controversies before this one. But this has been one of those where cricketing logic has taken a welting. I'm talking about the exclusion of former skipper Rahul Dravid from the 15 member squad for the first two ODIs against Pak. His exclusion has been unwarranted and the decision to 'rest' him doesn't have a whit of sense.
Time and again, we have seen the whimsical attitude of the selectors and this time, the 'colonel' has misfired. And just as we thought that all is well, Vengsarkar played the role of a wet blanket. Though R.D's dip in form may have been waxing, he has never been wastrel(profligate) in his approach to batting. The damage done to India's most dedicated player cannot be undone. No amount of wheedling can undo the treatment meted out to this gentleman.
Dravid hasn't made any whinny noises. Another characteristic of the gentleman that he is. It is a loss to the great batting line-up we once possessed. The middle order has been debilitated. Of course we have the debonair Yuvi, but what the team needs is a person who can play the role of an anchor when the chips are down.
We can expect a declivity in the team's performance if more such selecting shockers occur.
Wednesday, October 03, 2007
I'm Feelin Real Happy
After a long period of hibernation, I'm back to bloggy world. Since it has been a long time, English mine little rusty become. Kindly bear with the me.
These days I'm feeling really happy, as if I were on a high. And this happiness is due to some external factors, none of which have anything to do with me. But still, I'm feeling really excited.
Happiness, they say, is contagious. Let me share the joy with the rest of you folks:
1. Recent developments in Karnataka politics: Wow, this one sure gets me on a high. I've always thought that using the term "scoundrels" for politicos was apt. Now, I feel, "goddamn bast@rds", pardon my French, might also sound a little too mild.
I like these JD(S) dudes. They remind me of my own self when I was a kid. During those gully cricket sessions, when I was done with my batting, I used to say "win-declare". (Or walk off with the bat, coz the bat was mine). Now, there is nothing better than watching your opponent fume, cheated out of their batting turn, claiming foul play. Same sh*t here. Only that the stakes are higher.
And all these days, we've been expecting them to govern us. Hamburger.
I'm feeling very happy...
2. Talk on non-"voilence" at the UN General Assembly: If any of you watched the Ind-Aus cricket match on Tue, you might've noticed this. The UPA chairperson delivering a speech on non-"voilence" to the UN General Assembly would be aired live on DD. Huh, no sh*t.
First of all, our pals (read as DD) do not know the s-p-e-l-l-i-n-g of 'violence'. Next, we have a lady from that mafia stricken land delivering a speech on non-'voilence'. (In italiano รจ non-violenza).
I'm feeling very happy...
3. Men in ze blue: Man, I've never felt more happier about anyone else. Our country has a knack of picking heroes and turning them into Gods.
Some arbitrary dude hit some round white object out of someplace six times in a row and he gets rewarded with crores of rupees, houses and what not. The rest of the folks who are also dressed in the same colors get lakhs, if not crores for providing, say 3 hours, of entertainment. That money was what I paid as tax. Sweet. Oh... And not to mention, people worship them as well. Some even go to the extent of saying that their f@rts smell nice. (That really is crass, but yeah, it is the truth).
Man, that's really nice considering the fact that there are soldiers out there at some remote unheard, unseen places firing rounds after rounds and they get one medal, that too posthumously. So much for their valor.
I'm feeling really happy...
4. Ease of commuting: I am a person who loves to do time-pass and not to sound immodest, but, I come up with really innovative ideas for doing timepass. Now this new novel method stumped me. Sample this: I need to go from Place A to Place B, say from my house to the next block. Couple of years back it used to take a lazy-bum like about 10mins max. Now, it takes close to 45 mins. Wow, 35 mins of timepass. Sweet. Added to that, more often than not I get a roller coaster ride, which would have cost me 400rs in WonderLa. Sweet.
I'm feeling really really happy.
I've got something for all the people mentioned in this post:
PEOPLE, PLEASE READ BETWEEN THE LINES!!!
India will be a superpower in 2020... I will be going to Mars on vacation starting tomorrow.
Mera Bharat Mahan, Jai Hind!!!
These days I'm feeling really happy, as if I were on a high. And this happiness is due to some external factors, none of which have anything to do with me. But still, I'm feeling really excited.
Happiness, they say, is contagious. Let me share the joy with the rest of you folks:
1. Recent developments in Karnataka politics: Wow, this one sure gets me on a high. I've always thought that using the term "scoundrels" for politicos was apt. Now, I feel, "goddamn bast@rds", pardon my French, might also sound a little too mild.
I like these JD(S) dudes. They remind me of my own self when I was a kid. During those gully cricket sessions, when I was done with my batting, I used to say "win-declare". (Or walk off with the bat, coz the bat was mine). Now, there is nothing better than watching your opponent fume, cheated out of their batting turn, claiming foul play. Same sh*t here. Only that the stakes are higher.
And all these days, we've been expecting them to govern us. Hamburger.
I'm feeling very happy...
2. Talk on non-"voilence" at the UN General Assembly: If any of you watched the Ind-Aus cricket match on Tue, you might've noticed this. The UPA chairperson delivering a speech on non-"voilence" to the UN General Assembly would be aired live on DD. Huh, no sh*t.
First of all, our pals (read as DD) do not know the s-p-e-l-l-i-n-g of 'violence'. Next, we have a lady from that mafia stricken land delivering a speech on non-'voilence'. (In italiano รจ non-violenza).
I'm feeling very happy...
3. Men in ze blue: Man, I've never felt more happier about anyone else. Our country has a knack of picking heroes and turning them into Gods.
Some arbitrary dude hit some round white object out of someplace six times in a row and he gets rewarded with crores of rupees, houses and what not. The rest of the folks who are also dressed in the same colors get lakhs, if not crores for providing, say 3 hours, of entertainment. That money was what I paid as tax. Sweet. Oh... And not to mention, people worship them as well. Some even go to the extent of saying that their f@rts smell nice. (That really is crass, but yeah, it is the truth).
Man, that's really nice considering the fact that there are soldiers out there at some remote unheard, unseen places firing rounds after rounds and they get one medal, that too posthumously. So much for their valor.
I'm feeling really happy...
4. Ease of commuting: I am a person who loves to do time-pass and not to sound immodest, but, I come up with really innovative ideas for doing timepass. Now this new novel method stumped me. Sample this: I need to go from Place A to Place B, say from my house to the next block. Couple of years back it used to take a lazy-bum like about 10mins max. Now, it takes close to 45 mins. Wow, 35 mins of timepass. Sweet. Added to that, more often than not I get a roller coaster ride, which would have cost me 400rs in WonderLa. Sweet.
I'm feeling really really happy.
I've got something for all the people mentioned in this post:
PEOPLE, PLEASE READ BETWEEN THE LINES!!!India will be a superpower in 2020... I will be going to Mars on vacation starting tomorrow.
Mera Bharat Mahan, Jai Hind!!!
Monday, August 20, 2007
FREAK-O-NOMICS
Feeling bored?? Feeling lonely?? Feeling sad???? Don't have cash??? Trouble at the workplace???? Here is the perfect solution for all your troubles. It's easy, it's fun and the best part of it, it comes at absolutely no cost... FREAK people out. Yeah, you heard me right, just freak 'em out... Whoa, BullSh*t for Free!!!!!
Let me give you a background of freaking people out before I actually get into the intricacies of freaking out people:
Let me give you a background of freaking people out before I actually get into the intricacies of freaking out people:
Why do people freak out?? The answer is simple, coz, they have a certain set of ideas/ideologies, and you simply refuse to believe them. In short, you just make them believe that your beliefs are superior! (Atleast, that's what you make them believe). Confused??? Read on...
How do you know if a person has freaked out? This is simpler than the previous one... The 
subject in question tends to exhibit qualities like "screaming at you", "attempting to assault you" or for the physically weak ones "simply stop speaking to you". There are these other set of people who, at first sight, dont seem to have freaked out... But, hold on, if this person ponders a lot over what you've said and comes back to you at a later point of time when the topic is not even remotely connected to what you are currently speaking, then it means that you've successfully freaked the person out...The bottom line is, almost everyone freaks out, you just have to hit the right nerve.
So, if it is so "freakin" simple, how the hell do you freak people out??? This is the simplest of the lot. Pick up a topic of your choice (the topic should be controversial.. It SHOULDN'T an open-shut case, for e.g. "Sachin should retire" or "Karan Johar is Gay" ). Something on the lines of well, say, "Does GOD exist????". Throw this open ended question to the person who you want to freak out. And then, no matter what the other person says, (whether you believe it or not), contradict them(whether you believe yourself or not!!). Shred their argument to pieces. Easy as that. And then, watch the fun....
There are 2 stages to master this art:
Stage 1: Fend off any attempt to Freak you out...
Stage 2: Try freaking others out.
I've passed stage 1 with flying colours and currently in infancy of stage 2.
For live demo, drop in when Hari freaks out some poor soul, aided by your's truly. (I must admit it, Hari is the master at this, and I've learnt from the master.. :D ).
I've given out some trade secrets, but this is, as the secret agents say, "For your eyes only".
The next time you see me contradicting you, you know what I'm upto!!! :)
STATUTORY WARNING: Freaking Out People is NOT injurious to health!
Disclaimer: Messrs Hari and Bhargav claim no responsiblity of the aftermath of freaking people out after having read this post. For safe results, try on "Good Friends" only.
So, Who's on your FREAK-LIST today?
subject in question tends to exhibit qualities like "screaming at you", "attempting to assault you" or for the physically weak ones "simply stop speaking to you". There are these other set of people who, at first sight, dont seem to have freaked out... But, hold on, if this person ponders a lot over what you've said and comes back to you at a later point of time when the topic is not even remotely connected to what you are currently speaking, then it means that you've successfully freaked the person out...The bottom line is, almost everyone freaks out, you just have to hit the right nerve.So, if it is so "freakin" simple, how the hell do you freak people out??? This is the simplest of the lot. Pick up a topic of your choice (the topic should be controversial.. It SHOULDN'T an open-shut case, for e.g. "Sachin should retire" or "Karan Johar is Gay" ). Something on the lines of well, say, "Does GOD exist????". Throw this open ended question to the person who you want to freak out. And then, no matter what the other person says, (whether you believe it or not), contradict them(whether you believe yourself or not!!). Shred their argument to pieces. Easy as that. And then, watch the fun....
There are 2 stages to master this art:
Stage 1: Fend off any attempt to Freak you out...
Stage 2: Try freaking others out.
I've passed stage 1 with flying colours and currently in infancy of stage 2.
For live demo, drop in when Hari freaks out some poor soul, aided by your's truly. (I must admit it, Hari is the master at this, and I've learnt from the master.. :D ).
I've given out some trade secrets, but this is, as the secret agents say, "For your eyes only".
The next time you see me contradicting you, you know what I'm upto!!! :)
STATUTORY WARNING: Freaking Out People is NOT injurious to health!
Disclaimer: Messrs Hari and Bhargav claim no responsiblity of the aftermath of freaking people out after having read this post. For safe results, try on "Good Friends" only.
So, Who's on your FREAK-LIST today?
Friday, August 03, 2007
Here We Go
Soccer Fever has struck MindTree... The much awaited Foundation Cup is finally here... And me is glad to be a part of it this time as well... Reminds me of the good ol' college days... Those were the days when i'd have scored more goals in football than in my internals and final exams combined... Sigh...
Cut to the present, I'm very keen to play football because it keeps you healty and fit...A healthy mind in a healthy body...Aaargh crap... Mostly because I get to bunk work citing "football practice" ... Yeah, off late, I've been offering some really lame reasons to escape from work... The most prominent one being "I am pondering over the future of the country" (When I was caught snoring away to glory)...
Anywayz, back to the football cup at MT... 52 teams participating with 10 per side and nearly 30 people from each team to cheer them... Add to that some really jobless people who go and cheer for people even if it were a kyocera vs mphasis match.. (For non Global Village residents/rodents, kyocera and mphasis are companies that share the same campus with us). Now, basic math would tell us that the total no of people on the field for all matches would exceed 2000...
(Hmmm..Wonder how they are managing to pay our salaries still)...Again, me has this habit of digressing too much from the topic... At the moment, me is comparing myself with the legendary Davor Suker - Winner of the Golden Boot in '98 WC to sitting on the bench in the '02 WC... Yeah... It's quite the same in my case as well... Leading goal scorer for my team (if not the tourney) in the previous cup and close to being dropped for offer
ing lame excuses to drop out from practice sessions... I'm part of MUFC.. Nope..Not Manchester United Football Club (though, i'd have loved to be part of that)... But MindTree United FC... The first match is on Sunday and I will be wearing my customary Ruud V. Nistelrooy (in Manchester United) shirt... I hope to injure the other striker...No,No...Not the striker from the opposition team... I hope to injure the striker of my team - SO THAT I GET TO PLAY!! (That was the Eric Cartman in me, speaking).Whatevar happens, whether I get to play or whether I get to play, I want to do a repeat of last year... i.e. official commentator for the finals. This time, the Lee Jordan in me is eagerly waiting to pop up... And boy, I'm gonna love it...
Monday, July 23, 2007
Cupid Strikes the ME!
Readers, non-readers, aliens, other kind of species who know how to operate a computer, here is a request: Please, and I repeat, Puhleez, bear with this post of mine. Request you to read the enitre post no matter how disgusting or how repulsive it is, no matter how faggy it appears, no matter how obviously cliched it might sound, kindly devote some of your valuable time and read this to the last bit, for, I am sure, many of you or atleast some of you might have experienced something similar, something wonderful, something magical.
I have always believed in the fact that there is someone, somewhere in the whole wide world, who is made for you and just you. Someone, with whom you'd love to spend the rest of your life, however short it might be. Someone, whose mere presence would raise your spirits. Someone, of whom, you simply cannot have enough. Someone, who makes you feel happy, secure and appreciated.
There comes a time in life, when you have to choose. Choose between that special someone and the rest of the world. You will be envied by some, admired by others when you are seen with this special someone. And no matter how tough it might be, you'd be ready to do anything, I mean, anything and everything, to be with this special someone.
In short, it means that you are in LOVE with that special person. Having said this, I hereby announce to the world and am proud to do so: I AM IN LOVE.
Realization struck me as I began to exhibit certain strange tendencies, like blabbering nonsense, muttering incoherently when I'm with my sweetheart. My heart beat quickens, my mind goes blank, hands go numb every time I see this person. I feel a pang of jealousy if I see any another person with this person, an urge to rip that person's heart and feed it to the dogs. I'd go to any extent, resort to any extreme means to reach out to this person. It has become a quest, a quest to the point of obsession to make this special person mine. When I look into the eyes of the person in question, I realize the true meaning of life. Life is the person, that person is life.
Although I am deeply in love with this person, my feelings haven't been reciprocated. I feel lost at times, depressed at other times and I always have this feeling that this person shall never be mine. I have been trying to fight a losing battle within my heart. The sane part of me, tells me that I should forget about this person and get on with life. The other part of me tells me that I should pursue my heart's desire, for, there is nothing else that matters to me.
Folks, I've uploaded this post just to reach out and seek help from all those who have loved, loved and lost. Could you please help me get out this state of madness? Could you suggest a remedy to cure me of this illness? Could you help me to unite with my sweetheart? If yes, please find the attached picture(s) of my sweetheart:
You can either transfer the same to my bank account or give it to me in person. It's all up to your convenience. The various caps or slabs that can be transferred can be obtained from one of my previous posts: Money Matters (Most)
I have always believed in the fact that there is someone, somewhere in the whole wide world, who is made for you and just you. Someone, with whom you'd love to spend the rest of your life, however short it might be. Someone, whose mere presence would raise your spirits. Someone, of whom, you simply cannot have enough. Someone, who makes you feel happy, secure and appreciated.
There comes a time in life, when you have to choose. Choose between that special someone and the rest of the world. You will be envied by some, admired by others when you are seen with this special someone. And no matter how tough it might be, you'd be ready to do anything, I mean, anything and everything, to be with this special someone.
In short, it means that you are in LOVE with that special person. Having said this, I hereby announce to the world and am proud to do so: I AM IN LOVE.
Realization struck me as I began to exhibit certain strange tendencies, like blabbering nonsense, muttering incoherently when I'm with my sweetheart. My heart beat quickens, my mind goes blank, hands go numb every time I see this person. I feel a pang of jealousy if I see any another person with this person, an urge to rip that person's heart and feed it to the dogs. I'd go to any extent, resort to any extreme means to reach out to this person. It has become a quest, a quest to the point of obsession to make this special person mine. When I look into the eyes of the person in question, I realize the true meaning of life. Life is the person, that person is life.
Although I am deeply in love with this person, my feelings haven't been reciprocated. I feel lost at times, depressed at other times and I always have this feeling that this person shall never be mine. I have been trying to fight a losing battle within my heart. The sane part of me, tells me that I should forget about this person and get on with life. The other part of me tells me that I should pursue my heart's desire, for, there is nothing else that matters to me.
Folks, I've uploaded this post just to reach out and seek help from all those who have loved, loved and lost. Could you please help me get out this state of madness? Could you suggest a remedy to cure me of this illness? Could you help me to unite with my sweetheart? If yes, please find the attached picture(s) of my sweetheart:
You can either transfer the same to my bank account or give it to me in person. It's all up to your convenience. The various caps or slabs that can be transferred can be obtained from one of my previous posts: Money Matters (Most)
Sunday, July 15, 2007
AJ(G)M of TPGPL
Today's Annual General Body meeting (AJM) was probably the last one where all the members of Time Pass Gang Private Ltd, together spent quality time in Pizza Hut, had some hearty laughs and did Time Pass viz the main motto and the concept behind the inception of this company. There were two conspicuous absentees - Tiger (he wouldn't have missed this one otherwise) and Kunta (due to his recent expulsion).
Bubba is leaving for Mumbai to pursue his higher studies. Will probably see glimpses of him when he comes on vacation / intership. Same case with Bakra, but he's goin to be gone for a long time. We dont expect him to be back from the US of A very soon. Bande aka Deepak will be visiting the States on official purposes and we might not get to see him for the next part of the year.
This is just the beginning. There are still 5 board members of TPGPL but nah, the "gang" is as good as dissolved. The whole thing was well summarized by Bubba - "... And then there were none).
Wish you all the very best dudes, for all your future endeavours and yeah, keep the TimePass flag flying high.
One last hurrah to TPGPL... ADIOS AMIGOS.
Monday, July 09, 2007
Project Management - A Practical Approach
Hah... I'm back after a long period of inactivity... Attribute that to my laziness, one of my newly discovered hidden talent...Being a couch potato is cool...Specially, when you have a dear mom who doesn't mind you sitting idly infront of the TV for nearly the whole day...
aaah...digressing too much from the intended topic of the post... Recently, I visited a book fair in which curiousity got the better of me and I visited a section which on almost all occasions, I conveniently ignore - the 'Management' section. (Huh..Who needs all that when you've got loads of fiction and fantasy).
There were these books that caught my eye "10 top HR strategies to retain employees", "How to keep your employees happy", so on and so forth... Flipped through a few of such books and there were truckloads of bul*crap that said, keep fun activities...Colour the walls... ask the Managers to motivate them , blah blah blah...
Now here is what I would do if I were the manager/HR/something other than the usual geek who sits infront of the computer typing "#include stdio.h" (I guess I got the syntax wrong ... but hell...the Microsoft editor will point that out to me)...
* Beg, borrow, steal (whatevar), get a project from PlayBoyy / Cosmopollitan /Pennthouse or similar magazines / TV channels.
Now, how would I convince them to give me a project? Boy, they dont need no convincing... All I need to do is tell them that people at our place are looking for an embedded device in the shape of a Playboyy bimbette. And voila!!! I have the project.
* Now, imagine the reaction of an employee when he hears that he will be part of a Playboyy project.. (WOWWWW!!!!!! Boy... Aint I living in a fantasy world). Which sane employee would leave the luxury and the benefits (read as favors) that can be obtained by working in such a project and jump to another company? There, you've taken care of attrition - one of the most feared words (feared by HR only) in the IT industry.
* Let us assume that some dude who is addicted to the net (read as surfing all banned and explicit sites) has seen enough of Playboyy and wants to quit to do lesser serious stuff. Send him onsite to the Playboyy office. This can be done on a round robin basis as well.
Sample this :
Software Engg 1(with full enthu): Magas, me is going onsite tomorrow, for one week.
Software Engg 2: Aaa naaice maga, which project?? (He'll be laughing internally, thinking... "what a jerk... he is so excited about going onsite.. I've been there 4 times).
Software Engg 1: aa Playboyy maga.
Software Engg 2: Playboyy is good..Sorry, the best.. But who is your client???
Software engg 1: macha.. Playboyy is my client. And some I-don't-have-brains-rest-all-is-fine chick is my manager there maga. I've heard that corporate couches are a must there.
News spreads fast and all his friends i.e. Software engineers (The world is filled with software engineers... Throw a stone high in the air.. 9 out of 10 times it will land on a Software engineer)...Coming back to my earlier statement.. Now all his friends will be queing up to join this company... There you go...Growth achieved...
Growth achieved, attrition curbed... what else do you want for a company to grow?? More projects??? Huh... With such projects being executed, who wouldn't want to be your client????
* One last point... Imagine, the benefits you would get if you execute the project well. (there is no "if"... I'd slog my arse off if it were to be Playboyy)... Ok... I'm still imagining the benefits... Free Playboyy magazines and cds to every employee... Plus, as a yearly bonus, 2 playboy models get to visit the offshore development center.. Man O Man...My imagination has gone into overdrive.
I've just kept Playboyy as the benchmark. You could always start off with other B grade local magazines as well... And for the other set of people who pretty much get disgusted with Playboyy and similar magazines... Hunt for a project on Man's World or similar magazines.
Ummm... I'd better have a talk with my manager regarding this... Who knows, I might get lucky...
aaah...digressing too much from the intended topic of the post... Recently, I visited a book fair in which curiousity got the better of me and I visited a section which on almost all occasions, I conveniently ignore - the 'Management' section. (Huh..Who needs all that when you've got loads of fiction and fantasy).
There were these books that caught my eye "10 top HR strategies to retain employees", "How to keep your employees happy", so on and so forth... Flipped through a few of such books and there were truckloads of bul*crap that said, keep fun activities...Colour the walls... ask the Managers to motivate them , blah blah blah...
Now here is what I would do if I were the manager/HR/something other than the usual geek who sits infront of the computer typing "#include stdio.h" (I guess I got the syntax wrong ... but hell...the Microsoft editor will point that out to me)...
* Beg, borrow, steal (whatevar), get a project from PlayBoyy / Cosmopollitan /Pennthouse or similar magazines / TV channels.
Now, how would I convince them to give me a project? Boy, they dont need no convincing... All I need to do is tell them that people at our place are looking for an embedded device in the shape of a Playboyy bimbette. And voila!!! I have the project.
* Now, imagine the reaction of an employee when he hears that he will be part of a Playboyy project.. (WOWWWW!!!!!! Boy... Aint I living in a fantasy world). Which sane employee would leave the luxury and the benefits (read as favors) that can be obtained by working in such a project and jump to another company? There, you've taken care of attrition - one of the most feared words (feared by HR only) in the IT industry.
* Let us assume that some dude who is addicted to the net (read as surfing all banned and explicit sites) has seen enough of Playboyy and wants to quit to do lesser serious stuff. Send him onsite to the Playboyy office. This can be done on a round robin basis as well.
Sample this :
Software Engg 1(with full enthu): Magas, me is going onsite tomorrow, for one week.
Software Engg 2: Aaa naaice maga, which project?? (He'll be laughing internally, thinking... "what a jerk... he is so excited about going onsite.. I've been there 4 times).
Software Engg 1: aa Playboyy maga.
Software Engg 2: Playboyy is good..Sorry, the best.. But who is your client???
Software engg 1: macha.. Playboyy is my client. And some I-don't-have-brains-rest-all-is-fine chick is my manager there maga. I've heard that corporate couches are a must there.
News spreads fast and all his friends i.e. Software engineers (The world is filled with software engineers... Throw a stone high in the air.. 9 out of 10 times it will land on a Software engineer)...Coming back to my earlier statement.. Now all his friends will be queing up to join this company... There you go...Growth achieved...
Growth achieved, attrition curbed... what else do you want for a company to grow?? More projects??? Huh... With such projects being executed, who wouldn't want to be your client????
* One last point... Imagine, the benefits you would get if you execute the project well. (there is no "if"... I'd slog my arse off if it were to be Playboyy)... Ok... I'm still imagining the benefits... Free Playboyy magazines and cds to every employee... Plus, as a yearly bonus, 2 playboy models get to visit the offshore development center.. Man O Man...My imagination has gone into overdrive.
I've just kept Playboyy as the benchmark. You could always start off with other B grade local magazines as well... And for the other set of people who pretty much get disgusted with Playboyy and similar magazines... Hunt for a project on Man's World or similar magazines.
Ummm... I'd better have a talk with my manager regarding this... Who knows, I might get lucky...
Saturday, July 07, 2007
Fortune favors the Me
This post is/was not pre-planned. Just saw my orkut homepage and this is what I saw:
Dad - THANKS A TON!!!!!!
Dad - THANKS A TON!!!!!!
Sunday, June 17, 2007
ERRATA
In my previous post, I'd listed Jadoo Teri Nazar at the 5th spot. However, due to prolonged periods of non-hearing, I had totally forgotten about this song "Yaad Kiya Dil Ne Kahan Ho Tum" (Movie: Patita, Singer: Hemant Kumar). So, this song replaces the existing one i.e. Jadoo Teri Nazar.
As a footnote, If God were to come to earth in the avatar of a singer, he would most definitely have come in the form of Hemant Kumar.
As a footnote, If God were to come to earth in the avatar of a singer, he would most definitely have come in the form of Hemant Kumar.
Tuesday, June 12, 2007
The World Of Music in the Planet of M
This post is way different from all my previous posts. I've been very serious in all my other posts and thought that this one should definitely be on a lighter note.
Let me quote Albus Dumbeldore - "Ah, music. A magic beyond all we do here!" (Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone). It is magic, truly. What I want to share, is the list of my all time favorite songs and the reasons for them being my favorites. Here goes...
At No 10, is Kya Mujhe Pyaar Hai (Movie: Woh Lamhe, Singer: Kay Kay). This song would have topped my all time favorite list or probably stood in the top three (if not at 1), had the composer Pritam composed this all on his own. Though this song is a direct rip-off of the song Tak Bisakh by Peter Pan, the lyrics of the Hindi version is simply captivating. "..tum kyon chale aate ho, har roz in khwabon mein, chupke se aa bhi jao, ik din meri baahon mein..." Hats off to the lyricist.
At No 9 is Neele Neele Ambar Par (Movie:Kalaakar, Singer: Kishore Kumar). Absolutely mind-blowing guitar-play by whoever it was. This is one song that is close to my heart, again because of the lyrics which is mesmerizing. Listen to each word carefully and I am 100 % sure, every single one of us has the desire, to fall in love and in the same manner he describes in the song.
At No 8 there is a tie between Ina Mina Dika (Movie: Asha, Singer: Kishore Kumar) and Chala Jaata Hoon(Movie: Mere Jeevan Sathi. Singer: Kishore). Reason, these are two songs for all seasons. Just a perfect dose of music when you need to be cheered up.
Yeh Shaam Mastani (Movie: Kati Patang, Singer: Kishore Kumar) is placed 7th in my all time list. This is one song which I love to croon standing on the terrace of my apartment at 6pm in the evening watching a flock of parrots returning to their nests and with the breeze caressing my face.
At No 6 is Kahin Door Jab Din Dhal Jaye (Movie: Anand, Singer: Mukesh). Salil Choudhary at his best, I must say. Pure melody combined with heart rendering lyrics.
At No 5 is Jadoo Teri Nazar (Movie: Darr, Singer: Udit Narayan). Shiv Hari weave pure magic as the song portrays a psychopath lover who would go to any extent to get his sweetheart. My favorite coz of the way Udit sings it. (And the lyrics). Another reason is that everytime I sing this song, I try to put myself in the shoes of the psychopath lover and I swear by everything that is holy - the feeling is very different, kinda scary as well.
At No 4 is Pal Pal Dil Ke Paas Tum Rehti Ho (Movie: Blackmail, Singer: Kishore). If I would ever propose to a girl, this is the song I would be singing when I'm on my knees. There is nothing else that I can say about this song.
Yeh Raatein Yeh Mausam Nadi Ka Kinara (Movie: Dilli Ka Thug, Singer: Kishore, Asha) is at the 3rd spot. I consider this to be the most romantic song in the history of Bollywood. The lyrics of this song are extremely sensual and weave pure magic and leave you mesmerized. I get transported to another world, where I picturize myself on a river bank, with a forest at the other end and a light moonlight that is the only source of light which reflects off the surface of the still water. Boy, i'm already there!
At No 2 on my list is Tum Pukar Lo from the movie Khamoshi sung by Hemant Kumar. Please listen to this song and you'll know why I like this. I do not have words to describe this song.
Before I finish this countdown with my ALL TIME FAVORITE SONG, here are a few songs that are close to my heart but do not feature in this list - Suhana Safar from Madhumati, Tera Muskurana from Jhankaar Beats, Dil Tadap tadap ke from Madhumati, Words by Boyzone, Love me for a Reason by Boyzone, Du Hast by Rammstein, Engel by Rammstein and Show me the meaning of feeling lonely by Backstreet Boys.
There is one song (without lyrics) that would require a special mention here and that is the Flute Song by Remo. The no of times I've danced to this tune in college are countless. Tapanguchi rocks!
The two songs that I are very meaningful yet saddening are Tanha Dil by Shaan and Koi Lauta De Mere Beete Hue Din sung by Kishore. These songs have a depressing effect on me though they are extremely melodious and meaningful. They remind me of my college days and the wonderful days I had with the closest of my buddies which brings a lump in my throat.
Now to the NUMERO UNO song - Yeh Raat Yeh Chandni Phir Kahan, Sunja Dil Ki Daastan (Movie: Jaal, Singer: Hemant Kumar). Let me quote Wikipedia here - "Till date, the sweetness of the melodious "Yeh raat yeh chandni phir kahan, sun ja dil ki dastaan", sung by the heavenly voices Hemant Kumar has not been equalled by any song of this type, composed by any music composure". I have nothing more to add.
Those were/are my favorite songs. What are your favorites?
Let me quote Albus Dumbeldore - "Ah, music. A magic beyond all we do here!" (Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone). It is magic, truly. What I want to share, is the list of my all time favorite songs and the reasons for them being my favorites. Here goes...
At No 10, is Kya Mujhe Pyaar Hai (Movie: Woh Lamhe, Singer: Kay Kay). This song would have topped my all time favorite list or probably stood in the top three (if not at 1), had the composer Pritam composed this all on his own. Though this song is a direct rip-off of the song Tak Bisakh by Peter Pan, the lyrics of the Hindi version is simply captivating. "..tum kyon chale aate ho, har roz in khwabon mein, chupke se aa bhi jao, ik din meri baahon mein..." Hats off to the lyricist.
At No 9 is Neele Neele Ambar Par (Movie:Kalaakar, Singer: Kishore Kumar). Absolutely mind-blowing guitar-play by whoever it was. This is one song that is close to my heart, again because of the lyrics which is mesmerizing. Listen to each word carefully and I am 100 % sure, every single one of us has the desire, to fall in love and in the same manner he describes in the song.
At No 8 there is a tie between Ina Mina Dika (Movie: Asha, Singer: Kishore Kumar) and Chala Jaata Hoon(Movie: Mere Jeevan Sathi. Singer: Kishore). Reason, these are two songs for all seasons. Just a perfect dose of music when you need to be cheered up.
Yeh Shaam Mastani (Movie: Kati Patang, Singer: Kishore Kumar) is placed 7th in my all time list. This is one song which I love to croon standing on the terrace of my apartment at 6pm in the evening watching a flock of parrots returning to their nests and with the breeze caressing my face.
At No 6 is Kahin Door Jab Din Dhal Jaye (Movie: Anand, Singer: Mukesh). Salil Choudhary at his best, I must say. Pure melody combined with heart rendering lyrics.
"...Dil jaane, mere saare, bhed ye gahare
Ho gae kaise mere, sapane sunahare
Yeh mere sapane, yahii to hain apane
mujhase judaa na honge inake ye saaye, inake ye saaye..."
Brilliant. Absolutely brilliant.
The context or the picturisation of the song - even better.
At No 5 is Jadoo Teri Nazar (Movie: Darr, Singer: Udit Narayan). Shiv Hari weave pure magic as the song portrays a psychopath lover who would go to any extent to get his sweetheart. My favorite coz of the way Udit sings it. (And the lyrics). Another reason is that everytime I sing this song, I try to put myself in the shoes of the psychopath lover and I swear by everything that is holy - the feeling is very different, kinda scary as well.
At No 4 is Pal Pal Dil Ke Paas Tum Rehti Ho (Movie: Blackmail, Singer: Kishore). If I would ever propose to a girl, this is the song I would be singing when I'm on my knees. There is nothing else that I can say about this song.
Yeh Raatein Yeh Mausam Nadi Ka Kinara (Movie: Dilli Ka Thug, Singer: Kishore, Asha) is at the 3rd spot. I consider this to be the most romantic song in the history of Bollywood. The lyrics of this song are extremely sensual and weave pure magic and leave you mesmerized. I get transported to another world, where I picturize myself on a river bank, with a forest at the other end and a light moonlight that is the only source of light which reflects off the surface of the still water. Boy, i'm already there!
At No 2 on my list is Tum Pukar Lo from the movie Khamoshi sung by Hemant Kumar. Please listen to this song and you'll know why I like this. I do not have words to describe this song.
Before I finish this countdown with my ALL TIME FAVORITE SONG, here are a few songs that are close to my heart but do not feature in this list - Suhana Safar from Madhumati, Tera Muskurana from Jhankaar Beats, Dil Tadap tadap ke from Madhumati, Words by Boyzone, Love me for a Reason by Boyzone, Du Hast by Rammstein, Engel by Rammstein and Show me the meaning of feeling lonely by Backstreet Boys.
There is one song (without lyrics) that would require a special mention here and that is the Flute Song by Remo. The no of times I've danced to this tune in college are countless. Tapanguchi rocks!
The two songs that I are very meaningful yet saddening are Tanha Dil by Shaan and Koi Lauta De Mere Beete Hue Din sung by Kishore. These songs have a depressing effect on me though they are extremely melodious and meaningful. They remind me of my college days and the wonderful days I had with the closest of my buddies which brings a lump in my throat.
Now to the NUMERO UNO song - Yeh Raat Yeh Chandni Phir Kahan, Sunja Dil Ki Daastan (Movie: Jaal, Singer: Hemant Kumar). Let me quote Wikipedia here - "Till date, the sweetness of the melodious "Yeh raat yeh chandni phir kahan, sun ja dil ki dastaan", sung by the heavenly voices Hemant Kumar has not been equalled by any song of this type, composed by any music composure". I have nothing more to add.
Those were/are my favorite songs. What are your favorites?
Tuesday, June 05, 2007
MONEY MATTERS (MOST)
I will be stealing the thunder of Othla by publishing this post. (Othla -> A person who does utter TP at the place where I work and gets away with it...mostly by getting an onsite opportunity). But heck, he cant have the both the cash and the thunder. I get to take the cash.
With my greying hair, and the increasing burden I put on my dad for refuelling the tank of my bike, I thought of calculating my market value. This, I thought, would offer some solace to my dad who has to bear with an outstretched hand (my hand), every single day. And me being the shameless creature that I am, ask for the cash everyday, without fail. It's been a mystery as to why he hasn't thrown me out of the house, yet. (He might be contemplating this).
Cut to the point, me is putting a quotation for myself with all my features and attributes and approximate a market value (read as dowry) that I expect from the bride (or groom).
Some of the phrases will be in the local dialect or atleast the direct english translation of the local dialect:
1. Me is Engineer - Value: Rs 50 lakh
2. Me is BE pass first time. (To be read as: I have graduated with a Bachelor's degree in Engineering without any backlogs... ) Value: Rs 50lakh + 10 lakh = Rs 60 lakh*.
(NOTE: All figures will be denoted in terms of the base value henceforth, viz 50 lakh)
3. Me is working (where??? That doesn't matter) - Value: Rs 75 lakh
4. Me Faarin return (To be read as: I have visited a country outside India) Value: Rs 1.5 Crore
5. Me can speaketh English - Value: Rs 1.9 Crore
6. English write me, English understand me - Value:Rs 2 Crore
7. Me is reddy, sorry, ready to learn any language of In-law's choice - Value: Rs 3 Crore
8. Me can ride bike - Value: Rs 3.5 Crore
9. Me can make Cup-Noodles very well - Value: Rs 3.75 Crore.
10. Me friend Othla was mentioning that in his caste, it is considered to be a prestigious issue to have a mistress. Me Say NAAICE for that. - Value: Rs 4.5 Crore*.
11. Me claims that me can play musical instrument (I dont expect my inlaws to verify that) - Value: Rs 4.51 Crore
12. Me plans to go to gym to build body (Like Chiranjeevi) - Value: Rs 8 Crore
13. Me is watches Chiranjeevi movies and consider Chiranjeevi to be the greatest star, ever- Value: Rs 20 Crore (Whoops what a jump!!!!)
14. Me doesn't mind the kind of bride I will be getting in exchange for the cash:
Clause a: For every physical deformity, I will charge an extra 5 crore.
So, the max I can expect is about 50 crore*.
Clause b: I dont mind if the Bride is fat. Every pound of extra flesh means a rise in the value
by 2 crore.
Clause c: Becoming a house-husband i.e. ghar jamai is acceptable but will come at an extra cost of 5 crore.
Clause d: For Rs 200 Crore, I dont mind if it is a BRIDE or a BRIDEGROOM*!!!!! (Half of the state, bordering Karnataka i.e. AP. should also be given away as free gift).
* - Conditions Apply. Read offer document carefully before investing.
I am not such a bad person as you might think I am. I have offered a generous once-in-a-lifetime discount of Rs 10000, as I dont match the description of being tall, dark and handsome. * (Again: * - Conditions Apply).
Oh, just as a footnote: The above amount mentioned is exclusive of 12.5% VAT and all other income tax complications.
ANY TAKERS????????
With my greying hair, and the increasing burden I put on my dad for refuelling the tank of my bike, I thought of calculating my market value. This, I thought, would offer some solace to my dad who has to bear with an outstretched hand (my hand), every single day. And me being the shameless creature that I am, ask for the cash everyday, without fail. It's been a mystery as to why he hasn't thrown me out of the house, yet. (He might be contemplating this).
Cut to the point, me is putting a quotation for myself with all my features and attributes and approximate a market value (read as dowry) that I expect from the bride (or groom).
Some of the phrases will be in the local dialect or atleast the direct english translation of the local dialect:
1. Me is Engineer - Value: Rs 50 lakh
2. Me is BE pass first time. (To be read as: I have graduated with a Bachelor's degree in Engineering without any backlogs... ) Value: Rs 50lakh + 10 lakh = Rs 60 lakh*.
(NOTE: All figures will be denoted in terms of the base value henceforth, viz 50 lakh)
3. Me is working (where??? That doesn't matter) - Value: Rs 75 lakh
4. Me Faarin return (To be read as: I have visited a country outside India) Value: Rs 1.5 Crore
5. Me can speaketh English - Value: Rs 1.9 Crore
6. English write me, English understand me - Value:Rs 2 Crore
7. Me is reddy, sorry, ready to learn any language of In-law's choice - Value: Rs 3 Crore
8. Me can ride bike - Value: Rs 3.5 Crore
9. Me can make Cup-Noodles very well - Value: Rs 3.75 Crore.
10. Me friend Othla was mentioning that in his caste, it is considered to be a prestigious issue to have a mistress. Me Say NAAICE for that. - Value: Rs 4.5 Crore*.
11. Me claims that me can play musical instrument (I dont expect my inlaws to verify that) - Value: Rs 4.51 Crore
12. Me plans to go to gym to build body (Like Chiranjeevi) - Value: Rs 8 Crore
13. Me is watches Chiranjeevi movies and consider Chiranjeevi to be the greatest star, ever- Value: Rs 20 Crore (Whoops what a jump!!!!)
14. Me doesn't mind the kind of bride I will be getting in exchange for the cash:
Clause a: For every physical deformity, I will charge an extra 5 crore.
So, the max I can expect is about 50 crore*.
Clause b: I dont mind if the Bride is fat. Every pound of extra flesh means a rise in the value
by 2 crore.
Clause c: Becoming a house-husband i.e. ghar jamai is acceptable but will come at an extra cost of 5 crore.
Clause d: For Rs 200 Crore, I dont mind if it is a BRIDE or a BRIDEGROOM*!!!!! (Half of the state, bordering Karnataka i.e. AP. should also be given away as free gift).
* - Conditions Apply. Read offer document carefully before investing.
I am not such a bad person as you might think I am. I have offered a generous once-in-a-lifetime discount of Rs 10000, as I dont match the description of being tall, dark and handsome. * (Again: * - Conditions Apply).
Oh, just as a footnote: The above amount mentioned is exclusive of 12.5% VAT and all other income tax complications.
ANY TAKERS????????
Saturday, May 19, 2007
PUB-(H)LIC VENTURE
After a lot of pondering, confusion and innumerable no of phone calls, we decided to visit one of the pubs in Bangalore. Purple Faze or Haze or some such thing... For starters, I've got no clue as to what these guys think while naming the pubs.. And me being a saint that I am, have (mis)understood 'pub' to be a prefix of the word 'lication'.
All said and done, the five of us met at this place Purple Gaze and me was in the highest of spirits...(Not in the literal sense. I abstain from consuming spirit). When I first looked at this place I felt the same way as any Muggle(non-wizard) would after seeing No 12, Grimmauld Place(For details, read Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix, Chapter 2/3).
When I yanked the door open, a blast of 'something' hit me and I'm positively sure I do not know what that something was. (Or to be more precise, I cannot describe what that something was). I saw some creature that remotely resembled a homo-sapien writhing on the floor convulsing rapidly. The 'playing-the-good-samaritan' instincts took over and I searched for a piece of iron to give it to this person who was suffering from a bout of fits. Thankfully, I stopped myself, (just in time), seeing a lot of people not bothered about him and going about their daily routine without so-much as a glance towards him. Karthik had the grace to shout over the din that he was 'Ed-barging'. (or was it 'Head Banging'?)
Phew!!! Pub visitors - 1 Bhargav - 0
5 min later I had a distinct feeling of something throbbing and it took me another 5 minutes to realize that the 'something' happened to be my head. Sitting right next to the source of the noise (the TV/screen/something where a few more crazy dudes were clanging all the metals that can be found in the Periodic Table), gave me an opportunity to observe the 'crowd'(The sole reason for me to visit that place was because of an anonymous tip-off who mentioned that the place would be swarming with the offsprings of Hens). The dudes and dudettes all the other tables were rocking back and forth.(something that looked like a continuous sequence of "I'm gonna fall now.. Oh no, I'm not.. I'm gonna fall now.. No, I'm not")... Whacky antics to attract a person's attention...
Pub visitors - 2 Bhargav - 0
Couple of minutes later, some guy came up to me and whispered something into my ear... (On any normal occasion, I'd have thought that this guy was making advances..but sanity prevailed here)... After running and re-running whatever he said to me for umpteen no of times in my mind, I figured out that he was the waiter asking us to place our order... Me being a toteetaler (or was it teetotaler), had to nudge Karthik (who seemed to be rocking like a pendulum)to place the order. Several minutes/hours/light-years after that, this waiter came to our table holding something that looked like an oversize candle with something sticking out.. Sibin,Karthik and Sarang took deep puffs and blew out smoke while it was a quite a funny scene watching Chubby do it..(he took a deep breath and inhaled some of the stuff but to our amusement, nothing came out). (Note: Me abstains from inhaling anonymous liquids/gases). Oh, i'd just found out that that candle with a wick was popularly known as "Hukka".
Pub Vistors - 3 Bhargav - 0
3 Pitchers later, tongues were loosening and Sarang, Sibin and Karthik were muttering something about "Salvation", "Best friends", "I'm not drunk totally"... (That's what everyone says..I mean, who would want to admit it that they are drunk"). I had an urge to rush up to the bartender/DJ and ask him to play Kishore Kumar songs (that too slow ones), but again, the rush of adrenalin was stemmed when Karthik gave me a "You-must-be-a-wierdo-to-do-that" look. (Plus, the urge to eat curd rice at that point of time had to be curbed due to the same reasons).
Pub Visitors - 4 Bhargav - 0
At 11.15, the owners of the Pub had the courtesy and the decency to turn off the music... (thank the present Govt for the late night rules, version 0.3 reviewed by HDK himself). By this time, it was me who was muttering gibberish (though I hadn't touched a drop of that goddam* alcohol). Karthik stood up to imitate some jack-ass who was playing an imaginary guitar, but thank god, they switched off the TV.. (Else, I would have seen two rare species on the same night)..
Pub Visitors -4 Bhargav - 1
I reached home almost at midnight, after dumping Karthik at Sarang's place. Sibin was hollering loudly about eating an ice-cream. Sarang was laughing for any and every sentence. Karthik wore dark sunglasses while he sat behind me. (to think of it - Dark glasses at midnight. We were close to getting arrested for such a pathetic sense of dressing). Chubby was having a "What-the-heck-have-I-gotten-myself-into" look.
I was lucky, my parents were sleeping, else I'd have gotten a huge boot in my backside. And I also happened to set a record for being the first person to have visited a pub without having a drink/smoke whatsoever. (And yet, had a set of clothes that were stinking and I was smelling as if I'd just walked out of a gas chamber..Just hoping that my mom doesn't get to know).
And if you think I'm never gonna visit a pub again...HECK, YES, I WILL!!!! Not to smoke or to booze but just to increase the count to Pub Visitors - 4 Bhargav - 4!!!
All said and done, the five of us met at this place Purple Gaze and me was in the highest of spirits...(Not in the literal sense. I abstain from consuming spirit). When I first looked at this place I felt the same way as any Muggle(non-wizard) would after seeing No 12, Grimmauld Place(For details, read Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix, Chapter 2/3).
When I yanked the door open, a blast of 'something' hit me and I'm positively sure I do not know what that something was. (Or to be more precise, I cannot describe what that something was). I saw some creature that remotely resembled a homo-sapien writhing on the floor convulsing rapidly. The 'playing-the-good-samaritan' instincts took over and I searched for a piece of iron to give it to this person who was suffering from a bout of fits. Thankfully, I stopped myself, (just in time), seeing a lot of people not bothered about him and going about their daily routine without so-much as a glance towards him. Karthik had the grace to shout over the din that he was 'Ed-barging'. (or was it 'Head Banging'?)
Phew!!! Pub visitors - 1 Bhargav - 0
5 min later I had a distinct feeling of something throbbing and it took me another 5 minutes to realize that the 'something' happened to be my head. Sitting right next to the source of the noise (the TV/screen/something where a few more crazy dudes were clanging all the metals that can be found in the Periodic Table), gave me an opportunity to observe the 'crowd'(The sole reason for me to visit that place was because of an anonymous tip-off who mentioned that the place would be swarming with the offsprings of Hens). The dudes and dudettes all the other tables were rocking back and forth.(something that looked like a continuous sequence of "I'm gonna fall now.. Oh no, I'm not.. I'm gonna fall now.. No, I'm not")... Whacky antics to attract a person's attention...
Pub visitors - 2 Bhargav - 0
Couple of minutes later, some guy came up to me and whispered something into my ear... (On any normal occasion, I'd have thought that this guy was making advances..but sanity prevailed here)... After running and re-running whatever he said to me for umpteen no of times in my mind, I figured out that he was the waiter asking us to place our order... Me being a toteetaler (or was it teetotaler), had to nudge Karthik (who seemed to be rocking like a pendulum)to place the order. Several minutes/hours/light-years after that, this waiter came to our table holding something that looked like an oversize candle with something sticking out.. Sibin,Karthik and Sarang took deep puffs and blew out smoke while it was a quite a funny scene watching Chubby do it..(he took a deep breath and inhaled some of the stuff but to our amusement, nothing came out). (Note: Me abstains from inhaling anonymous liquids/gases). Oh, i'd just found out that that candle with a wick was popularly known as "Hukka".
Pub Vistors - 3 Bhargav - 0
3 Pitchers later, tongues were loosening and Sarang, Sibin and Karthik were muttering something about "Salvation", "Best friends", "I'm not drunk totally"... (That's what everyone says..I mean, who would want to admit it that they are drunk"). I had an urge to rush up to the bartender/DJ and ask him to play Kishore Kumar songs (that too slow ones), but again, the rush of adrenalin was stemmed when Karthik gave me a "You-must-be-a-wierdo-to-do-that" look. (Plus, the urge to eat curd rice at that point of time had to be curbed due to the same reasons).
Pub Visitors - 4 Bhargav - 0
At 11.15, the owners of the Pub had the courtesy and the decency to turn off the music... (thank the present Govt for the late night rules, version 0.3 reviewed by HDK himself). By this time, it was me who was muttering gibberish (though I hadn't touched a drop of that goddam* alcohol). Karthik stood up to imitate some jack-ass who was playing an imaginary guitar, but thank god, they switched off the TV.. (Else, I would have seen two rare species on the same night)..
Pub Visitors -4 Bhargav - 1
I reached home almost at midnight, after dumping Karthik at Sarang's place. Sibin was hollering loudly about eating an ice-cream. Sarang was laughing for any and every sentence. Karthik wore dark sunglasses while he sat behind me. (to think of it - Dark glasses at midnight. We were close to getting arrested for such a pathetic sense of dressing). Chubby was having a "What-the-heck-have-I-gotten-myself-into" look.
I was lucky, my parents were sleeping, else I'd have gotten a huge boot in my backside. And I also happened to set a record for being the first person to have visited a pub without having a drink/smoke whatsoever. (And yet, had a set of clothes that were stinking and I was smelling as if I'd just walked out of a gas chamber..Just hoping that my mom doesn't get to know).
And if you think I'm never gonna visit a pub again...HECK, YES, I WILL!!!! Not to smoke or to booze but just to increase the count to Pub Visitors - 4 Bhargav - 4!!!
Monday, April 30, 2007
Disgustingly Despo
I'll keep this one short and straight to the point.
This blog space hasn't been recieved well by my admirers/detractors/rest of mankind.
I've been penning away articles that are worth publishing (you could also convert them to movies) and all I see is that I am the only one who reads them.
It's been nearly 7 months since I've started blogging and all I see is 900 on my site meter. Either the site meter has been malfunctioning or it has been malfunctioning.
I am having a tough time visiting my own blog nearly 20 times a day (after clearing all the cookies in my computer), just to increase the site meter count.
I had to stop writing Book Reviews(read post beneath this one) because of the exceedingly unmanageable number of comments I recieved for the first one. Publishers are queing up to me asking me to post more such reviews but lack of time and appreciation (read as comments) have forced me to take this extreme step(Not uploading any post for 2 whole months)!!!
For those who search for links within links within links as if they are on a treasure hunt (similar to profile hunters on Orkut ), i've also provided the links of my friends' blogs almost all of which are inactive. (Hurrah for that!!!)
So, what is preventing you from commenting for this one? (Dont give me lame excuses like I don't have time, or I don't like your blog, or Your blog aint funny, or You are a jackass or similar complements).
One final parting shot. "Truth manifests itself in terms of Contradictions. Contradictions lead you to the truth" - Thus spake...well...umm...(Name not mentioned for fear of losing my job. You don't quote your company's big boss and get away with it).
There you go. I've kept this one short and sweet.
This blog space hasn't been recieved well by my admirers/detractors/rest of mankind.
I've been penning away articles that are worth publishing (you could also convert them to movies) and all I see is that I am the only one who reads them.
It's been nearly 7 months since I've started blogging and all I see is 900 on my site meter. Either the site meter has been malfunctioning or it has been malfunctioning.
I am having a tough time visiting my own blog nearly 20 times a day (after clearing all the cookies in my computer), just to increase the site meter count.
I had to stop writing Book Reviews(read post beneath this one) because of the exceedingly unmanageable number of comments I recieved for the first one. Publishers are queing up to me asking me to post more such reviews but lack of time and appreciation (read as comments) have forced me to take this extreme step(Not uploading any post for 2 whole months)!!!
For those who search for links within links within links as if they are on a treasure hunt (similar to profile hunters on Orkut ), i've also provided the links of my friends' blogs almost all of which are inactive. (Hurrah for that!!!)
So, what is preventing you from commenting for this one? (Dont give me lame excuses like I don't have time, or I don't like your blog, or Your blog aint funny, or You are a jackass or similar complements).
One final parting shot. "Truth manifests itself in terms of Contradictions. Contradictions lead you to the truth" - Thus spake...well...umm...(Name not mentioned for fear of losing my job. You don't quote your company's big boss and get away with it).
There you go. I've kept this one short and sweet.
Friday, February 09, 2007
BOOK REVIEW 1:
Err...Ummm...Well...This idea is a rip off of one of my friends' posts...(He has restaurant reviews to his credit).. But, duh, this one is better...I mean the entire blog... No offense meant Meese Mama (Meese: A derogatory term in kannada for hair on unwanted parts of your body like the face)...
Book: DETECTIVE
Author: Arthur Hailey
Plot: Nothing very specific. Gives you the description of the daily life of a detective. And yes, he takes one serial killing case to illustrate this. Extremely well written. The description of the killings are gory. Not advisable for children. Absolutely no loopholes. Hailey manages to link all the sub plots convincingly.
My take: MUST READ.
Rating: ****
High Profile Readers' Comments: "A sizzling read!A Hailey Masterpiece!!!!" - Bhargav
Book: DETECTIVE
Author: Arthur Hailey
Plot: Nothing very specific. Gives you the description of the daily life of a detective. And yes, he takes one serial killing case to illustrate this. Extremely well written. The description of the killings are gory. Not advisable for children. Absolutely no loopholes. Hailey manages to link all the sub plots convincingly.
My take: MUST READ.
Rating: ****
High Profile Readers' Comments: "A sizzling read!A Hailey Masterpiece!!!!" - Bhargav
Wednesday, February 07, 2007
THE NAME IS DON, SHELDON
Last week one of the greatest ever novelists passed away and this post is to pay my last respects to a prolific storyteller and one of my favorite authors.
There was a poll in the TOI on the next day after his death. I was quite surprised to see the 5 books, TOI thought were the best:
1. Rage of Angels
2. Sands of Time
3. Master of the Game
4. The Naked Face
5. Dont remember the name.
For all I know, these were by no means the best books by Sheldon. Not to sound immodest, but either my knowledge of fiction is poor, or TOI (times of india) has a crappy taste....How could they have missed out bestsellers like Windmills of the Gods (which created Angel - the best assasin in the whole wide world), or If Tomorrow Comes (Forgot the name of the protagonist, but she was one helluva con), or The Doomsday Conspiracy(My favorite and till date I consider many other books to be based with a similar storyline...IceStation(Matthew Reilly) and DigitalFortress(Dan Brown) included), or Tell Me Your Dreams(a tale well spun around Multiple Personality Disorder) or the GOD book - The Other Side of Midnight and it's GOD sequel - Memories of Midnight (I'm sure the character of Napolean Chotas would linger in the readers' minds).
I pay my last respects to the man, whose books made me switch from Hardy Boys to serious fiction.
May his soul R.I.P
There was a poll in the TOI on the next day after his death. I was quite surprised to see the 5 books, TOI thought were the best:
1. Rage of Angels
2. Sands of Time
3. Master of the Game
4. The Naked Face
5. Dont remember the name.
For all I know, these were by no means the best books by Sheldon. Not to sound immodest, but either my knowledge of fiction is poor, or TOI (times of india) has a crappy taste....How could they have missed out bestsellers like Windmills of the Gods (which created Angel - the best assasin in the whole wide world), or If Tomorrow Comes (Forgot the name of the protagonist, but she was one helluva con), or The Doomsday Conspiracy(My favorite and till date I consider many other books to be based with a similar storyline...IceStation(Matthew Reilly) and DigitalFortress(Dan Brown) included), or Tell Me Your Dreams(a tale well spun around Multiple Personality Disorder) or the GOD book - The Other Side of Midnight and it's GOD sequel - Memories of Midnight (I'm sure the character of Napolean Chotas would linger in the readers' minds).
I pay my last respects to the man, whose books made me switch from Hardy Boys to serious fiction.
May his soul R.I.P
Thursday, January 25, 2007
PANTHER ATTACKED!!!!!
What an outrageous thing to happen. Especially when they are endangered species. PETA must've started the protests by now. GODDAMMIT. It wasn't a 'PANTHER' it was 'PANDHER'. HAMBURGER. There is a conference room with a TV quite close to my cubicle (if you can call it a cubicle) and they are showing this footage of PANDHER being assaulted.
FAGS... Every single one of them... I'm not talking about PANDHER or PANTHER or whoever. I'm cursing the TV operator who is glued to TIMES NOW. I mean which sane person on earth watches TIMES NOW when you've got a whole lot of steamy commercials being aired on AXN.
The next set of goddamn ba****rds are these TIMES NOW journalists who are running and re-running the footage of Pandher being assaulted. I wonder if they are trying to get some sympathy votes for him. Or even worse, Ram Jethmalani might probably consider defending him. (That would just be the last straw: Ram Jethmalani calling Pandher a symbol of peace and a person who loves children just as he did while he defended that pot-smoking goddamn crunkie - Manu Whatever). Of course Pandher does love children, but not in the sense we are talking about. Or we could probably have that dickhead Jaffer Sharief taking out a procession in the communally (in)sensitive Shivajinagar to protest the inhuman treatment meted out to him by RSS (I don't know the connection between RSS and Pandher or his henchman Koli). Heck, that guy is a goddamn necrophiliac and a future politician (a successful one as well), so why show him in good light. For god's sake, that guy deserves a gruesome death penalty.. If possible pluck his fingers one by one and leave him to die a painful death.
I've still not recovered from the much hyped Ash-AB wedding (read Hari's blog on Aish set to marry AB's baby), or the Shilpa Shetty racism issue (dont Read Kunta's take on racism) and now this. (There is a storm brewing with Hema Malini's controversial comments as well).
I guess this is all a part of a big conspiracy to stop me from watching television.
I repeat...GODDAMN FAGS...EVERY SINGLE ONE OF THEM!!!!!
FAGS... Every single one of them... I'm not talking about PANDHER or PANTHER or whoever. I'm cursing the TV operator who is glued to TIMES NOW. I mean which sane person on earth watches TIMES NOW when you've got a whole lot of steamy commercials being aired on AXN.
The next set of goddamn ba****rds are these TIMES NOW journalists who are running and re-running the footage of Pandher being assaulted. I wonder if they are trying to get some sympathy votes for him. Or even worse, Ram Jethmalani might probably consider defending him. (That would just be the last straw: Ram Jethmalani calling Pandher a symbol of peace and a person who loves children just as he did while he defended that pot-smoking goddamn crunkie - Manu Whatever). Of course Pandher does love children, but not in the sense we are talking about. Or we could probably have that dickhead Jaffer Sharief taking out a procession in the communally (in)sensitive Shivajinagar to protest the inhuman treatment meted out to him by RSS (I don't know the connection between RSS and Pandher or his henchman Koli). Heck, that guy is a goddamn necrophiliac and a future politician (a successful one as well), so why show him in good light. For god's sake, that guy deserves a gruesome death penalty.. If possible pluck his fingers one by one and leave him to die a painful death.
I've still not recovered from the much hyped Ash-AB wedding (read Hari's blog on Aish set to marry AB's baby), or the Shilpa Shetty racism issue (dont Read Kunta's take on racism) and now this. (There is a storm brewing with Hema Malini's controversial comments as well).
I guess this is all a part of a big conspiracy to stop me from watching television.
I repeat...GODDAMN FAGS...EVERY SINGLE ONE OF THEM!!!!!
BOOKS,BOOKS 'N' MORE BOOKS
STATUTORY WARNING: If you are not a bookworm, or not one of those who like non-academic books, or one of those to whom I need to explain that "books" are not Extra-Terrestrial flying objects, please go the top right corner of this page. You will find a small box containing an 'X' mark. Please click on that to experience a magical effect. If you have any doubts related to reference books, then you may please keep them to yourself.
I spent a lot of time trying to figure out what I'm going to write about the books which have given me good company for most part of my 23 year old stay on Planet Earth. Please note that these books have got absolutely nothing to do with the ones they prescribe in school, college etc etc. (Heck I am not qualified enough to write about them).
Let me start off with the books that I read when I was ummm..well just about old enough to read them... Misha, Tinkle... These books rock till date... For those of you who don't know who Misha is, first of all Misha isn't a who, it is a what. One of the better things to happen to the USSR. I guess they found out about my addiction to Misha and hence USSR had to disintegrate. (Mebbe they dint want me to be the future editor of Misha) Dont know whether it still exists. Tinkle, champak and chandamama can be classified as classics.. Every single one of them.. Purists might like to point out that 'the Bard' Will Shakespeare's novels are classics, I say...Screw them... Oh and yes, Gokulam was equally good as well...It was the cheapest of the lot (available at Rs 3 way back in 1990), plus it featured the Undir stories.
I'm not sure as to how many would have of Indrajal Comics (no..no..they are not the ones which were made into Mithun Chakraborthy movies).. These were our good ol' Phantom, Superman, Garth, Mandrake... I'm willing to offer all my earnings to the person who can procure the entire set of these books.
Cut to my middle school when teenage detective novels were the hottest selling stuff around...Or at least I was addicted to them.. Hardy Boys and Nancy Drew... Sounds childish now..But back then, it was every youngster's dream to be a detective. There was a friend of mine who wanted to join CBI after reading Hardy Boys. The last time I heard from him, he was a software engineer... Oh...Please dont club The Three Investigators into the Hardy Boys - Nancy Drew league... That series was a class apart (specially the ones written by Alfred Hitchcock). For those of you who are wondering as to why I have included Enid Blyton in this list: She was a Englishwoman and hence I abstained from reading her novels. The truth: I was too busy playing 'gully' cricket and yes, 'Third term at Mallory Towers' wasn't the best Enid Blyton book to start off with.
After reading almost the entire Hardy Boys collection (during which time, my dad was on the verge of throwing me out of the house for spending Rs2 everyday on the hardy boys books which I used to daily borrow from the local library), there were a couple of years that I wasted reading academics (If i'm right, that was PU-1 and PU-2). To think of it, had I spent those two years fruitfully, I might have ended up adding few more authors to my collection of "I finished them" list.
Post PU it was Agatha Christie for almost the rest of the summer. AND THEN THERE WERE NONE, MURDER IN MESOPOTAMIA, MURDER OF ROGER ACKROYD, HICKORY DICKORY DOCK, POIROT's LAST CASE still give me sleepless nights... I'm not a fag... I dare anyone to read AND THEN THERE WERE NONE sitting all alone in a room, with no one at home on a dark, rainy night and sleep peacefully after reading it.
Sidney Sheldon's THE DOOMSDAY CONSPIRACY had me hooked on to his novels (yes, Sidney Sheldon is a HE and not a SHE). I've often said that DIGITAL FORTRESS (by Dan Brown) and other similar books have been cheap imitations of this Sheldon's thriller. Hari would disagree with me on this count. I almost forgot, except for the SANDS OF TIME, all his other books are must read books.
Speaking of the other must read books, Mario Puzo sure has delivered cult books GODFATHER, THE SICILIAN, OMERTA, LAST DON, FOURTH K being just some of them. And after reading all these books if you consider Mario Puzo as God, then please DONT read FOOLS DIE or THE FAMILY. Chances are that you might end up retching the food you ate weeks ago.
Colin Forbes is the easiest of all authors to plagiarize. Create an imaginary character called Tweed, who is human, has Chacha Chaudhary's brains, a side-kick assistant called Paula Gray, and some sidekick sharpshooter (called Marler), a reporter (Bob Newman) and keep running from Britain to Germany to France to Spain and back to Britain with this Tweed character trying to save the world from the evil forces. Also create an assasin(preferably the son or daughter of a Knight/Earl) who has the nickname of a 3 year old whose identity you should reveal at the end of the book. Refrain from using the 'F**K' word in your book and there you go. You can name yourself as Colin Forbes and start publishing.
John Grisham is one author who can be compared to our very own Vinod Kambli. He delivers brilliant bestselling novels like PELICAN BRIEF, CLIENT, THE PARTNER and whatnot and just as you are about to classify him as one of the best author's till date he comes up with equally pathetic novels like KING OF TORTS and THE INNOCENT MAN. Hamburger.
Michael Crichton is GOD. I cannot praise him further. For those of you who aren't familiar with his writings, start off with any book other than STATE OF FEAR.
Robert Ludlum, Fredrick Forsythe, Jack Higgins, Tom Clancy - Some of the world's best 'espionage' tale-spinners. Most of their novels are bestsellers. Having said that, Matthew Reilly's novels are the most fast-paced novels I've ever read. (If you doubt this statement of mine, read AREA-7).
I wont comment on JK Rowling. Awaiting her seventh book. Will dedicate an entire post to her.
Despite having read so many books, I feel that the world is divided into two categories:
Those who have read the HITCHHIKERS GUIDE TO THE GALAXY and those who haven't. The single greatest book to be ever written. I rest my case.
@All those who read my blog: I've left out a lot of big names here. Partially attributed to my failing memory and also due to the monotony of the blog. Also partially because I got bored typing. Please feel free to click on Comments-> Post a comment and type the rest of the names.
I spent a lot of time trying to figure out what I'm going to write about the books which have given me good company for most part of my 23 year old stay on Planet Earth. Please note that these books have got absolutely nothing to do with the ones they prescribe in school, college etc etc. (Heck I am not qualified enough to write about them).
Let me start off with the books that I read when I was ummm..well just about old enough to read them... Misha, Tinkle... These books rock till date... For those of you who don't know who Misha is, first of all Misha isn't a who, it is a what. One of the better things to happen to the USSR. I guess they found out about my addiction to Misha and hence USSR had to disintegrate. (Mebbe they dint want me to be the future editor of Misha) Dont know whether it still exists. Tinkle, champak and chandamama can be classified as classics.. Every single one of them.. Purists might like to point out that 'the Bard' Will Shakespeare's novels are classics, I say...Screw them... Oh and yes, Gokulam was equally good as well...It was the cheapest of the lot (available at Rs 3 way back in 1990), plus it featured the Undir stories.
I'm not sure as to how many would have of Indrajal Comics (no..no..they are not the ones which were made into Mithun Chakraborthy movies).. These were our good ol' Phantom, Superman, Garth, Mandrake... I'm willing to offer all my earnings to the person who can procure the entire set of these books.
Cut to my middle school when teenage detective novels were the hottest selling stuff around...Or at least I was addicted to them.. Hardy Boys and Nancy Drew... Sounds childish now..But back then, it was every youngster's dream to be a detective. There was a friend of mine who wanted to join CBI after reading Hardy Boys. The last time I heard from him, he was a software engineer... Oh...Please dont club The Three Investigators into the Hardy Boys - Nancy Drew league... That series was a class apart (specially the ones written by Alfred Hitchcock). For those of you who are wondering as to why I have included Enid Blyton in this list: She was a Englishwoman and hence I abstained from reading her novels. The truth: I was too busy playing 'gully' cricket and yes, 'Third term at Mallory Towers' wasn't the best Enid Blyton book to start off with.
After reading almost the entire Hardy Boys collection (during which time, my dad was on the verge of throwing me out of the house for spending Rs2 everyday on the hardy boys books which I used to daily borrow from the local library), there were a couple of years that I wasted reading academics (If i'm right, that was PU-1 and PU-2). To think of it, had I spent those two years fruitfully, I might have ended up adding few more authors to my collection of "I finished them" list.
Post PU it was Agatha Christie for almost the rest of the summer. AND THEN THERE WERE NONE, MURDER IN MESOPOTAMIA, MURDER OF ROGER ACKROYD, HICKORY DICKORY DOCK, POIROT's LAST CASE still give me sleepless nights... I'm not a fag... I dare anyone to read AND THEN THERE WERE NONE sitting all alone in a room, with no one at home on a dark, rainy night and sleep peacefully after reading it.
Sidney Sheldon's THE DOOMSDAY CONSPIRACY had me hooked on to his novels (yes, Sidney Sheldon is a HE and not a SHE). I've often said that DIGITAL FORTRESS (by Dan Brown) and other similar books have been cheap imitations of this Sheldon's thriller. Hari would disagree with me on this count. I almost forgot, except for the SANDS OF TIME, all his other books are must read books.
Speaking of the other must read books, Mario Puzo sure has delivered cult books GODFATHER, THE SICILIAN, OMERTA, LAST DON, FOURTH K being just some of them. And after reading all these books if you consider Mario Puzo as God, then please DONT read FOOLS DIE or THE FAMILY. Chances are that you might end up retching the food you ate weeks ago.
Colin Forbes is the easiest of all authors to plagiarize. Create an imaginary character called Tweed, who is human, has Chacha Chaudhary's brains, a side-kick assistant called Paula Gray, and some sidekick sharpshooter (called Marler), a reporter (Bob Newman) and keep running from Britain to Germany to France to Spain and back to Britain with this Tweed character trying to save the world from the evil forces. Also create an assasin(preferably the son or daughter of a Knight/Earl) who has the nickname of a 3 year old whose identity you should reveal at the end of the book. Refrain from using the 'F**K' word in your book and there you go. You can name yourself as Colin Forbes and start publishing.
John Grisham is one author who can be compared to our very own Vinod Kambli. He delivers brilliant bestselling novels like PELICAN BRIEF, CLIENT, THE PARTNER and whatnot and just as you are about to classify him as one of the best author's till date he comes up with equally pathetic novels like KING OF TORTS and THE INNOCENT MAN. Hamburger.
Michael Crichton is GOD. I cannot praise him further. For those of you who aren't familiar with his writings, start off with any book other than STATE OF FEAR.
Robert Ludlum, Fredrick Forsythe, Jack Higgins, Tom Clancy - Some of the world's best 'espionage' tale-spinners. Most of their novels are bestsellers. Having said that, Matthew Reilly's novels are the most fast-paced novels I've ever read. (If you doubt this statement of mine, read AREA-7).
I wont comment on JK Rowling. Awaiting her seventh book. Will dedicate an entire post to her.
Despite having read so many books, I feel that the world is divided into two categories:
Those who have read the HITCHHIKERS GUIDE TO THE GALAXY and those who haven't. The single greatest book to be ever written. I rest my case.
@All those who read my blog: I've left out a lot of big names here. Partially attributed to my failing memory and also due to the monotony of the blog. Also partially because I got bored typing. Please feel free to click on Comments-> Post a comment and type the rest of the names.
Saturday, January 06, 2007
TESTIMONIALS FOR ALL MY FRIENDS
People,
Contrary to my previous posts which actually did not mean whatever I'd written...
Here is a post that comes truly from thy heart and everything written here is intentional and is intended to be
personal (quite contrary to the "Nothing Personal about it..")...
Lemme cut the crap and get straight to the point...
Of all the "crappy" set of fags I've got as friends (Note: Statement used by kunta in reply to my previous post and
I put a disclaimer here) I thought it would be a nice gesture on my part if were to reveal a few of their traits/personality/behaviour/whatever to mankind. This is a goodwill gesture on my part to homosapiens, so that they
dont form any "first impressions" about these people.
Let me start with the femme fatales (with due respect to the people of the opposite sex) first:
Also, names have been changed to protect privacy.
1. Nish:
- Also known as Jane Bond.For details refer holyplanet.com. The others know what i'm refering to
- Associated with alternate streets, roads, etc
- Mother to most kids including me.
- One of the butt of our marriage jokes (read on to find the other one)
- Respects Bangalore muls and condemns Geralites. (Any takers????)
- Has a pact with Sriram. (watch F.R.I.E.N.D.S for more details)
2. Shett
- Huge fan of Aishwarya Rai and other similar people
- The other person i mentioned in the previous para.
- Anti-Bandes
- Anti-Congress
- Tries to maintain "miss two goody shoes" impression but fails miserably.
3. Nachi
- The very fact that I've included him in this category is sufficient.
Moving on to the "Macho Men"
1. Hari:
- Hates Muls
- Hates Hippies
- Hates Bongs
- Hates the rest of mankind
In that order
- Self proclaimed gay
2. Deepak:
- Biggest Bande Hater
- Eric cartman of the group. Need I say more
3. Kunta:
- Pro Bande
- Pro congress
- Semi Pro Communism
- Tweek of the first order
- Big Asshole
- Considered to be a fag by many including yours truly.
- Butt of most jokes (unknown to him though)
4. Sharath:
- Most punctual
- Has a trace of English accent (DISCLAIMER: I am quoting Hari)
- Will tell you more about him once I understand what he speaks. (Again, Quoting Hari)
5. Yours truly
- The floor is all yours. Go to Comments -> Post a comment and start typing..
6. Tiger: ASE - Aunty Social Element (Thanks deepak). As the name suggests, this dude has totally the hots for any lady above the age of 40. He loves them preferably b/w the age of 50 and 120.Has taken up every shitty exam under the sun and has done this just to kill time.Absolutely concerned on the livelyhood of others esp. taxi drivers, pani-puriwallas etc. Hates MNC's esp the food joints but a huge fan of Pizzas and burgers.
7)Bakra : Named so for the obvious reasons.Is the living example of the phrase "Horny as a trout". Always looking for opportunities for meeting girls and this can be in the most innappropriate of situations(ex: he will do this to a bride at her wedding)
Contrary to my previous posts which actually did not mean whatever I'd written...
Here is a post that comes truly from thy heart and everything written here is intentional and is intended to be
personal (quite contrary to the "Nothing Personal about it..")...
Lemme cut the crap and get straight to the point...
Of all the "crappy" set of fags I've got as friends (Note: Statement used by kunta in reply to my previous post and
I put a disclaimer here) I thought it would be a nice gesture on my part if were to reveal a few of their traits/personality/behaviour/whatever to mankind. This is a goodwill gesture on my part to homosapiens, so that they
dont form any "first impressions" about these people.
Let me start with the femme fatales (with due respect to the people of the opposite sex) first:
Also, names have been changed to protect privacy.
1. Nish:
- Also known as Jane Bond.For details refer holyplanet.com. The others know what i'm refering to
- Associated with alternate streets, roads, etc
- Mother to most kids including me.
- One of the butt of our marriage jokes (read on to find the other one)
- Respects Bangalore muls and condemns Geralites. (Any takers????)
- Has a pact with Sriram. (watch F.R.I.E.N.D.S for more details)
2. Shett
- Huge fan of Aishwarya Rai and other similar people
- The other person i mentioned in the previous para.
- Anti-Bandes
- Anti-Congress
- Tries to maintain "miss two goody shoes" impression but fails miserably.
3. Nachi
- The very fact that I've included him in this category is sufficient.
Moving on to the "Macho Men"
1. Hari:
- Hates Muls
- Hates Hippies
- Hates Bongs
- Hates the rest of mankind
In that order
- Self proclaimed gay
2. Deepak:
- Biggest Bande Hater
- Eric cartman of the group. Need I say more
3. Kunta:
- Pro Bande
- Pro congress
- Semi Pro Communism
- Tweek of the first order
- Big Asshole
- Considered to be a fag by many including yours truly.
- Butt of most jokes (unknown to him though)
4. Sharath:
- Most punctual
- Has a trace of English accent (DISCLAIMER: I am quoting Hari)
- Will tell you more about him once I understand what he speaks. (Again, Quoting Hari)
5. Yours truly
- The floor is all yours. Go to Comments -> Post a comment and start typing..
6. Tiger: ASE - Aunty Social Element (Thanks deepak). As the name suggests, this dude has totally the hots for any lady above the age of 40. He loves them preferably b/w the age of 50 and 120.Has taken up every shitty exam under the sun and has done this just to kill time.Absolutely concerned on the livelyhood of others esp. taxi drivers, pani-puriwallas etc. Hates MNC's esp the food joints but a huge fan of Pizzas and burgers.
7)Bakra : Named so for the obvious reasons.Is the living example of the phrase "Horny as a trout". Always looking for opportunities for meeting girls and this can be in the most innappropriate of situations(ex: he will do this to a bride at her wedding)
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)